What if i get better.

Anyone suffering from depression may post their history, experience, comments and/or suggestions. Please refrain from indepth discussions about medicines or other therapies.
Post Reply
Lynnie35
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Jan 14, 2013 9:13 pm

What if i get better.

Post by Lynnie35 » Tue Jan 15, 2013 8:33 pm

Hi, I am 35, i have had anxiety and depression since i was a baby/ child. Of course i never knew what it was. But It got worse around puberty. And i've been on disability for many years... it's stolen my whole life from me. I just got this program and am beginning to start it. Literally my whole life has been taking me because of it. And people, most family members always sort of hate me, and are angry at me that i don't work and didn't work much. They don't understand. But my question is. let's say this works and i'm suddenly cured or get better. i'm worried...what the hell will i do? suddenly get better and move on and live a normal life? How the heck would i move on after losing half my life? that ALONE gives me anxiety. I just don't feel i'll ever be able to work. It has taken me years just to be OK and barely life day to day NOT having to work.. i can't imagine ever actually having to do something more overwhelming that what i do on a daily basis which isn't much compared to you people who work everyday with a family and 3 kids. UGH.. Even back when i used to work i used to have blackouts and stuff and had to get neurologist tests etc always finding nothing. i just feel it's too late for me to ever get a normal life back..it'd be too surreal and strange for me. DO you think i could recover somewhat from this program but still not work but be ok enough to live the life i do now not working without anxiety and depression? even that would be a step up for me..lol

coachchris
Posts: 757
Joined: Wed Jun 06, 2012 2:34 pm

Re: What if i get better.

Post by coachchris » Wed Jan 16, 2013 9:26 pm

Hi Lynnie,

This is Coach Chris from the coaching team here at Stress. Thank you for your post and reaching out.

Good for you that you are willing and choosing to change your present moment and move toward growth. You are focused on today. Stay right here in this moment. Tomorrow will come one day at a time and it will all be good. Keep moving forward with the positive whatifs. Be sure to pause any global thoughts about what the future will look like. You are choosing to take control of today. That is what you have power over.

It is hard for us to take responsibility for today. Worrying about tomorrow is an easy distraction and a good excuse to stay stuck. Commit to your program. Choose 3 positives thoughts that you can get anchored into and keep us posted on your progress. You are a courageous woman. Keep loving yourself!

We are here to help.
Coach Chris StressCenter.com

Lynnie35
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Jan 14, 2013 9:13 pm

Re: What if i get better.

Post by Lynnie35 » Thu Jan 17, 2013 9:50 pm

Hi, thanks for replying. I am listening now to session 3 and it's just starting, about positive thoughts. SO now i see where your coming from. I guess that would be something i'd have to work on. ANy ideas of how to START loving yourself when everyone around you pretty much hates you and always seems angry towards you and you've never really been liked even though you'd a good. or nice person? WIll i ever be able to like myself when nobody else does? it's almost like it's being unrealistic....but i'll continue to listen to the cd maybe the answer is in this session not sure.

coachchris wrote:Hi Lynnie,

This is Coach Chris from the coaching team here at Stress. Thank you for your post and reaching out.

Good for you that you are willing and choosing to change your present moment and move toward growth. You are focused on today. Stay right here in this moment. Tomorrow will come one day at a time and it will all be good. Keep moving forward with the positive whatifs. Be sure to pause any global thoughts about what the future will look like. You are choosing to take control of today. That is what you have power over.

It is hard for us to take responsibility for today. Worrying about tomorrow is an easy distraction and a good excuse to stay stuck. Commit to your program. Choose 3 positives thoughts that you can get anchored into and keep us posted on your progress. You are a courageous woman. Keep loving yourself!

We are here to help.
Coach Chris StressCenter.com

bob p
Posts: 137
Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2010 11:52 pm

Re: What if i get better.

Post by bob p » Fri Jan 18, 2013 1:10 am

hello lynnie35. i think with practice and patience you will continue to get better. the ups and downs will come but be strong you can do it with all of us backing you up. you are retraining yourself how to think. it does take some time but you will get there. i believe you have it in you to also go back to work. take that chance, you are worth it. baby steps. take it slow.

LyndaLu
Posts: 794
Joined: Sun Oct 03, 2010 4:43 pm

Re: What if i get better.

Post by LyndaLu » Sat Jan 25, 2014 7:20 pm

Dear Lynnie:

I know that you posted here over a year ago, but when I read your post I found
bits and pieces of myself in it. I have asked myself the very same question
that you are asking...WHAT IF I GET BETTER.

I have been on disability for one year now. I HAD my last job position for
24 long years. Unfortunately, my illness took ahold of me and ran rampant.
Thus, ending the job. I have had many new experiences over the past 8 years
of my illness. Many downs and some ups.

First of all, I have found out, through these many experiences, that
having a job does not define who you are. Your self worth and value
should not come from your job. I have always put all my eggs in one
basket, always relying on the job for my purpose and dignity. Now with
the job gone, the purpose and dignity went too. I am starting to
rebuild my life, on disability, and without counting on my job to
define who I am.

I have had the same anxiety as you about getting better and thinking
about what I would do if I had to work again at a job. This gives
ME anxiety also. I know now, at this time, that I cannot work and it
would not do me any good to do so. I get extreme anxiety just by
experiencing the lows and highs of everyday life. There are so many
decisions to make and so many choices. What if I don't make the
right ones ?

Don't worry about going back to work. Your only focus at this time
should be becoming a healthier you. This is your time to grow and
shine. This is the time to treat yourself with compassion and respect.
It sounds like you are headed in the right direction.

As far as family members not understanding, I GET that too.
Some of them will never understand the illness at all.
You can't change the way another person thinks or feels.
There is a saying "you cannot teach an old dog new tricks".
Maybe this saying is about our family members ?
I have learned one thing for sure, I don't waste any more
of my time trying to get my family members to
understand me and my illness. I WAS trying to do that
and it caused me SO much anxiety that I just quit trying.
Now I have more energy to concentrate on my recovery
instead of wasting it on other people. Some people think
that taking care of yourself FIRST is selfish, IT IS NOT !
Taking care of yourself is the smartest thing you can do.

Wishing everyone here a healthy and happy New Year.

LyndaLu :)

Post Reply