depression and many forms of pain(help)

[tjzaxxer]

Hey people, I have been depressed for a long time and its effecting me even now. I'm a 17 year old that feels out of place in this world. I et many punches, kicks, slaps, and other physical "attacks", but now it just feels natural to get hit. The pain turns into something better; something that actually makes me feel good, but that's a bad thing. I shouldn't make me feel joy or any positive emotion. My emotional pain is starting from fights unfortunately finally starting between me and my girlfriend. This got his hands on her phone and 1st: tried to convince me he was her and after that tried to get me to break up with her. I'm under so much stress and depression; I could use a lot of advice. Please help...

[tjzaxxer]

Here is an update on my situation. The physical attacks have been increasing. I'm ready to cry my eyes out, my church, family and most of my friends don't understand me or anything about me. My out of state friends and my girlfriend are my only real help(besides one friend that lives around my neighborgood). I have been feeling betrayed by everyone especially my family. I'm just ready to cry at any moment, but my body won't let me; my emotions want me to though. Please, someone help with any kind of advice.