fear, love and hatred

[tjzaxxer]

Hey everyone, sorry I haven't been on much, but I have been going through a lot of stuff; centering around the words in my topic. For a long time I have been leading a life of fear; fear of no other person to share my emotions and stuff with, fear of no "real" life, fear of many things. This has all changed thanks to my new girlfriend, Krissy. She is the most beautiful, understanding, kind girl I have ever met and she has been there for me every step of the way. We may be states apart and have a year difference between us, but we've been making it work. The hatred, though, is from my family, "friends", and all the other people who turned everything against me. Please, someone respond.

[tjzaxxer]

Hey people, just an update on the situation. In the amount of time I have been off of the site, I have conquered my fears with the help of my extremely beautiful girlfriend,Krissy. She and I have some big plans for the future and I mean BIG!! It's a long process we will have to go through, but it'll be worth it; moving in with each other and such. Even if our parents won't approve of it anyways, we will make it work. The hatred towards those people in my last post is growing larger every single day. If anyone wants to talk, just reply or pm me. Thanks and either way, pm me; I need advice on the moving in with each other situation.

[bob p]

hey tjzaxxer, how is everything going. i know it is december already but i am still interested in how you are doing with your feelings of anger and hatred. i hope you are trying to vent these feelings in a constructive way. bob

[tjzaxxer]

My feelings of anger and hatred have gotten out of control. My dad is continuing a fight from earlier and there might actually be someone on the floor. I've been ready to cry for days and he doesn't give a f*** about it. I've been on the idea of death for too long and it might occur to me soon; either that or jail. If anyone is concerned, please respond quickly.

[bob p]

well listen and listen good. i care and there are plenty of other people that care too. i want you to call StressCenter now or talk you a counselor at school or work or get one from your doctors office. you do not have to be living with this much anger. you can vent in different ways than getting yourself in all sorts of trouble. take a walk a run a bike ride just get out and let that anger out. you can do it. trust me. have you talked to your dad about how hurt you are, really talked to him or are you just letting your anger get the best of you and yelling and saying things you dont mean. talk to me. bob

[tjzaxxer]

Just to be clear I have tried talking to him and he and I in the same room usually means trouble. When I was younger, he was never around to help me in any situation. He is always involved in his work and whenever any of us try to approach him, he starts to swear at us. In fact, I don't get along with any of my family members. They treat me like crap most of the time so I rely on friends. I don't have many friends in state, but I have many out of state friends that I can definitely count on. They are who I consider my family. My anger is still inside and ready for that kick to activate it. Someone respond; including you bob

[bob p]

i am sorry to hear about your dad treating you like that and not getting along with you other family. i want to try and focus on all of your other friends who are just like family. be the better person and show your family how you want to be treated by treating them that way. i know it is sooooo hard because you have so much anger inside and arent being treated the way you should be. you sound like a such good guy who wants that family love that you deserve but sometimes we cant make others act the way we want them to. you are a strong man who can be the better person. never give up and keep being the better person. you can do it. i know you can.