no desire to live, but fear of death

Anyone suffering from depression may post their history, experience, comments and/or suggestions. Please refrain from indepth discussions about medicines or other therapies.
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chelsee
Posts: 6
Joined: Tue Jun 26, 2012 1:29 am

no desire to live, but fear of death

Post by chelsee » Wed Aug 22, 2012 5:47 pm

I have been doing this program for 2 months, and I do feel like I'm getting more of a hold on my anxiety. Even though I feel like I am improving in ways, I have not improved the driving force of my depression, my outlook on life and time. I feel like there is no importance in life because everything is temporary. Why did I used to look forward to things? How did I not notice this depressing realization sooner? Why can't anybody see what I see? I feel like I have put forth immense effort with this program, but I can't shake this thought. I don't know how much more I can take of this. how can I enjoy living in constant moving time? how can I look forward to something that will be a vague memory before I know it? I feel numb and I have nothing left in me. I have been dealing with severe depression ever since a series of panic attacks 4 months ago. Will this ever get better?

worryguy
Posts: 21
Joined: Mon Sep 06, 2010 9:51 pm

Re: no desire to live, but fear of death

Post by worryguy » Wed Aug 22, 2012 11:30 pm

i understand that feeling. This whole world is a little over connected for me. Ive had to slow it down on my own. less cell phone time...take one thing at a time..... ignore the overload. Im having some anxious times of my own right now. Its a lot of work to keep these thoughts in check. we just have to stop....take some time to only deal with what's imortant and sift through the pile to take out only what we appreciate. Hand in there...... we can do this. ;)

NeverQuit
Posts: 162
Joined: Mon Dec 06, 2010 1:22 pm

Re: no desire to live, but fear of death

Post by NeverQuit » Thu Aug 23, 2012 6:14 pm

Hi Chelsee,

I know you already know this, but what's most important for you right now is to stick with the program! Keep plugging through, even when things are at their worse. You need to be practicing the positive dialogue session of the program.

Listen to what the people in the lessons are saying. Many of them suffered with severe depression, and they are now laughing, happy, in-the-moment individuals. Don't give up! You are no different than they are, even if your brain wants to tell you that you are. You need to find that desire within yourself to be over this condition. You need to find it and fight against these feelings IN SPITE of the anxiety and depression. You need to CHOOSE to believe that you CAN get through this.

Make sure to get exercise. So much of depression is not just what we are telling ourselves, but our biochemistry as well. You need to be taking care of yourself, even if you don't feel like it. That's the key with depression - do what you KNOW is right when you don't feel like it!!! And eventually, you will feel better.

Make sure to eat turkey - it's high in tryptophan, a precurser to seratonin, which is necessary for positive feelings.

Commit to praying each night and asking God to give you a peaceful night of sleep and to guide and direct you. Even if you are not sure what you believe, I encourage you to ask God to show Himself to you. He will!!

You are not alone! Don't believe the lie that you are. Take action today and you will see results!!!

God bless and praying for you!!

jewel2024
Posts: 11
Joined: Sat Jun 20, 2009 2:04 pm

Re: no desire to live, but fear of death

Post by jewel2024 » Fri Aug 31, 2012 5:59 pm

Hello. I did this program five years ago and it helped me, but it wasnt the only thing. I had a good doctor that put me on the right meds and i recovered in 2/3 months. I was in a sever deep depression like you. The meds helped me for a short time while I learned the skills I needed to change my negative thinking. When ever I feel bad I always think of happier times and know that I will be there again one day. I think of small things I love like pumpkin spice iced lattes(decaf) in the fall and watching my son play soccer or snuggling on the couch with a loved one even if it is one of my dogs.

missgsr
Posts: 100
Joined: Mon Nov 03, 2008 11:30 am

Re: no desire to live, but fear of death

Post by missgsr » Tue Sep 11, 2012 5:46 pm

chelsee wrote:I feel like there is no importance in life because everything is temporary.
I think you hit the nail on the head, Chelsee. Everything is temporary...including our anxiety and depression, as long as you work at it. Dont' give up!

Also, I 100% agree with everything NeverQuit said (some REALLY good stuff in that post) except for the God thing. While I appreciate that God is a source of strength for a lot of people, it's not for all (like me). I'm not sure what your religious beliefs are but I DO believe that working on your spiritual growth (regardless of what religion) is a huge factor in getting well and happy. I personally have been doing a lot of meditation and positive self talk (constantly saying positive things to myself, even if I don't necessarily believe them at the time). It took a long time to get myself to start but it has helped tremendously!

chelsee
Posts: 6
Joined: Tue Jun 26, 2012 1:29 am

Re: no desire to live, but fear of death

Post by chelsee » Fri Sep 21, 2012 3:45 pm

Thanks everyone for the comments! I'm just pushing through, hoping for better days :)

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