Depression sucks and is dragging me down!

[mmorse6300]

Having a really hard time lately. I am only in my second session and not really getting anything out of it yet. I have a step son thats 4 and I have hatred towards him. Never used to until his mom started making things so miserable and turning us in for child abuse when he falls down just stupid stuff. He is constantly lying but I am sure he's getting that from his mother who has lied in court more than once. I have told him that he is going to get his mommy and daddy in some real trouble if he doesn't stop saying some of the things he does. It stresses me out for him to even be around! Horrible I know. And yes I am worried about what who reads this might think but I can't keep hiding! It makes my marriage worse and the anger just eats me up!

I got married in June. My husband knew I was very depressed before but of course doesn't understand so he just thought I could get off my meds and I would be ok. I am so tired of people not understanding! I am so angry all of the time, and I mean all of the time! Its so stressful just to try and explain yourself constantly to someone that just doesn't get it. My husband wants the woman he fell in love with. She has been gone for over a year and idk how to find her. I can't stand the feeling of being lost!!!!

i need this to work. I can't keep feeling this way! I am not working so I feel like a total failure. I am 33 and have tried school more than once and get so anxious and depressed that I can't concentrate! My marriage will end if I don't fix myself. I tried to do it before we even got married but I didn't really do anything to fix myself! Now I am married and its already falling apart. Is he as bad as I think or is it more me over reacting? I am sure its mostly me! Idk how long I can handle this before I run away and just never help myself.

I am filled with rage and sadness so much I can't function! I hate being this way! This to me isn't a blessing from god to make me stronger, its a curse! Where have I gone to? Will I come back? I need a miracle cure that is fast and effective!

[Drev]

I just started the program. One reason is my increasing anger and feelings of guilt. You have to accept that this will take time and each day you can maybe feel a little better. And that at least there is help I used to think nothing could help me.

[mmorse6300]

Well at least I know I am not the only angry one. I know there is something else under this anger. A reason, very well could be my husband not his ex causing so much trouble. I get so mad at him I want to hit him. He is so mean sometimes and is that way on purpose to get my attention cause apparently I am stupid and don't get it or something. I get it I think my brain just shuts off after so many insults. Yep its the new marriage. Will this get any better? Lets hope before it really drives me bonkers. Lots has happened today with us and it just plain sucks!

[allenae9]

I can relate to the anger and guilt. Session four really forces you to look at your expectations. It is a huge task tackling this session for me and I sense it will be for you as well. We both seem to be so lost when it comes to our relationships with people. Good luck to you and keep going with the program. Don't give up even though it seems like it isn't worth it sometimes, it will be.