In the pit ...

[anneb2001]

For the life of me I'll always be amazed when I find myself in the pit of depression. After all these years since 1995 of dealing with the merry go round of ups and downs, I am always floored when I find myself going, "oh I'm having depression again..." The vauge feeling of being "off" settles in my brain and takes several days to finally flatten me and I realize at once, my old chum has found me again. I get my imaginary shovel out, brace myself and dig my way back out of the hole. I'm smarter now, I've learned to counter the symptoms, I talk and walk more, when I'm in the cycle of spinning out of myself. That dull grey cloud that follows me is told to get lost. I speak up and say, "I'm having a bad day, and it will pass." Other's that are close to me at work immediatley pick up on the different person who showed up this morning, and say, "What's wrong?" I tell them I'm having an anxiety day, and it will pass in a day or two. I work, shut my brain up as much as possible, and saturate my day with music, and listen to the CDs I got from Stress Center. There is comfort in knowing that this situation isn't perminante and I'll live to fight another day. I just have to keep moving forward and pass on the temptation to lay in the bed, ignore the clouds & sunshine, or fall into a full blown pity party. I have learned coping skills and I can use them now. I feel like that "replacement" character in a sitcom, called my life, and wait the original to show up. I'll be glad to see her. AB

[meluv3]

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this, but good for you for keeping up the positive self talk as much as you can!! And good for you for not just succumbing to bed no matter how tempting it may be!! I'm "in the pit" so to speak and have my imaginary shovel in hand digging my way out again (I suffer from panic disorder and agoraphobia mainly, but after multiple attacks and being confined to the house the depression hits as well). We can do this!!! (right!?!?) It is worth the fight! Let's keep pressing on!! =) (Just to be completely honest, I am typing from my bed right now because the dizziness and numb feeling has gotten the best of me - right now anyway, but I'm gonna keep pushing!! I am encouraged that you are able to keep working in spite of the depression - even though I can only imagine just how difficult that is for you!)

[Lindalee]

I am in that pit again too. I just realized it when I decided taking a shower was too much work and I would just lay on the couch since I don't HAVE to go anywhere today. I would have trouble finding clean clothes anyway since I haven't done laundry. Then I get angry at myself, how did I let this happen again? Why did I stop exercising, why did I eat the sugar and caffeine, why did I spend the time thinking again about how certain people in my life have let me down repeatedly? But your post has reminded me that being angry at myself will not help me get out of this pit, it will only sink me farther. I need to use the tools I have learned, and start climbing out. I need to take only small steps, but keep repeating them, the thought of the effort to get all the way out of the pit is too overwhelming, but I know if I take just small actions in the right direction and keep repeating them, I will make progress.

[meluv3]

Hi, how are you guys doing now!? I was pretty much bedridden from the scary symptoms for a couple weeks and am now making some progress ... it is so s.l.o.w. and really difficult, but I'm trying to remain positive! Getting outta this mess does seem SO overwhelming and the self doubt and hopeless feelings sure don't help. Hope you seeing some progress ... that is always encouraging ... even if it doesn't happen fast enough!