scared to no end

[lucy knepp]

Hello there!
I hope things look up for you. You deserve to be happy. You are a good person. Keep trying to reach Emily. Remember to talk with your brothers. They may be more help to you now than your dad.
Don't give up
Lucy

[tjzaxxer]

hey people, my family is basically a complete joke to me: they are NEVER there for me, they dont think of me as a good person/kid; im basically THE worst child there ever was and will be in jail for anything i do at all!! nobody knows how that is because they all have better lives than me; even that bitch of an ex of mine has a better life and you know your life is a nightmare come to life when your ex has a better life than you. Emily and my other friend we (at my school) nicknamed Ruby i feel are the only ones who understand me at all. i have soo many thoughts right now, but i can only trust Emily and/or Ruby with what i say these days. i just want to cry right now and want to run away from home. please give advice quickly. from the soon to be called Zackary Johnathan Sonitar

[lucy knepp]

Well.............looks like you are having a BAD day!
Timothy, calm down. Your life can't be that bad. You should here about mine when I was young. Ask anyone on mini chat about their young life experiences.............I bet they had some BAD times. Speaking from experience, please, please, please don't rely on Emily to help you (if she is 16 or 65 ) it doesn't matter. No one can really be your best friend unless you have known them for about at least 2 years. I have friends I have known over 20 years and guess what.......I still can't count on them 100 %. The only one who will DIE for you is your mother (a mother will die for her child no matter how bad or screwed up or abnormal they are, but a child will not die for their mother)! But it's okay...mother's don't expect them to.
Please , please, please......................... I like your new name by the way. I am here for you but once again....remember......only a mother will die for you.
Lucy
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

[tjzaxxer]

hey lucy. i believe you when it comes to the mother for the child and that i cant rely on Emily that much. im just soo lost within myself that i cant find anything that is "right" anymore. im beyond enraged these days and i dont know a way to vent it out besides writing my stories. and are you serious about you liking my name that i want to change to??? please respond... that means anybody!! from (hopefully soon to be named) Zackary Johnathan Sonitar

[lucy knepp]

hey there Timothy
I like the name......I do!
I want to hold you in my arms and hug you little one. You be brave now....you have plenty of time for a good woman in your life. My husband and I have been married 36 years as of this past June 5th. The glue that held us together besides both being so insecure that we are afraid to leave each other and be alone is that we both knew going into the marriage that we shared the same basic moral standards. We had certain lines we knew should not be crossed and we stuck to it.
God Bless you always and bring you peace Zachary Jonathan Sonitar! (remember God lives)
Sorry to sound like a religious fanatic or Jesus freak like they used to say back in my day but I am sincere!
Lucy from the Burgh

[tjzaxxer]

hey lucy. im sooo glad that somebody likes my name; to tell the truth, i dont like my real name- timothy james grabowski. i havent told anybody outside of this site what im thinking of doing with my name. i want to tell somebody that can give me some serious advice: not like my friend Ryan (taco man) or Kyle, but maybe just maybe Emily. im not going to tell my parents my plan because if i do, they will know where i live and come see me and criticize me about anything possible, but i CAN trust only a small handful of my large group of friends. in fact im going to ask Emily what she thinks of my "new name" in a few minutes. wish me luck... Zack Sonitar

[lucy knepp]

Good Luck!
Where did you come up with that name anyway? Just wondering what made you choose it! Hope Emily likes it! Stay strong and remember what I said about making the right choices in life. You will be glad you did later on in years.
Have a good day now......at least try to like I am going to try.
I'm going to the amusement park I used to go to when I was a kid. It'll be fun to see my sister again. You don't realize how much you miss things and people in your past until you are away from them. I guess it's true....you don't know what you have until it's gone. I've been missing my mom and dad a lot. I wish I could see them just one more time. I would tell them I love them and how sorry I am I didn't spend more time with them. I know they are happy now up in heaven. They look down at me and say, Lucille...why are you sad? Don't you know we are so happy up here. Stop worrying and live your life and be happy and we will see you soon.
Take care my little Timothy and God Bless You! (he is with you always)
Lucy

[tjzaxxer]

hey lucy. the way i got my idea for my new name is a long story. to put it short, Zackary: i got from my characters name Zaxxer. Johnathan: i just decided to stick with the middle initial "J". Sonitar: i have no idea how i came up with that last name; i think it was also from my characters name Zaxxer Sonitar, but i just wanted to get rid of the last name so my parents wouldnt know who i am. thats all for now. Zackary Johnathan Sonitar

[lucy knepp]

I might rethink that one buddy boy! Changing your name isn't a bad thing but you still have to stay in touch with family. Hey...family is all we got! Seriously, as I get older I realize it's true. Trust me on this one. I saw my sister today and she feels the same way. My sister is a lawyer and my brother is the President of a hospital in Florida. They LOVE me so much eventhough they are so busy. But they both said they want us all to see eachother more .
Oh no, my sister in grad school signed all her papers and told everyone her name was Sandra because she didn't like her name but my mother saw a school paper she brought home and said who is sandra! Ha Ha Anyway she likes her name now. She still struggles with anger issues about some things in our childhood. But our parents didn't abuse us. They just came from another generation during the depression and so didn't encourage us to go to college. We had to pay our way through school.
Anyway, not good to harbor bad feelings. Forgive LOVE
Lucy
Love and God Bless

[tjzaxxer]

hey lucy. not to knock you down or anything, but my family thinks of me as just a "test subject" to show my brothers whats right to do and whats not; though i feel like im only in this family to show my brothers the "do nots" in life which brings me to a whole new level of emotion. im always feeling unwanted by everybody: my parents, my brothers, and even my friends. my family says they love me, but i beg to differ. my dad treats me like im an animal waiting to be put in its cage. my brothers all HATE me. my mom was my go-to person before my dad pissed her off and now shes not the same (theres no abuse if thats what you are thinking). my friends are even wanting to get away from me and i dont know why. if you feel you still dont know completely why i want to change my name then please just reply or pm me. Zackary Johnathan Sonitar