belonging...

[Dixiesmom]

Have you ever felt that you just don't belong...anywhere? I am struggling through that right now. Not sure why. It's not like anything has recently changed. I live where I don't have family, not that my family is close anyway. I don't have any real friends. I know 2 or 3 people enough to say hi and carry a very short conversation with, but that is it. At church, I even feel like I am on the sidelines - and was put there quite literally when my husband and I tried to join the church volleyball team for fellowship. I am a stay at home mom and I did join a MOPS group, but being older than most moms, I just didn't fit in. Normally, this hasn't bothered me, but I am struggling with it right now. Wondering if and when I will ever find a place that I belong....

[lucy knepp]

Don't feel discouraged. You are not alone. Including me, I think many other people have felt or still feel that way. Stay with the program and talk with the people in mini chat. It helped me
Lucy

[Iwillbebetter]

Nice to see there are others that feel this way!! For me though, I have just "learned to live with it" as that is something I have felt since a VERY young age. I think I am finding for me, part of my problem is not being comfortable with me. It's hard to feel comfortable with/around others when you don't feel comfortable with yourself. I think the more I work on me, the more I will feel as though I fit in. I think somewhere in the back of my head I feel I am different, and I let it out in that way.

[Dixiesmom]

Lucy and I will be better,

Thank you for responding. I know that I'm not alone feeling like that, but it sure did help to actually hear that others feel the same. I will continue to stay with the program and work on being more confident and comfortable with who I am. I will be better, I agree that I am not comfortable with myself and that has probably held me back and that I probably let it show. I also agree that on the whole this is something that I have learned to live with, but for some reason, it was bothering me. I guess it's that occasional need to really be able to talk with another adult or get out and do something, even if it wasn't much. I have also tried the mini-chat on here, but the last several times I've gotten on, nobody has been on. I know that things will improve, if not in actually making friends, then in my self-confidence and acceptance. Thanks for your replies!

[lucy knepp]

Hello again!

I was going through the forums. It does help. I saw that you wrote today. I am glad to hear your positive attitude. I know that's what we have to do....push away negative thinking. Love ourselves for who we are. Even if a person never accomplished one thing in their life ( I'm sure there's always one thing we can find about ourselves that is an accomplishment) but even if there wasn't even one achievement we still can be proud that we are survivors (not the phony tv show people, but real survivors). I need to remind myself this everyday since I am one of those who need validation, approval from others. Many times I live my life through other people......I read autobiographies of famous people ....No wonder I'm depressed or feel inadequate. Anyone would feel like an under achiever reading all their credentials and achievements. I am working on being happy with myself, and forget that I didn't fit in with any crowd in high school or throughout life. Their loss So I wasn't a cheerleader or president of a club. This is the first day of the rest of my life and I want to be a part of IT!
Love
Lucy

[Iwillbebetter]

dixiesmom, i know what you mean, about sometimes just needed to hear someone else feels the same. Deep down we know it, but to actually hear from them means so much more!! I had actually been feeling that a bit lately although I had learned to live with it a long time ago, I think a lot of those things I learned to "live with" are coming to surface, and finally starting to bother me in I am realizing that I should not have to "just live with it". but only I can do what I need to "change it".

Lucy,
I just have to comment, Yea I would take a break from reading the autobiographies for a little while I use to have a friend who always watched stuff about the rich/famous people... I never wanted to watch, for just that reason, it almost seemed depressing to me!! I never really realized why until reading your post
Glad to hear you are working on being happy with yourself, I know that is something I struggle with myself But it can be done, the more we work at it, the better it will get