so depressed i cant find my "true self"

[tjzaxxer]

hey people... my mind isnt wat it used to be ever since that day... i have been feeling almost completely drained of energy, my ma isnt to happy with me cuz im not doing much to help around the house... just been lousy... my "darkest" side is about to show its full potential... this is a horrible time for me... my life is about to become a living hell if i dont get my emotions under control... please: somebody help me... tim

[LyndaLu]

Tim,
How R U ?
Lynda

[tjzaxxer]

im not doing so good... the reason is cuz of the incident with my ex about a week or 2 ago... if im at school on friday nd we r told that we have to work together... well it will be a hell of a day... im planning to knock some heads off, especially hers on that day... that day, my school is "celebrating earth day"... they r actually making us work our asses off with no pay, possibly no breaks, barely ne food to eat that day nd water that we have to by to drink, they r even getting the elementary school kids to do the work... THEY CANT DO THAT!!!! thats called child labor nd they didnt even get ne of us kids to sign a slip saying that we would do this... my school says that they r therapeutic, but thats all a bunch of crap... if ne body is interested in knowing what school im talking about its "acacia academy" nd its in la grange on willow springs road... if somebody doesnt do something before that day, then there WILL be hell breaking loose ... somebody do something... PLEASE!!! tim

[tjzaxxer]

hey people that read this... i got good news nd more good news... first the my ex nd i r finally back to good terms with each other nd second one goes with the first... my rage level has gone from beyond a 10/10 to close to a 1/10... which is still good considering the hell i have been through lately... im just glad that we r at least friends again... well thats all i got for now... i havent gotten to sleep yet nd i cant think of ne other news... somebody please talk to me... tim

[lucy knepp]

Hi there

Hey.........I am happy for you! COOL! I like to hear you happy. Guess what? I was anxious and down tonight. Knew I wasn't going to be able to sleep right away. I saw a photo of myself taken in 1995. I looked great. Grabbed my digital camera and took a pic of me..........almost cried. Looked old. Then I got an idea. Went into the bathroom, brushed my hair, put on some makeup (and a smile). Spent the next 45 mins taking photos of myself (different poses) and I looked GREAT! The smile was the best part! I've never done this before but I am going to recommend it to people feeling old like I was.
Talk with you again. Stay happy (easier said than done)!!!
Lucy

[LyndaLu]

hey people that read this... i got good news nd more good news... first the my ex nd i r finally back to good terms with each other nd second one goes with the first... my rage level has gone from beyond a 10/10 to close to a 1/10... which is still good considering the hell i have been through lately... im just glad that we r at least friends again... well thats all i got for now... i havent gotten to sleep yet nd i cant think of ne other news... somebody please talk to me... tim

I am so glad to see that you are working things out. I am happy to hear that your rage level is down to a 1/10 and that
nothing bad happened because of the rage you were feeling. I don't know of any advice I could give you except to
"hang in there" and things will get better. Everything you are feeling is perfectly normal, life is full of ups and downs.
Just writing on the website can be very therapeutic and can help relieve the stress of what you are going through.
Keep us posted on all of your future success stories, you are doing such a great job !
Lynda

[Iwillbebetter]

I know I haven't been on for a few weeks, and missed a bit of what's going on. Glad to hear you are on a good note now I know how hard that "rage" can be to deal with. that is something I deal with at times also. I am working at it. I think the hardest part is trying to stop myself before I get to the "rage" point.

[LyndaLu]

dear iwillbebetter:
Welcome back !
Rage has never been my issue, although I have become quite angry in the past about a few things.
My issue is depression and anxiety, with emphasis, I believe, on the depression part.
I hope your move went well. Are you still going to church ?
Keep in touch and stay strong,
Lynda

[tjzaxxer]

hey people... my week so far can be put into simple words "it SUCKS"... my rage level is going out of control... my youngest brother of 11 years is sick and we dont know with what yet... tho he was partially dehidrated(cuz he gained color back to his face when they gave him 2 bags of water at the ER)... my whole body is either: burnt, bruised, cut, aching from whatever, or just in PAIN... my body is reacting badly to basically everything... if ne body wants to contact me email me at ne of these: timothygrabowski@aol.com (not recommended) tjzaxxer@gmail.com tjzaxxer@yahoo.com

[lucy knepp]

Hey there tj
Sounds like you need to see a doctor. What is going on there! I am sorry about your younger brother but I hope you get fixed up there buddy. Remember we are thinking about you. God be with you. You are going through some heavy stuff.
Hang in there. Remember to trust the people around you who truly care meaning your mom and dad, church, and Drs.
Lucy