Re: How Badly has Depression affected or screwed up your Lif
Posted: Sat May 26, 2012 7:36 am
Lynda and Lucy - Thank u for your replies. Your input means a lot to me as these posts/forums are a significant part of my recovery. Even if (when) I fully recover and get 'happy' again, doing this will always be important to me.
Lynda, my reduced mental functioning does disturb me as a part of it may be permanent, but I have read or been told that the brain can always make new connections if we exercise/use it and practice positive thinking. I'm glad u didnt commit suicide 5 yrs ago (as am I 4 or 2 yrs ago) because u have played a significant role here on these forums and I am sure ur input has helped, maybe even saved, some ppl here.
I can see with everything I have gone thru the last 4, and even 12 years, that I will not be able to do the same things when I do return to work and it will be like starting over again after a good 20 year career, which is discouraging, but at least it is going to be a start. I realize I am not the same person anymore, but I hope the new me can leave a mark, somewhere, somehow. I have not had the courage to tell my family exactly how I feel and think as I think it would be hard on them, and they would not understand what happened and why. My physical health is still good, but my mental health is shaky at best. With the issues u face, I can see it being hard trying to figure out what to do in ur life at this point. I have realized in the past few months that an improved mental health is paramount if I am going to try to get things done in other parts of my life. So if I could suggest that, work on how u think and feel first, and as u get better and recover, u will be in a much better and stronger position to tackle the other important issues and challenges.
You are being overwhelmed by so many issues - try to take one issue at a time, one step and one day at a time. Also, along the way, be kind to and patient with yourself. It has taken some time to get to this point and mental state, so it will take time to bounce back and recover. Just dont ever give up. I know it seems easier that way, but that is not the way to live life, as I also did that, being so discouraged for so long, and recently decided to do what I can to regain my life again. Sometimes we need to face that scary darkness in order to fight, survive, and see the light. Consider these quotes - "When you stand with your back to the sun, your shadow is before you; but when you turn and face the sun, then your shadow falls behind you." ~ Hazrat Inayat Khan. ...and from the song: "I can see clearly now, the rain is gone, I can see all obstacles in my way. Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind. It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright) Sun-Shiny day. I think I can make it now, the pain is gone. All of the bad feelings have disappeared. Here is the rainbow I’ve been prayin for. ..Look all around, there’s nothin but blue skies" I hope we will all be able to rid ourselves of the rain and dark clouds and to find that rainbow and to see clearly again!!
Please keep in touch and feel free to ramble on, if it helps u to release some of the negative thoughts, and esp if u have positive thoughts and experiences, no matter how small or insignificant they may seem, that can help and inspire ppl in these forums. Like u said, no more focusing on the neg anniversaries, or thoughts and feelings. Lets look and move forward to pos thoughts and creating positive things to celebrate! Not only will next year be a better year, but lets make next month and next week better too!
Lynda, my reduced mental functioning does disturb me as a part of it may be permanent, but I have read or been told that the brain can always make new connections if we exercise/use it and practice positive thinking. I'm glad u didnt commit suicide 5 yrs ago (as am I 4 or 2 yrs ago) because u have played a significant role here on these forums and I am sure ur input has helped, maybe even saved, some ppl here.
I can see with everything I have gone thru the last 4, and even 12 years, that I will not be able to do the same things when I do return to work and it will be like starting over again after a good 20 year career, which is discouraging, but at least it is going to be a start. I realize I am not the same person anymore, but I hope the new me can leave a mark, somewhere, somehow. I have not had the courage to tell my family exactly how I feel and think as I think it would be hard on them, and they would not understand what happened and why. My physical health is still good, but my mental health is shaky at best. With the issues u face, I can see it being hard trying to figure out what to do in ur life at this point. I have realized in the past few months that an improved mental health is paramount if I am going to try to get things done in other parts of my life. So if I could suggest that, work on how u think and feel first, and as u get better and recover, u will be in a much better and stronger position to tackle the other important issues and challenges.
You are being overwhelmed by so many issues - try to take one issue at a time, one step and one day at a time. Also, along the way, be kind to and patient with yourself. It has taken some time to get to this point and mental state, so it will take time to bounce back and recover. Just dont ever give up. I know it seems easier that way, but that is not the way to live life, as I also did that, being so discouraged for so long, and recently decided to do what I can to regain my life again. Sometimes we need to face that scary darkness in order to fight, survive, and see the light. Consider these quotes - "When you stand with your back to the sun, your shadow is before you; but when you turn and face the sun, then your shadow falls behind you." ~ Hazrat Inayat Khan. ...and from the song: "I can see clearly now, the rain is gone, I can see all obstacles in my way. Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind. It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright) Sun-Shiny day. I think I can make it now, the pain is gone. All of the bad feelings have disappeared. Here is the rainbow I’ve been prayin for. ..Look all around, there’s nothin but blue skies" I hope we will all be able to rid ourselves of the rain and dark clouds and to find that rainbow and to see clearly again!!
Please keep in touch and feel free to ramble on, if it helps u to release some of the negative thoughts, and esp if u have positive thoughts and experiences, no matter how small or insignificant they may seem, that can help and inspire ppl in these forums. Like u said, no more focusing on the neg anniversaries, or thoughts and feelings. Lets look and move forward to pos thoughts and creating positive things to celebrate! Not only will next year be a better year, but lets make next month and next week better too!