I understand why people commit suiside
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buckskingirl
- Posts: 2
- Joined: Wed Sep 07, 2011 9:36 pm
I understand why people commit suiside
I feel so bad that my husband has to deal with all that I am going through. He is becoming distant and he does NOT understand what I am going thur. My kids do not deservive having to go thur this either. What do I do........
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MrCleveland
- Posts: 111
- Joined: Fri Nov 23, 2007 8:10 pm
Re: I understand why people commit suiside
I feel the same way...
I feel that everyone's life is more important than mine, everyone's future is more important than mine, and everyone's purpose is more important than mine.
I just want to die right now since I have NO future, NO life, and NO purpose!
I feel that everyone's life is more important than mine, everyone's future is more important than mine, and everyone's purpose is more important than mine.
I just want to die right now since I have NO future, NO life, and NO purpose!
Re: I understand why people commit suiside
Whoa! Feeling that way is what depression is all about. Its the illness that makes you feel that was although that may be little or no consolation when you're there. Know that you had times when you were not depressed and felt good or OK. You can get back there.
Re: I understand why people commit suiside
I feel the same way as quetz. I also think suicide is a selfish thing for people to do because the ones that are left are the ones that suffer. Many are left thinking that it was their fault or they didn't do enough to prevent it, & they have to live with that the rest of their lives. It's especially hard if there are younger children or teenagers involved. Later on in life, they may think it's ok for them to do it because one of their parents did it. If anyone is even thinking this, you need to tell your doctor or therapist about these thoughts immediately! I have unfortunately dealt with this twice in my life. Back in the early 70's, I had a friend that killed himself. His parents had sent him to military school & while he was home one weekend, he told several of his friends, including me, how miserable he was & that he wanted to kill himself. None of us believed him, just blew him off, & I didn't think anything else about it. The day before he was supposed to go back to school, his parents couldn't find him. They called everyone they knew, & no one had seen him. They found him the next day in the woods behind their house & he had shot himself in the head. I often wondered then if I had gone to his parents & told them what he had said if it would have made a difference. Because I kept quiet, I'll never know & I wondered if him telling friends was his way of reaching out for help that he didn't get.
My father also tried to kill himself, but thank God, didn't succeed. He was then & is still now, at 83, an alcoholic. I was in my 20's & not living at home at the time. One night he went out to play cards like he always did every Wed night & always got home around 3 in the morning. About 3:30,my mother heard the car running in the garage, but it didn't cut off. She went down & found him passed out in the front seat. The garage door was closed & he had stuffed the tailpipe with a cloth. She called one of their good friends who was a doctor & lived just around the corner, so he was able to get there quickly. They took him to the local hospital & he was then sent to a mental facility in another town where he spent a month there. I have never heard him say why he tried to do this, & since that time it has never been discussed in my family. Maybe we made a mistake in not doing that. The only thing I have ever heard him say that even came close to discussing this was that it's much better to be alive because when you're dead, you're nothing. I don't believe this because I'm a Christian & I know there can be nothing better than being with God & Jesus in heaven, but I also know God & Jesus want us to have a good life on this earth & when we die, it should be on their timetable, not ours. Even as a Christian, I'm not sure if you take your own life that you will be able to go to heaven when you die. If anyone knows the answer to this one, let me know. Sorry I made this so long, but I needed to get it out of my system because I've seen other posts about suicide & it shouldn't happen.
My father also tried to kill himself, but thank God, didn't succeed. He was then & is still now, at 83, an alcoholic. I was in my 20's & not living at home at the time. One night he went out to play cards like he always did every Wed night & always got home around 3 in the morning. About 3:30,my mother heard the car running in the garage, but it didn't cut off. She went down & found him passed out in the front seat. The garage door was closed & he had stuffed the tailpipe with a cloth. She called one of their good friends who was a doctor & lived just around the corner, so he was able to get there quickly. They took him to the local hospital & he was then sent to a mental facility in another town where he spent a month there. I have never heard him say why he tried to do this, & since that time it has never been discussed in my family. Maybe we made a mistake in not doing that. The only thing I have ever heard him say that even came close to discussing this was that it's much better to be alive because when you're dead, you're nothing. I don't believe this because I'm a Christian & I know there can be nothing better than being with God & Jesus in heaven, but I also know God & Jesus want us to have a good life on this earth & when we die, it should be on their timetable, not ours. Even as a Christian, I'm not sure if you take your own life that you will be able to go to heaven when you die. If anyone knows the answer to this one, let me know. Sorry I made this so long, but I needed to get it out of my system because I've seen other posts about suicide & it shouldn't happen.
Re: I understand why people commit suiside
Sometimes I say those same negative words to myself. Now I'm trying to replace all negative talk (we all talk to ourselves) and thoughts with something positive. It's not easy...especially since I've been beating myself up with words for so long. ie "I'm a complete failure," "I suck'"...ect.
I also remind myself that what I do affects others not just ME.
Chess
I also remind myself that what I do affects others not just ME.
Chess
Re: I understand why people commit suiside
Hello friend, life does have a purpose and what a wonderful purpose it is. We humans were not created like animals but we were created with a spiritual need and that need has to be fed and nourished daily. This will not end your depression but at least it will help by giving you a purpose in life.MrCleveland wrote:I feel the same way...
I feel that everyone's life is more important than mine, everyone's future is more important than mine, and everyone's purpose is more important than mine.
I just want to die right now since I have NO future, NO life, and NO purpose!
Chess
Re: I understand why people commit suiside
This is an interesting topic, so I'm bringing it back to 2012 here. Also, I'm new here. 
I also completely understand why people commit suicide, and it's absolutely distasteful when someone says that it is "the most selfish thing." You don't get it. Which is likely good for you! But it is a disease of the mind and has absolutely nothing to do with selfishness. When you're that deep in the darkness, there is no light. You're completely alone, so have no one else to consider. It's not selfish; it's survival. That said, I'm not advocating it. That's just how it feels to be that alone.
I've suffered from mild/moderate depression my entire life. I can remember feeling very alone at the mere age of 5. About 25 years later, I am finally seeking help. I remember thinking about killing myself in my teens, but then a second cousin "beat me to it," and the funeral was awful. I felt so terrible for his whole family. It seemed so out of the blue. He was in high school, a very popular kid, talented, athletic, on the football team, good grades, etc. Seemed like a normal kid. Everyone was amiss at what went wrong. It made me rethink things.
A few years after that, my ex-brother-in-law killed himself, leaving his 9 year old son and 12 year old daughter in his wake. To be honest, my family was not very fond of him. There had been some verbal and mild physical abuse on his behalf. Then the stories of his upbringing came out. His father left him at birth. His mom remarried when he was maybe 2, and his stepdad never loved him. This stepdad had other children, and would encourage them to tease, beat up, and abuse him verbally and physically. His mom stuck with this man. Not surprisingly, he took to the rough side of the street. At the funeral, his step dad whispered to one of his 'real' sons, "I guess I should have beat him harder," and laughed.
I also completely understand why people commit suicide, and it's absolutely distasteful when someone says that it is "the most selfish thing." You don't get it. Which is likely good for you! But it is a disease of the mind and has absolutely nothing to do with selfishness. When you're that deep in the darkness, there is no light. You're completely alone, so have no one else to consider. It's not selfish; it's survival. That said, I'm not advocating it. That's just how it feels to be that alone.
I've suffered from mild/moderate depression my entire life. I can remember feeling very alone at the mere age of 5. About 25 years later, I am finally seeking help. I remember thinking about killing myself in my teens, but then a second cousin "beat me to it," and the funeral was awful. I felt so terrible for his whole family. It seemed so out of the blue. He was in high school, a very popular kid, talented, athletic, on the football team, good grades, etc. Seemed like a normal kid. Everyone was amiss at what went wrong. It made me rethink things.
A few years after that, my ex-brother-in-law killed himself, leaving his 9 year old son and 12 year old daughter in his wake. To be honest, my family was not very fond of him. There had been some verbal and mild physical abuse on his behalf. Then the stories of his upbringing came out. His father left him at birth. His mom remarried when he was maybe 2, and his stepdad never loved him. This stepdad had other children, and would encourage them to tease, beat up, and abuse him verbally and physically. His mom stuck with this man. Not surprisingly, he took to the rough side of the street. At the funeral, his step dad whispered to one of his 'real' sons, "I guess I should have beat him harder," and laughed.
Last edited by rawrsalot on Sat Aug 18, 2012 11:13 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Re: I understand why people commit suiside
(continuation...)
Despite all this, it was only 3 years ago that I came home from a really awful day at work. As I was walking into my apt, towards the bathroom, I imagined slitting my wrist. I imagined a tang of pain as I cut the skin, and I saw/imagined (vividly) the blood trickle slowly down my arm—and it gave me the greatest, most euphoric sense of relief I have ever felt in my life.
So, naturally, that freaked me out. Holy shit! Did I just get the greatest, most satisfying feeling from thinking about killing myself?!?! Um, we've got problems my dear...
THEN! Yes, it continues. My niece (the one who's dad committed suicide), now 14, was bring driven to school by my sister, her mom, and said something about wanting to kill herself. They've all been in counseling since the Dad died, so my sister immediately took it 100% seriously (good for her!) and drove straight to the ER. My niece was there for about a week before she was discharged. She seems in much better spirits, though she did before as well. She has a good head on her shoulders, but, likely because of her family life, is having a hard time fitting into a good crowd in HS.
So. Despite sometimes feeling like it would make all the pain go away, I could never, ever leave her like that.
Which brings me to StressCenter. Wish me luck!
Despite all this, it was only 3 years ago that I came home from a really awful day at work. As I was walking into my apt, towards the bathroom, I imagined slitting my wrist. I imagined a tang of pain as I cut the skin, and I saw/imagined (vividly) the blood trickle slowly down my arm—and it gave me the greatest, most euphoric sense of relief I have ever felt in my life.
So, naturally, that freaked me out. Holy shit! Did I just get the greatest, most satisfying feeling from thinking about killing myself?!?! Um, we've got problems my dear...
THEN! Yes, it continues. My niece (the one who's dad committed suicide), now 14, was bring driven to school by my sister, her mom, and said something about wanting to kill herself. They've all been in counseling since the Dad died, so my sister immediately took it 100% seriously (good for her!) and drove straight to the ER. My niece was there for about a week before she was discharged. She seems in much better spirits, though she did before as well. She has a good head on her shoulders, but, likely because of her family life, is having a hard time fitting into a good crowd in HS.
So. Despite sometimes feeling like it would make all the pain go away, I could never, ever leave her like that.
Which brings me to StressCenter.
Wish me luck!