Hi...I'm new and here's a little info about me

[tanap]

My name is Tana and I have been suffering with depression for about a year now. I attended an immersion cognitive behavioral program in Loma Linda, CA in the fall but at the end of 5 weeks I had to have ECTs and have now forgotten and have no memory of that experience at all. I was having ECTs every two weeks up until about 5 weeks ago and have now found some medication where I am feeling a bit better but still struggling at times. The ECTs have made it so my memory is not good and I have little memory of the last year. I am scared to death of going back to that dark place where there was no hope...just complete darkness. But I am working hard with my cbt therapy and have just started these CD's and am on #2. I am praying that it will be the answer in getting my confidence back and working through the sadness and not feeling so much anxiety about all of this. I get sad and just get so scared...there is such fear inside of me that I am trying to deal with. I feel thankful for this site and look forward to getting to know some of you and would appreciate any advice you have to help me deal with the fear and sadness that come with my depression. Thank you so much...

[Paisleegreen]

Welcome! You will find the help you need here! I did! I'm glad you have the program, I didn't have it when I first started but had been through Dr David Burns 10 Steps to Self Esteem Workbook along with a Psychologist and was able to wean myself off of anti-depressants. So CBT works, but as you say it is not easy. I know what it is like to be scared and be in a dark hole that you feel you can't get out of. I hope you will find the help you need here. Paislee

[tanap]

Thank you, Paislee. I appreciate your response. I am hoping that this program will be the answer to my prayers!!! Thanks again!!!

[Paisleegreen]

It has definitely answered my prayers. I'll be looking forward to your postings or reports. Paislee

[noble]

Well here goes...I am on Lesson 2 of the program and have already found a huge amount of relief in the symptoms of anxietyI The program has been sitting on a shelf in my home for about 4 yrs. !!! My daughter had bought it for me and I just could not motivate my depressed self to even open it! Two weeks ago (this Wed.) I had hit rock bottom. I had been in a state of anxiety for 4 days with no relief of the symptoms! I would rate the feelings at a 9 (if 10 is a full blown attack) I have never been on line like this before and can hardly believe I am now. I am also suffering from terrible depression. My story sounds much like all others who suffer from this terrible state of mind. I pray that Lucinda's program can help someone so far gone with depression as I am. Barbara in Texas

[Paisleegreen]

Welcome, Noble, I'm glad you have opened up your program and started. I also hope that we will be able to help you while you work through what is bothering you. I've come a long way myself and I'm getting better day by day as I work on what is bringing me some of my anxiety. Paislee

[noble]

Thank you for your reply. I am still very excited about the program and hopeful. I have not , for many years tried to get help because I was raised that will power is how to achieve our goals and needing help is a weakness. But I believe this program is a combination of both. The program requires the strength from the program itself plus the will power to work at it every day. That is clearly the only way the program will be successful. I do feel it is for me.

[Paisleegreen]

HI Noble, you are going to do great!

[noble]

I am so excited! I started Lesson 3 yesterday and find myself actually having great success with countering my negative thinking. I cannot imagine there being a more negative thinker than me. In fact, I have hated myself for so long and for so many reasons but it is like being given permission to feel so imperfect that I am starting to see myself as worthy. I mean I won't do anything for me hardly but will do everything for others. I just cannot put this into words very well but doing my best is good enough! I would have thought that turning my neg. thoughts into positive one's would have been very difficult but I am gobbling up this help, it is like a miracle for me. Thank God.

[Paisleegreen]

Hip, Hip, Hooray! Way to go! I'm so happy for you. Yes, you need to do things for yourself! It is amazing how positive dialog can really help one change the way they feel about themselves. Keep up the good work! Paislee