Hi everybody. I've been on here for a few years, most of which if not all I've been in college for. In december I graduated from grad school, and in January I got a full-time job. Everything was going really good, and I was actually excited, happy and in a good mood about pretty much everything. I had some misc expenses before I got the job but I dealt with them fine since I had money from my internship.
Since last march I have been in a relationship with a girl that has been kinda bouncy with little ups and downs here and there. Still though, I had been really in a good mood about everything and optimistic about life in general.
However, in january I got in a car accident that was actually really minor, I didn't get hurt at all but my car's bumper was knocked off and I had to put it in a collision repair center to get fixed. I have a 97 saturn though, so it was in there for 2 months.
For a little while after that accident I didn't have a car at all, but I did have the assistance of my girlfriend so I could get around and do stuff. However, for some reason I just was having like a nervous/emotional breakdown. I was just thinking of how I'm up here in PA while my familys in NJ, and I just felt alone even though I had my g/f, and I was just constantly getting emotional.
Also, I had come off of medication (I was on zoloft 50 mg a day) in December or January, and I'm guessing this maybe had something to do with the severity of my emotions. But I did gradually withdrawal, so I'm not sure.
After I got my car back which was pretty recent, I did feel a little better, but recently things have been getting to me a lot. Like just the last couple weeks I've started feeling weird about being in a long-term relationship, like that I don't wanna feel stuck or something, and marriage and buying a house and all that is kinda scary right now.
Also, I have student loan payments that started a month or two ago, and the prospect of being stuck to paying these off is bugging me. Basically, my whole problem is that I don't like feeling stuck. Even in my job which is a pretty cool job, it's a remote job so I can do it from home, it's in instructional design. But lately I've been feeling like stuck in everything in life. Stuck in paying off my loans, stuck in my job, stuck in a relationship. It's been really weird since just a few months ago everything was a lot better. I've been feeling depressed, anxious at times too. The relationship stuff is hard and stresses me out too, but I do love her and we have had lots of good times and we still do have fun, but mostly on the weekends since during the week I'm just not in as good of a mood for some reason. Can anybody relate to this?
I had been thinking of seeing a therapist/getting on medication again, but my g/f doesn't like the idea of it, and although she says I should do what I think I need to, thats an issue since I don't want her to be upset about that. Don't get me wrong though, I do love her and we love eachother. She just doesn't always understand my anxiety and depression. That has been an issue for a little while, although she can be really comforting and loving at times, other times she gets frustrated and doesn't know what to do. Really I can't blame her too much. Sorry about the length of this, and I'm probably missing other details too.
student loan, relationship, new job worries
Re: student loan, relationship, new job worries
I understand how you feel. My wife sometimes gets frustrated with me even if she loves me. i think that they want to help us but they really just don't know how to at times. I think that you should choose what you feel is in your best interest. The issue of therapy and meds is something that only you can decide on. You gf should understand why you are feeling this way and if not maybe you can explain it to her in a nice way. You are feeling a little depression as well you say. Spending too much time at home especially if you work from home can be adding to the depression. You need to get out more and be around people so that you don't feel isolated by being at home for such long periods of times. Whatever you decide to do with the therapy and medication I hope that it all works out for the best.
pauly j
pauly j