Depression and my marriage

[Ashwea]

I'm 36 yrs old and I'm not happy in the marriage i'm in right now. It's making my depression worse as I worry about what my parents and his parents will think of me. I'm scared half out of my mind even though I know divorcing him would be the best thing for us. We've become two different people and I can tell he can't come to terms with it. I tried to confide in my mom and she went behind my back, hinting to him of my near future intentions. I need a friend....someone to talk to...

I'm at wits end here....

[Pauly J]

Hi Ash

Sorry to hear about your relationship troubles! I understand what you are going through! I have been married for 16 years and it has always been a struggle! Don't know why we are still together sometimes! We have 3 kids! I don't know if you have any kids or what! I hope things work out for all of you!


pauly j

[Paisleegreen]

We're here to support you as you work out your problems. I've been married for 33 years and gone through a lot of trials together. I'm working on more things, but I still love my husband, and we are getting marriage counseling with a good Psychologist that specializes in CBT and marriage counseling. He's done wonders so far. Paislee

[SoWhatif]

Your ok and things like this are not that uncommon. Have you talked to your mate about the widening divide.

Maybe find the book "The five love languages" by Gary Chapman. Maybe he would read it wth you.
If you love him and he the same then some renewal and investment into understanding each other may be in order.

Meanwhile lets get you stronger. The time periods you explain I remember where similar. We have now been married 34yrs.
There are still bumps in the road and now it just shakes things instead of launching us in the ditch.

For what it is worth your not alone.

[tommy_riley]

Having come off a 17 year relationship myself (13 of which we were married), it was very difficult to go through. I know my ex-wife felt very distant from me and I had alcohol and drug problems which didn't help. It just really depends on if you think you can talk to your husband and try and work through the issues or not and if you think counciling will help (sometimes it seems like nothing will help, but you have to keep an open mind and at least try - at least in my opinion). I have strong feelings about marriage that it is a commitment and unless there is physical/mental abuse going on then my feelings are things should be at least looked into to work on the relationship. There was a reason you got married in the first place, but there are also very valid reasons for people to get divorced. Just try and take a look at some of the reasons why you first got married and see if there is anything salvagable. If there is not, but you have taken steps to explore this, then at least both of you will have tried and the seperation/divorce may be easier on both of you, if it comes to that.

these are all just my opinions on the matter...