Lonely

highanxiety · Post by **highanxiety** » Fri Oct 08, 2010 5:54 am

I just thought id post on here because I just need to talk to somebody and I want to know I am not the only one in this situation.
I am a 25 year old woman, I have a boyfriend and 1 friend thats married and my family..... And thats IT! These are the only poeple in my life. I have had no friends now since college as they all drifted away so thats what 6years. I feel like such a loser because i stay in every weekend as i have no-one to go out with. My boyfirend is really popular but just 'chooses' not to go out because he is an indoor type.
I am just sad with myself at the prospect of another weekend sat in front of the tv. I am quite a shy person and i find it hard to make conversation with people often because i dont feel like i have anything interesting to talk about. I am also paranoid that i am unlikeable person why does nobody want to talk to me? What did i ever do? My 1 friend which i met through my boyfriend has a small child and doesnt enjoy going out much so most of the time i am alone and wishing that i was out having fun. The trouble is i have not been happy now for what 6 years thats all of my 20s. I have been contemplating taking my own life but i dont want to upset my family and i am scared of the pain but its a pain to be alive. I really am trying to look for a way out. I was trying to think positively a month ago and i plucked up the courage to make a phonecall and phone my pub to join the darts team. Then other days I just think to myself 'thats a bad idea, only sad losers have to look for friends'. My colleagues often ask me what ive been upto at the weekend and i am ashamed to tell them that i have done absolutly nothing. I dont understand whay I am so uncontent and my boyfriend is so content it doesnt make any sense to me. All i wanna do is have a group of girly friends to have a laugh and a giggle with. Im such a loser!

Gerri Ahart · Post by **Gerri Ahart** » Fri Oct 08, 2010 1:22 pm

I am sorry that you are sad- just gonna post because i am too. im lonely too but in a house full of people. i am a stranger to my husband who basically loathes me- and i have been trying to keep myself together for the four kids that we have. they are the reason that i live alothough i know that if i am doing my job as i should they will be independent of me and have their own lives. they are growing so fast and i see them being these amazing people but i don't know how that can be when they have me as their mother and a jackass as a father. i can't stop playing over all the poor decisions that i have made and i don't want to talk to anyone about it. i love to have fun and go hang out with my friends but then as hard as i try i am jealous of everything but mainly because they have people that love them just because. i just want that and i don't think i will. so you are not a loser you have a boyfriend that chooses to stay and hang out with you and your friend with the baby would probably enjoy you coming over and hanging out so she can take a shower or do laundry or read a book while you are there. sometimes it's nice to find a friend that you can just be you with and not have to entertain or be entertained. sorry for the ramble- im in a bad place too.

melmelturkey · Post by **melmelturkey** » Tue Oct 12, 2010 1:20 am

I understand what you are going through. I feel alone all of the time. I am 23 and I have a b/f who feels completely normal all of the time. I don't have friends. It is difficult to get close to people and when you try to explain your paranoia, you just sound crazy. I think our brains are more active than our b/f's. I feel unlikeable too. I cant even look at my coworkers because Im thinking about what they could be thinking about me. I wish I had an off switch or a dim switch for my brain. Don't feel like a loser for finding an activity you like. That sounds like progress to me. I thought of joining the local block watch (for area crime) just to be around people. The good thing about trying to start being social around strangers is that you don't have to see them ever again if you choose. I look normal, my home is decorated well, everything looks rosey on the outside but on the inside im screaming for help and friendship. I know this all sounds negative. but your not alone. lately I have been calling church's and looking for support groups to just deal with life. I think almost everyone has anxiety to some degree... others are just better at hiding it. Don't give up.

SusantheChatterbox · Post by **SusantheChatterbox** » Tue Oct 12, 2010 7:13 am

I feel for you as all my good friends who used to come around all the time and who I used to go out with on the weekend stopped coming around when I stopped going thanks to the Agoraphobia taking over my life. I used to have several girl friends that called or who would come by all the time and now I never hear from them unless I call them. I stopped doing that and now I never hear from them. My true friends who I really enjoy chatting with are here in this group. I have met so many awesome people in the chatroom who have helped me so much. I love hearing the success stories so many have shared there and although I wouldn't wish the Agoraphobia on anyone it helps me to talk to others who know first hand what I am going through. Together we can find our way back to being happy and content again.

God bless and hugs,
Susan

ANGEL2 · Post by **ANGEL2** » Wed Oct 13, 2010 7:19 pm

Dear highanxiety :
My name is Jorge and I'm from Florida.Good job posting your concerns,keep it up.God bless you.

<A HREF="mailto:jrmc88@peoplepc.com">jrmc88@peoplepc.com</A>

Wonderfulight · Post by **Wonderfulight** » Sun Oct 17, 2010 6:21 pm

Hi friends, I'm at the opposite end, being retired and living in a very rural area where nobody is even walking down the street. I was really sad and lonely. I'm shy meeting new people. One day I just said "It's up to me to do something, no-one is going to knock on my door to be friends!" So I attended a painting class at the senior center, once a week, and just made myself go...now I have friends when I paint, that's all we do together, but it's fun, something in common, painting. So the "Dart team" is a good idea, at least you'll have company playing darts! Then I went to a small church in my neighborhood and met a lady who has a horse, she introduced me to her friend who also has a horse...I have a horse...so we talk about horses! We don't do much else together, just visit, but it's made a big difference in my not-so-lonely life now! I love to dance, but won't go out at night alone anymore...haven't found a dancer friend yet. What's the matter with the boyfriends?? Don't they want to have some fun? Boring sitting around every night watching TV. That's for oldsters like me. KICK IN THE @!!. LOL. Don't be disheartened...maybe the boyfriends would join some kind of a club with you. Hope these ideas encourage you all.

ANGEL2 · Post by **ANGEL2** » Sun Oct 17, 2010 7:58 pm

To all the sweet beautiful girls of this forum: GOD BLESS YOU ALL.I really,really wish you the best in your endeavors,good luck in your search for friends.If its some consolation I'm the same as you,only male-not a faggot-but of course I don't want anybody to commit suicide or hurt themselves,THAT is my main motivation in writing to this forum.GOD Bless.

Misty Flatford · Post by **Misty Flatford** » Tue Oct 19, 2010 1:29 am

I just started the program and am dealing with panic attacks on a daily basis. My husband is one of these "no worries" types and life happens so deal with it. But sometimes, I feel like I just can't deal with it. I have had the same thoughts you have. This past weekend all I did was sleep. I didn't want to do anything. I have isolated myself from the few friends that I do have and they seem to have come to the conclusion that I just need to be left alone. I am listening to the anxiety tape now at work (one of my biggest stressors) and am just wondering if anyone else feels alone and that it will never get better. Thanks for listening guys! It is nice to know that I am not alone.

Lori1080 · Post by **Lori1080** » Tue Oct 19, 2010 3:34 am

Highanxiety!!

I know how you feel!! I have been feeling lonely as well!

Basically, I worry constantly about EVERYTHING…I feel depressed as the whole world doesn’t like me…and lately I have been feeling very unhappy…I’m not myself…not the person I used to be…
I get upset, about my Moms health, that all my friends are growing apart from me…half of them are married and some have kids…I’m not even close!!!  It upsets me I’m not there yet…but I hope I will be
I’m 29 years old living with anxiety..depression..you name it!
Did you sign up for this program?
I did, it will be in the mail next week. I’m looking forward to it and hope it will change me for the better!

So you aren’t alone girl!!!

grc47 · Post by **grc47** » Tue Oct 19, 2010 3:48 am

Hi dear friends I am new to the programs and finishing up on the first tape. I have been feeling lonely, having anxiety attacks, and depressed. I have been retired and about 5 months ago I separated from my wife. I feel out of control and I don't have much to do. I have low self esteem and I am not in my home which was my comfort zone. My friends shy away from me because of my separation problems. I trying my best to keep a positive edge on things but it is so hard.