Ready to give up!
Hi my name is Tiffiny and I am 39yrs. old and have suffered from depression my whole life. It was really bad when I was a teen, but despite not getting much support from my family I felt like I conquered it. Until recently, that is. 1 1/2 yrs. ago I lost my job. I've decided to go back to school and it's been a horrible experience. The school is a joke, very expensive, and no better than community ed classes. I'm struggling to make up a pretty good income and am feeling like a complete failure! I have 5 classes to go and am trying to hang on so I can atleast complete my ass. degree. I received my cd's a couple days ago and just started the 3rd one. I was feeling good and positive about it, but had a complete meltdown this am. I am so imbarrassed to say this, but I guess that's why I am here, so here goes. It was all over a new haircut. Yes, I cried over a new haircut! Well, not just cry, but when into a hysteric frenzy over it! My hair was all the way down my back and is super short now and looks horrible. Just when I thought I couldn't feel any worse about myself, I now do! I have put about 20lbs on since I lost my job and now I look even worse with this awful haircut! I'm not the kind of person to cry over a haircut so this is so embarrasing to admit, but it's the whole cycle of how bad I feel about myself! I want to turn my cd's on and listen to them, but I feel as if I've given up at this point! I am so sick of suffering and feeling sorry for myself, but I don't know how to stop it anymore! I've tried everything and am feeling doubtful putting the energy into this will be successful. My hands are shaking as I write this and I'm crying. At the same time I couldn't be more ashamed of how stupid I feel about how pathetic I must sound! Any encouragement about this program would be grateful! Thanks...
First oFf, giving up is not a option. OK?
I made a paragraph but used the poop word so it seems it was confiscated.
Maybe they will be prudent and quick in editing it.
Meanwhile keep seeking forward, After the sticker shock from the new dew wears off and maybe some touch up you be looking good again.
I made a paragraph but used the poop word so it seems it was confiscated.
Maybe they will be prudent and quick in editing it.
Meanwhile keep seeking forward, After the sticker shock from the new dew wears off and maybe some touch up you be looking good again.
Hi Frvr Numb,
Keep in mind a few things:
1. Everybody has a "meltdown" over something that to other people might not seem a big deal. There are things that wouldn't bother you that someone else might flip out over.
2. We people with Panic and Anxiety issues are very harsh on ourselves. Keep in mind that odds are you don't look as bad as you think you do.
3. Things pass. Hair grows back, we can lose weight. These things are very frustrating at the time, and you have a right to feel stressed about them. However, stick with the program becuase I know from experience that it does work. I've been in periods like you where I was ready to give up and the program really helped me. You can do it too.
Good luck. A better day is coming!
Keep in mind a few things:
1. Everybody has a "meltdown" over something that to other people might not seem a big deal. There are things that wouldn't bother you that someone else might flip out over.
2. We people with Panic and Anxiety issues are very harsh on ourselves. Keep in mind that odds are you don't look as bad as you think you do.
3. Things pass. Hair grows back, we can lose weight. These things are very frustrating at the time, and you have a right to feel stressed about them. However, stick with the program becuase I know from experience that it does work. I've been in periods like you where I was ready to give up and the program really helped me. You can do it too.
Good luck. A better day is coming!
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Paisleegreen
- Posts: 1778
- Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:27 pm
Hi--I've been there, after going to college in a different state and my hair was long, I came home during Christmas break a little depressed and had gained 20lbs as well. I cut my hair way short!
Just to have my mother tell me bluntly she didn't like it. And an old boyfriend I dated when it was long, told me he missed the long hair as well.
I then ended up at a different apt when I went back to college, w/ new roommates and feeling terrible about myself. I was pretty low.
Anyway, life went on, things got straightened out and I later discovered that I was suffering partly from S.A.D., was in the wrong Major, and other things. So after some time back at home I lost my weight gain, my hair grew back, got a my own car and I did my Internship I was ready to go back to school away from home.
I didn't gain weight, I was dating, and eventually met my DH and the rest is history.
So it will work out, you'll learn from this trial. I have had some other haircuts later in life when I cried over it. Just to have other people compliment me on them, when I never would have thought I looked good at all.
You hang in there, it will get better, the CDs will really help you as you weather the storm. Keep on posting... Paislee
Just to have my mother tell me bluntly she didn't like it. And an old boyfriend I dated when it was long, told me he missed the long hair as well.
I then ended up at a different apt when I went back to college, w/ new roommates and feeling terrible about myself. I was pretty low.
Anyway, life went on, things got straightened out and I later discovered that I was suffering partly from S.A.D., was in the wrong Major, and other things. So after some time back at home I lost my weight gain, my hair grew back, got a my own car and I did my Internship I was ready to go back to school away from home.
I didn't gain weight, I was dating, and eventually met my DH and the rest is history.
So it will work out, you'll learn from this trial. I have had some other haircuts later in life when I cried over it. Just to have other people compliment me on them, when I never would have thought I looked good at all.
You hang in there, it will get better, the CDs will really help you as you weather the storm.
Keep on posting... Paisleethanks so much for the encouragement and not thinking I was a complete nut! Well, you might have been thinking that, so thanks for not saying so! ha!
Paislee- thanks for sharing your haircut story. I'm feeling much better about it and have gotten many compliments on it, including my husband. I don't really think any of it was really about the hair, but all the many other stresses in my life right now! I listened to session 3 cd a couple days ago and am discovering a great deal about my negative self-talk. When she points out how we sometimes forget to have compassion for ourselves it kind of made me angry! It's so true. I think I am a very compassionate person and I have never really viewed it that way. I'm looking forward to overcoming this depression and am more determined than ever to end it once and for all! Thanks again!
Paislee- thanks for sharing your haircut story. I'm feeling much better about it and have gotten many compliments on it, including my husband. I don't really think any of it was really about the hair, but all the many other stresses in my life right now! I listened to session 3 cd a couple days ago and am discovering a great deal about my negative self-talk. When she points out how we sometimes forget to have compassion for ourselves it kind of made me angry! It's so true. I think I am a very compassionate person and I have never really viewed it that way. I'm looking forward to overcoming this depression and am more determined than ever to end it once and for all! Thanks again!
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Sweetspassion3
- Posts: 7
- Joined: Wed Nov 17, 2010 10:18 am
I couldn't help but notice that you said you were on CD number 3 and just got your package a few days ago. I encourage you to do ONE session per week regardless of the temptation to move forward...theres something about sitting with each lesson during the week and facing how you deal with it. For instance, I think you may have been able to benefit from lesson 1's message with regard to your hair cut...Be patient with yourself...I know you're ready to give up but from where we are, there's no where to go but up~that's the exciting part...
Sweetpassion3, I agree with you about getting ahead. After reading your other post I realized I don't quite have the program all figured out yet. I didn't realize until a couple days ago, that you were suppose to do 1 cd a week. I have an appt. with a coach tomorrow, I'm sure will help me along even further! As for the haircut, of course none of it's really about the haircut, but more about the many stresses in my life! I'm sure no matter what cd I'm on I will still have good and bad days. And your also right about no where to go but up. Thanks!
I'm glad I read this post, I have felt like giving up on myself a bit for the past few days because of some really stressful issues, but recovery is just too important, I am on session 8 and have been and still am doing really pretty awesome all things considered, no matter where we are in the program we are still going to have bad and good days, we just have to take them as learning experiences and be able to move on and not get discouraged!
Don't give up and stay positive, we are all here for you
Don't give up and stay positive, we are all here for you