Obsessing over the past

SweetBee · Post by **SweetBee** » Mon Jan 17, 2011 8:01 pm

Hi, my name is Bri and I've just found this community. I'm a teenage girl, feeling like I'm 90 years old.

Basically, I found a person who encouraged my light to shine through, and to find my true happiness. We became extremely close, and he was my rock. As these stories go, we were very deeply in love and unfortunately, he took on a lot of my emotional baggage. He saw me at my very lowest and was forced to lie to me and call the police in order to prevent me from committing suicide.

Long story short, there is so much emotional depth and day's worth of stories that I can't explain it all. But he left me because he couldn't deal with the heaviness that is always with me. For almost a year, I have been crying nightly and obsessively wishing that I could go back and deal with the problems with myself, because I feel so much guilt that I lost my first love and an intense love because I couldn't cope with it myself. I put too much of a burden on him and lost my entire world. Nothing makes me happy anymore because I've lost my will to get out of bed.

I need help. And have no idea where to start.

SoWhatif · Post by **SoWhatif** » Tue Jan 18, 2011 4:23 am

First off, Hi.
Second is get out of bed and start reaching inside yourself and get some food. Then stop looking back. You know as you stated what happyness can be and what it takes to get there. It is not free and Sorry about the crash of your first love breaking your heart. Your heart is only broken if you let it. Start reading on this site and do not look back.OK

People here will help and encourage. Also checking out is not a option, GOT THAT?

See ya SweetBee, it is time to make some honey for yourself.

Paisleegreen · Post by **Paisleegreen** » Tue Jan 18, 2011 12:25 pm

Hi Bri

Welcome! I agree with SoWhatif, make yourself get out of bed and eat something. See if you can drink some milk and if possible have an egg or tuna fish. That is what keeps me going right now.

Now losing your first Love is very hard indeed, especially at your age, but we all go through it.

But from what you said, you were already depressed before you lost your sweetheart. So you need to address why you are depressed enough to want to take your life. Are you getting some counseling or on any anti-depressant? Keep posting...Paislee