I feel so alone...

KristaM · Post by **KristaM** » Sat Jan 01, 2011 12:36 pm

I've suffered from serious anxiety/depression for many years. The past three years have been worse than ever. Most of the time I literally cannot leave my house. I can barely leave my room. I am overwhelmed by everything and everyone. I can't function. I am 24 and rely on my parents for everything. I've been switched from med to med and therapist to therapist. Truly, nothing or no one seems to help. For over a month, I have been tapering off the new drug, Pristiq. My doctor told me to cut the pill in half for two weeks, and then quarters for three weeks. During this entire time I cannot express the awful feelings I was + still am having- weakness, dizziness, electric shock feelings. I finally stopped taking the 1/4th pill a few days ago and everything is much worse. My doctor isn't listening. He doesn't believe it's associated with the medication because I had tapered down incredibly slowly. Right now, I can't leave my room I'm so dizzy/weak. Nothing has been able to help me. My parents are stressed out- at their wits ends. They are going to send me to a hospital. By the way- my worst fear is going to a mental hospital. I was at one once because my anxiety was out of control. They put me into a mixed unit with people who saw things that wasn't there and heard voices. All being there did was scare the living **** out of me. They released me in less than 2 days because they said mental units are only for people who are a threat to society or themselves and could be of no help to me. I don't know what do to anymore. Therapy + meds aren't helping and obviously not strong enough to help me, but a mental institution doesn't fit my needs either. I feel like I don't want to live anymore. This isn't living. I don't want to kill myself and am afraid of suicide, but I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel so hopeless.

Hope77 · Post by **Hope77** » Sat Jan 01, 2011 2:30 pm

You are not alone! There are many people here that are going through the same thing as you. There are also a lot of people here that are recovered from their depression and anxiety which can give us HOPE. I am in the same spot as you right now. I have not left my house in three months due to panic attacks. I also have the depression. I also have not found a medication that works. I feel hopeless also at times but know that I will get through this. Have you started the program yet? To get over anxiety and depression is definetly a lot of work and determination but it is worth it to start living again. Hang in there you are in my prayers.

struggling Christian · Post by **struggling Christian** » Sat Jan 01, 2011 4:19 pm

I understand your situation. I am 34 and have suffered with the same type situation off and on for 16 years. Right now I am barely functioning. I am on disability due to extreme anxiety and depression as well as migraine headaches. My meds don't seem to be helping but when I try to go off of them I feel even worse. I get really dizzy and feel awful. I don't leave the house much and I lay in bed most of the time. My house is a mess. I don't know what to do either. Last year I was sent to the mental hosptital 4 or 5 times. They didn't help much. I'm scared of suicide too but don't know how to live either. I'm gonna try this program again too. I'm also trying to put my trust in the Lord.

MsKye · Post by **MsKye** » Sun Jan 02, 2011 4:00 am

KristaM, I am very sorry you've been feeling this way. Though I have anxiety and depression myself, your situation breaks my heart. Not to say anyone's story is better or worse. I wish I could reach out to you and help you feel better. Some times I have good days and if I could I would share that with you.
I've only begun this program, but I have high hopes. I have to. I want this to work for me and I hope this works for you.
Is there anything that gives you any hope, excitement and happiness? Anything that might spark a little bit of motivation? If so, that's what I use to get myself started. I love music and though it feels like it won't help me when I'm really down and out, I turn on the radio or pop in a cd anyway and it eventually helps - even if only a little bit. Sometimes we just need a little window of time to slip in something that will make a world of difference.

I wish you the best. And if you don't have any hope then I have hope for you. Give this program all you've got.