I'm lost...again.

[Gallactica9]

I was living in Texas with my husband when I bought the program in Jan. 2007 and it immediatelly gave me a sense of hope. I was doing the program right on schedule. But I stop in Lesson 6 due to family events that occured through out the course of April 07 until May 08: Traveling back and forth to Mexico, my father's illness of cancer, getting separated, the death of my father, legal issues, etc. Then I decided to just start over again, travel, new friends, new job, new attitude and everthing seemed to be going great for me. The first lessons of this program helped me tremendously to cope with all this changes. So, I decided to come back to request a permit to stay longer than a year out of the U.S. and not affect my citizenship, look for a temp job and go back out there. But now, I've been living in California since May with my mother and sister. I'm not accomplishing all the plans I had. I'm broke, I'm not working and not trying very hard to look for a job. I don't have a car. Although I recently got my driving permit, I'll make any excuse not to drive my mom's car. I rarely go out. I try calling my friends to go out, socialize, have fun, but I guess they're too busy and don't respond or when they do, we make plans but they don't show up. I feel bored, like a zombie, I just watch tv or get distracted by doing house chores or excercise. I honestly feel like once again I'm back into this depress mode and my mind is not responding to reality to get back on my feet. I'm glad that I can now logg into the support center to share my experiences and read about others that might be going thru the same situations.

[Guest]

Goor morning --- I understand how you feel....and always remember you are not alone. This community is a great resource, esp the chat areas, where you can talk to people directly. Hang in there and remember we are all here for eachother.!!!

[Guest]

You still have this program?
The only way you will know if your life can change is if you crank out the program, get busy, and do all the homework. This support community is great. But after awhile it's just conversation if you aren't actually doing something to change. If my foot is broken, and I talk to people every day who also have a broken foot, and we compare all the problems we are having, but we never actually get our foot x-rayed, and begin doing the procedure to get it to heal, it will still be a broken foot. Best of luck.

[Guest]

Hi, did you leave your husband? I did what you did in many ways. Thinking I'd "start over" I ended up losing what I had and after all the "new" was over, I'm still me only with a new husband and the same problems. Dealing now with the program, I've learned I love my 1st husband and see the mess I made of my kids lives by breaking our family in two. My new husband is the one who got me the program. I am only now dealing with losses. Stay with the program. Life isn't over and where there is life there is hope right!? I've read about the losses many of us suffered because of our choices because we were depressed and trying to find the answers. The program is going to help you. For me it is God and He is using this program like he uses friends and even my pets here at home. He never changes and He brings truth into my life in many ways. Going through the program is hard because it makes me deal with reality and I see the contrast of what I thought was real and what is. It is the journey of life. We all need to have a little bit of guts each day to learn more. you are not alone.

[Guest]

Hi Pecos, Yes! Absolutely I have the program, it's what gives me motivation I went over the first lessons to catch up to the seventh lesson which is the one I'm working on this week and might still work on it next week too. My biggest challenge is to act and do things. I love to read and the feeling I get when I understand what I read puts a smile on my face and I get exited...but that's it. It's funny how you mentioned the example about the broken foot. It's so right! I recently hurt my right shoulder to the point where I couldn't even take a shower but I forced my self and overcame the pain and went on about my day. Gosh! I should do the same thing with this "pain" in my mind that limits me to do things

And Rose50, yes! I did live my husband. I was married for almost 11 years. I got married when I was 18 and I never wanted to have any children. My anxiety and depression continued through out my marriage - there were times where I would spend weeks in bed and my husband thought I was going thru PMS!! He's a wonderful person but I couldn't be with him anymore. I don't feel resentful anymore that he didn't know how to help me back then. The program helped me to understand it's me who can help my self heal. Now we're friends. We get along better as friends.

Thank you all for your feedback

[derfy]

I have been more depressed lately that is why I brought the program again. I had purchased years ago and it help me, but I didn't put much into it. I know I will come out of this, and you must never give up. My life has been a life of abuse, additions, suicide (both my father and my best friends. Suicide is I know got to be one of the worst thing a person can live through. Please, nobody every conceder taking your life, because when you do you can destory many lifes and some of your love one never get over it. Also, my mother died at age 45 of alcholism. I used alcohol and drugs from the age of 8 years old. I was a teen alcoholic.
I incountered so horrible sexual experiences (against my will). The point is I got through all of this, and I have a good life. I still get depressed, and the scares I got during my life will be there for ever, but I am alive and this depression I have been going through I know are from my job and family problems I am haveing. I am a christian, and I don't go to church. But, I can tell you that Jesus and Joyce Myer has happy me more than anything.
All I can say is I know what depression is. I have clinical depressin. You and I can always find a way out of that deep, dark hole.