Support circle for depression

Philosophy · Post by **Philosophy** » Sun Nov 14, 2010 9:04 am

Originally posted by Paisleegreen:
HI Philosophy,
I primarily suffered from depression. It was just recently that the General Anxiety Disorder was noted by my new Psychologist to explain it to DH (dear husband).
I was feeling pretty down this morning and wondering if it part of the type of anti-depressant I'm taking now. It seems to cause sometimes scary dreams. But I had to think of what did I do yesterday.

#1-I attacked a patio deck that needed cleaning up from last spring, but then I had my first panic attack after weaning off of meds so it didn't get done.

#2-I found some treasured items (at least to me) that rotted in the elements of rain, snow, heat, and sunshine. So I found me a garbage can to add to my clearing out process.

#3-I then after the clean up watched Marie Osmond on Oprah talk about her son that took his life by jumping off an 8 story building. She lost him 8 months ago, so I knew it was going to be very hard for her. My son jumped off a cliff several years ago.

#4-I've been talking to a sister that is living in (to me) conditions that aren't acceptable. But only can tell by some of the video she took that I, by chance saw as she was showing me something and what she tells me. So I worry about her, but she has lived in worse and chooses to do so.

So I guess I can't blame the medication completely, so the combo of all the thinking going on and working through these "steps" that need to be done or "tasks" I guess one could say, is a bit hard. While right now, I'm not getting my family's support, which is good because they would just pass judgment and it was due to all their different personalities that I'm sensitive to right now that my psychologist is working with me on.

So I think I would have to say that I'm struggling to not be depressed as a daily goal of mine.
Thank you for your comments of encouragement and prayers. I can definitely use both very much. I'm by nature a pretty cheery person and love life and love to laugh. Just never thought life can get so hard sometimes.

So I will keep taking babysteps to get feeling better. I have a hard time w/ changes when I have no control over the changes. I hope to get better at this while I visit here with you and others. Peace right back at you! Paislee

Good morning Paisleegreen,

"The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."

Thank you for that which you have shared from the heart. Do you believe that you will overcome these feelings?
Life is filled with challenges....each and every day. May our Lord instill in you the emotional and physical strength to overcome your suffering. Truly hope and pray for us all to overcome the obstacles in our lives.
Have a blessed, Sunday.
Philosophy

Paisleegreen · Post by **Paisleegreen** » Sun Nov 14, 2010 11:06 am

Oh, yes, I truly believe I can overcome these feelings. But know that it is not going to happen in one day. That is where the test is, and I don't know what is around the corner as well. So it is like walking in the dark with a little flashlight to lighten the path. You are only allowed to see just what is in front of you a little bit at a time.

And have faith that the path is still there and hopefully, be warned of anything treacherous beyond the light.

All I know today, is that I am feeling a little bit better than yesterday, but a whole lot better than 6 months ago. I also realize that my "feeling better" will be different than feeling good as a younger person. I will have the wisdom with me, but not the body of a younger person as I continue my days here on earth.

My Grandmother lived to be 97, I expect myself to live almost that long due to medical science and I live a relatively healthy lifestyle. It is being "happy" or at "peace" while I'm living a longer life is the big question, so hopefully while I'm struggling with my new found symptoms of anxiety and depression. I hope to learn more how to control it and live with it.

Part of feeling better is the medication I'm on and the other is the work I'm doing on here. Reading other's postings has really been helpful indeed. Thanks to all of you!

*slimjim · Post by *slimjim » Sun Nov 14, 2010 3:46 pm

Everyone needs a good support system so if I can help in this area I hope you will call on me to see if I can help you see things that we all have to deal with. The things that make us want to jump back into bed and pull the covers over our heads and wish what did this to us will just go away. But I learned going through this program and beating my Bi-Polar condition that there was a whole herd of my fears just waiting for me to step outside my comfort zones.
Which is what I had to do so I joined Toastmasters and got over my fear of Public Speaking and just was able to stand up in front of a crowd and speaking my mind. Being one who came from a family that hammered into me that anything I had to say was a waste of good energy. To them I was DUMMIER THAN DIRT! But once I got free from this dysfunctional enviroment I began to see that I had a number of gifts the good lord had bestowed on me and it was time to let them out. But I couldn't do it until my codependent relationship with my wife was brought to an end. Then I started to discover ME! Fear and Pain go together whether we acknowledge it or not. But what waits for us on the other side of this coin is beyond words.

For me I started to live for the first time in my entire life. And I'm turning 52 this coming month and I couldn't be more happier.

Thanx.

Philosophy · Post by **Philosophy** » Wed Nov 17, 2010 9:43 pm

Hi Slimjim,

Thank you for offering help to those who may desire a need for it. Were you sincere in your gesture to help if an individual felt that they needed same?
Haven't employed the use of a coach in light of the cost factor. Do you truly feel your coach had a major impact in your road to recovery?
If so would enjoy hearing from you in that regard.
Have a lovely day.
Philosophy

Molly77 · Post by **Molly77** » Wed Dec 29, 2010 11:10 am

I have been diagnosed with Depression since I was a teenager..but never knew I had anxiety. I believe my depression may be anxiety activated but I still struggle with the depression. I have been off meds since I was 20(I am 33 now) but in the last few years I have been having thoughts about maybe going back on meds for it...then I found this program after I had started having panic attacks. I struggle with the hopeless feelings and the "I can't's". So hearing about a support system is music to my ears. I believe these feelings are at the root of my self-sabotage behavior. Thanks for starting this group!!

joy jenkins · Post by **joy jenkins** » Wed Dec 29, 2010 5:47 pm

My name is Joy Jenkins and my e-mail address is joyjenkins@rogers.com. I did this program a few years ago but didn't finish it. It did help at the time, but now I am feeling terrible again. I am an older lady living alone and the holidays have been sheer hell. I can't even get out of bed, it is scary. I would love to hear from someone, having a support group helps a lot. I may be older now, but this illness is still a curse.
Joy Jenkins

Paisleegreen · Post by **Paisleegreen** » Thu Dec 30, 2010 7:05 am

Hi Joy--How are you doing today?

Molly77 · Post by **Molly77** » Thu Dec 30, 2010 2:32 pm

Hi Joy...yes, how are you today?

Toolate? · Post by **Toolate?** » Thu Dec 30, 2010 6:02 pm

Depression is my downfall but much of it results from anxiety. The irony of my depression is that I deep down may be afraid of getting better because I think it is all going to fall apart again. I am in this self-defeating vicious circle-I want to try to get better but I think (well automatic unwanted thoughts) that it is a waste of time and energy because I may feel better for a short time and then get bad again. I hate the rollercoaster. There are plenty of times I just want to die and I have two kids. I tell myself you have to be there for them but instead of feeling stronger, I feel guilty and get more depressed and feel more like I want to die. I just want to get out of this vicious cycle for good and be able to help others. This is no way to live.

nerveball · Post by **nerveball** » Fri Dec 31, 2010 6:45 pm

I sure know what you mean, Toolate?. Fortunelately I don't get on the rollercoaster as often as I used to, but its still a pain when I do. I'm off of meds now and I'm determined to stay off but then when I get depressed I think I was only fooling myself and I'm not really getting better. But I am. I just want me to be fixed right now forever and never have to work on me again. But I guess that's not happening. So I guess I have to work on me one day at a time and take the bitter with the sweet. Living is hard work, but if I stick with it I get a raise everyday. Happy New year to you and everyone else.