Support circle for depression

[cream cheese]

And YES, I just started to read that book Natural Prozac.....hope its as good as you say it is.....creamcheese

[Philosophy]

Originally posted by cream cheese:
I slump into a down mood often. Its a full time job I would love to get paid for!@!! I would be a Trillionaire!! Hope I made someone chuckle out there. The great thing about his site is that we are NOT ALONE in this fight.
I found that continued reenforcement of positive thoughts will push the negative ones out of their own way. I try to think like a child at times. I sit and ponder about good things, and just try to think like I used to when I was young. when we are young we dont have all the nonsense in our heads like today..the needless worry which is useless energy that can be redirected. Its not easy, but we are admitting to ourselves that we need help and we are forging onward to a more healthy way of looking at life. creamcheesepuff

Hello there,

Appreciated what you shared relative to being down in mood often. Have truly discovered that oftentimes my mind is cluttered with useless thoughts which are negative in nature. Yet, until covering lesson 3 this writer did not perceive them as being totally negative thoughts which proves no good end result. Rather needless stress, worry, and frustration illiciting depression. Mind boggling....really!!!!

Yes, the pure and beautiful mind of a child. So sweet and naturally innocent. Would embrace capturing those feelings and precious thoughts once again.

Suggestion -- for those interested in a depression forum what of getting online at the same given time, and "meeting" in the chat room several times per week? Realize we live in different parts of the country. If not am open to other viable alternatives.

Haven't purchased the book as of yet. Located same on the Amazon booksite. There are no copies available where I live.

Have a righteous week each and everyone of you. Please be well, and pace thy self.

Philosophy

[ashleypashley]

I am new to the program as well, on my 3rd week, (i love how there are SO many people you can relate to here!) I have dealt with depression my whole life I think. I think it hits the women in my family because my mother and sister also had problems anxiety/depression. At my worst times, when I literally just break down, I feel like I have no idea who I am, or even know my own thoughts and feelings. I remember a few times where I had the phone in my hand looking through the phone book to call a Psych Ward and have someone come get me. I was terrified. Anyone else think they were goin nuts like that?

[Paisleegreen]

I have felt a deep depression that enough to pray and let the Lord know that I didn't care to live, but my children and husband need me so send some help.

I did make an appt that day with a Family Dr who when checking me out and taking a urine test, asked, "What's going on at home?" Then I burst into tears and told him my story and he asked if I knew of any Psychiatric Drs I could go see. I said, "Yes." as I had worked at a Psych Hospital and knew plenty.

So I picked the one to go see, and he put me on Zoloft to start out with. It helped but made me too mellow and switched me to something else, but I can't recall it right now, it did work though. Also he told me that I would be on anti-depressants the rest of my life and if I went off them then the chances of having another depressive episode would come again and be harder to fix.

Now I wonder about him saying that, as I know that happens with people that are schizophrenic, and I wasn't that. So when that DR retired and I saw the one I see now, he told me right away he was going to help me get off of the meds. I was surprised and told him what the other Dr said.

But at the time he first saw me it was after my son had taken his life at age 15 1/2. So this Dr really had his hands full. So Yes, I can say I suffered from deep depression, but now it is General Anxiety Disorder according to my new Psychologist and we're working together to get me through it or I guess without symptoms along w/ a different anti-depressant a Physician Assistant put me on.

[Philosophy]

Dear Paisleegreen,

Please know that I was most touched by what you shared regarding your riveting depression,and the loss of your beloved son at such a tender age dear soul. So felt your turmoil and inner pain.
Depression has the power to consume ones lifedoes it not? I pray that you regain strength one day at a time.

Have previously written on this forum inquiring as to whether anyone was willing to form an inner group for those suffering primarily with depression. It appears that many have anxiety accompanied by depression. In that regard, had noted one response to date.

Be well.
Peace,
Philosophy

[Paisleegreen]

HI Philosophy,
I primarily suffered from depression. It was just recently that the General Anxiety Disorder was noted by my new Psychologist to explain it to DH (dear husband).
I was feeling pretty down this morning and wondering if it part of the type of anti-depressant I'm taking now. It seems to cause sometimes scary dreams. But I had to think of what did I do yesterday.

#1-I attacked a patio deck that needed cleaning up from last spring, but then I had my first panic attack after weaning off of meds so it didn't get done.

#2-I found some treasured items (at least to me) that rotted in the elements of rain, snow, heat, and sunshine. So I found me a garbage can to add to my clearing out process.

#3-I then after the clean up watched Marie Osmond on Oprah talk about her son that took his life by jumping off an 8 story building. She lost him 8 months ago, so I knew it was going to be very hard for her. My son jumped off a cliff several years ago.

#4-I've been talking to a sister that is living in (to me) conditions that aren't acceptable. But only can tell by some of the video she took that I, by chance saw as she was showing me something and what she tells me. So I worry about her, but she has lived in worse and chooses to do so.

So I guess I can't blame the medication completely, so the combo of all the thinking going on and working through these "steps" that need to be done or "tasks" I guess one could say, is a bit hard. While right now, I'm not getting my family's support, which is good because they would just pass judgment and it was due to all their different personalities that I'm sensitive to right now that my psychologist is working with me on.

So I think I would have to say that I'm struggling to not be depressed as a daily goal of mine.
Thank you for your comments of encouragement and prayers. I can definitely use both very much. I'm by nature a pretty cheery person and love life and love to laugh. Just never thought life can get so hard sometimes.

So I will keep taking babysteps to get feeling better. I have a hard time w/ changes when I have no control over the changes. I hope to get better at this while I visit here with you and others. Peace right back at you! Paislee

[noname_2520]

Dear Paisleegreen: I too am most touched by what you shared regarding your depression and the loss of your most beloved son at such a young tender soul. I too felt your turmoil and inner pain. I wish i was there with you right now to give you a big hug and to just sit and comfort you. I can't even imagine what your going through. I too suffer from deep depression that I was diagnosed as bi-polar disorder (which comes with deep depression) and also schizophrenia-and according to my psychiatrist it is due to the traumatic childhood-to-young adult that caused me to be this way and according to her i will always be on meds. I too got into a deep depression along with anger and yet sadness when she told me this. I regret getting so depressed,angry,and sad- I know now I need to change my negative thinking into positve thinking and it sure is a hard (I'm still on chapter 3)=it is a real hard and is a challenge for me. I decided that I will be in the "land of the well" not "in the land of the ill" beause staying out of depression is a daily goal of mine too for I wasted so much time and-it's been alot better for me so far even though I still struggle with the negative thoughts-I also have to keep reminding myself it's a process and it will take me some time ( like i read as you wrote-"taking baby steps" which i know that will last and take root and not a over night thing that is a temporary thing (that will cause me to yo-yoing back and forth). I too was blaming the medication, but, I like how you pointed out: what you did yesterday> I totally forgot about that- I do remember when Lucinda said that on her Cd's and also in her book. Thank you for all that you shared! Also as you mentioned "blame" i realized I also need to stop the blame game which really also is guilt. And it "hit" me as I read for I just realized why I get so angry and blame everyone(especially the ones who traumatized me in my childhood to young adulthood) and even to others and even God i am so sadly have to say and i read it- i realized it's me getting mad and angry beacause I have a hard time w/changes and even w/life gets hard and there are so many bumps,mountains,valleys,desserts,and obstacles in the way-when I have no control over the changes/bumps/mountains/valleys/desserts/obstacles all that is just part of life. And it reminds me of what Jesus told us in His Word (paraphrasing)that there will be tribulations in life, but, that we should not fear or worry because He has overcome the world. What i have been doing also to help me get out of depression and i learned this at a service at church that when one gets depressed and to get out and stay out of depression is to start reading one chapter of Proverbs that corresponds with the date everyday. For example today is the 12th of November=so today i will read Proverbs 12 and tomorrow i will read proverbs 13 because tomorrow will be the 13th of November and so on. I hope this will give you comfort. And remember the day is getting nearer when Jesus will come and get us and we will be in His city and He will wipe away all of our tears forever on that Great Day=Christ is our hope. May God bless you and your family immensely and thrice.
Graciously, Jupiter7

[Paisleegreen]

Hi Jupiter 7, Thanks for the comforting words. I like the idea of Psalms, and reading the chapter that corresponds to the date or day.

I'm so sorry that you were traumatized as a child. I know that being Bi-polar is very difficult to live with and can be very depressing. Schizophrenia is also very hard on one's soul and I'm sorry that you have to suffer from it. I hope things get better for you as you work at helping yourself take Baby Steps.

My Dr suggested that, referring to the movie called What About Bob? I've always loved that movie, so I knew what he is talking about. I would love to hunt down my Dr while he is on vacation. That is how I felt when I first experienced my first panic attack and thus anxiety or anxiety preceded the panic attack. I just thought I was okay when I weaned off my meds. I guess not! LOL!

Well, I'll be rooting for you and cheering you on as we both work on our Baby Steps. Thanks so much for your kind thoughts. Paislee

I don't see how you are to blame for all your troubles, e

[creamcheesepuff]

Jupiter, Yes, I beleive in the Psalms also....I have found them to be especially soothing during rough times.

[noname_2520]

Originally posted by ashleypashley:
I am new to the program as well, on my 3rd week, (i love how there are SO many people you can relate to here!) I have dealt with depression my whole life I think. I think it hits the women in my family because my mother and sister also had problems anxiety/depression. At my worst times, when I literally just break down, I feel like I have no idea who I am, or even know my own thoughts and feelings. I remember a few times where I had the phone in my hand looking through the phone book to call a Psych Ward and have someone come get me. I was terrified. Anyone else think they were goin nuts like that?

ashleypaishley: Oh yes, I have-unfortunately. And I did ended up going to the Psych Ward. What got me anchored and out of the Psych Ward (and I did waste my young adult life in and out of psych wards) was anchoring my mind on the
Word of God. I memorized scriptures that helped me with my emotions (since I didn't know my thoughts like for anger: I memorized-Ephesians 4:31 & 42.I would suggest to get a small pocket book on "God's Promises" at any bookstore that aern't very expensive (I got mine for $2.98) that has other scripture promises on courage,patience,love,selfishness,etc. Once I done this as a habit than I was able to replace the negative with a postive more easier. For I know this will work for you because God promises His Word will not return void and "For the Word of God is full of living power. It is sharper than the sharpest knife, cutting deep into our innermost thoughts and desires. It exposes us for what we really are. Nothing in all creation can hide from him. Everythin is naked and exposed before his eyes. This is the God to whom we must explain all that we have done." (Hebrews 4:12-13). And when we all ponder on His Word(His promises for us)it helps us to gain control of our thoughts,and emotions than once that is accomplished than we will be able to gain control of our actions because it all starts in the battlefield of our mind. What I learned also as i have been doing this that I don't say any rash things anymore and than regreting it later on. And also it changes us to be Christlike which is a life goal for me to be Christlike in my mind,heart,words,actions. For that is where freedom truly is and along with peace,joy,love,etc...Also i would suggest reading Proverbs daily like today is Nov.14th so i will read today Proverbs 14 and tomorrow Proverbs 15 and so on. So I do know what you mean and how terrible it really is to feel that way-I hate that you have to go through that for again i know it's so awful Also i learned that it's a form of having a panic attack so you probably had a panic attack of when you were ready to call the psych ward to have someone come and get you. Remember Jesus knows what you are going through 'cause He went through it for us and He cares and hurt when you hurt and He sees all your tears and He loves you sooo much as our Heavenly Father does(He gave His onely Son as a sacrifice for us so that through His Son we may (not just) be saved from death, but, also that we may have eternal life that is how much our Heavenly Father loves us (and even while we were against Him (dead in our trespasses). Take Care and May God bless you tri-fold Graciously: Jupiter7