secondary depression

Holly J · Post by **Holly J** » Sat Aug 30, 2008 8:22 am

I have secondary depression. This is when I get depressed over having depression which makes things so much worse and my depression stays even longer )-: I cant seem to get my obsessive thinking about "what if my depression never goes away?" out of my head and that is the very thought that makes me depressed!!!! When will I stop thinking like this? When will I just realize that I am making myself depressed by obsessively thinking this. Before my depression would go away in a matter of days and I'd know that! Now I think what if it never goes away and now my depression is sticking around and I feel it'll never go away )-: CAn anyone relate and has anyone overcome this???

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Aug 31, 2008 5:54 am

Hi Holly, I have an answer you probably don't want to hear. It's all about doing this one thing at a time. You are needlessly overwhelming yourself on a regular basis (I am keeping up with your posts). The answer isn't a one sentence directive (as Dr Fisher says in the first or second CD). Here is a fifteen week course. You pick up the first CD, do the homework, watch the Coaching DVD for Session One, and at the end of the week, graduate yourself to the next session. In therapy (and I know you know about therapy) your therapist is your journey guide. With each session, you progress along the recovery road a few feet farther. Sometimes you make great leaps of progress. Sometimes you fall back a few. That's just life. It's okay. We all do this. As for your depression going away in a matter of days, no. Moods can change in a matter of days. Depression lingers. When we keep doing the same thing that got us here, it stays. You are probably not happy with this reply at all by now. I am writing it because in your posts I hear you reaching. I know you want to have a better life. I believe this program has the tools you need. However, it is a lot of work every day. You said you had created a space of your own, an office, with calming photos, and a desk. Go there every day and schedule a time to do your session CD and your homework. It will begin to help you see, change arrives. It just takes hard work and time. I do sincerely want you to get better and soar out of this program as a successful happy graduate.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Aug 31, 2008 6:24 am

Pecos...I am new to the program and not sure how to send a PM...I would like to connect with you...Can anyone tell me how to do that...Holly, I read alot of your posts also and my heart breaks for your struggle...Know you are not alone...and that this is a journey sometimes seeming very long...I know...one step at a time....I hope you have a good day.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Aug 31, 2008 6:30 am

PM's are easily sent by selecting the person's name that you want to PM. When you get onto their personal profile page, go to the bottom of that page. It will ask if you want to read the person's previous posts, or if you want to send them a personal message (PM). Select PM, and you are ready to write. By the way, you are near my old school, LLU! What a wonderful place that was. Best professionals, best university, best teachers! Wave for me when you drive past on I-10.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Aug 31, 2008 7:07 am

Why would I be unhappy with your post? It was a good one. Oh and when I say my depression goes away in a few days I mean that deep depression where i lose motivation and just want to stay in bed. Usually that goes away in a few days. Also, I must add that I suffer from PMDD which makes me severely depressed 2 weeks before my period. It really messes up my emotions. I'll be high one day and LOW the next. I started taking a birth control named YAZ for this. Its only been a day though so we'll see how it goes. So yes, my moods do change. Ever since my anxiety flared up BIG time in march (actually this is also when i got off bc pills because i wanted to get off anything that could make anxiety worse and in fact getting off made me feel worse) about a month later the depression came. And now that i have controlled my anxiety the depression is sticking around. See, the thing is yes, i have some stress happening in my life but my bf is amazing and i shouldnt be this depressed all the time. I dont understand why i am?! I think a lot of it is my hormones and now my dumb what if thinking. Basically, you are saying to take it slow and that this is a gradual process and to not expect immediate results right? So going through recovery can mean steps fprward and than steps backwards?

JasonWalker · Post by **JasonWalker** » Sun Aug 31, 2008 7:17 am

For example, I began this program June 12. I went along from session to session until I reached three. I had some personal difficulties in my life that week, and everything took longer. I took a week and a half to finish three. On to four, then five, and six. A much loved favorite ranch pet was killed, and I spent two weeks on another session. Then I moved on. I had to spend longer than a week on nine because I have been busy working. But whether it was personal, or work, I did go forward with the progress, and out of the blue, I fell back down a few times. I don't let it discourage me. My thinking is changing. My journaling is showing progress. I am finding my way out of deep depression, even during the difficult weeks. Yes, it is a slow forward motion, with occasional falls back. It's okay. You will keep progressing right up to the end. Hormones are tricky with women, but the more you get a handle on your thinking, the more you will have an edge up on that, too.

pecos · Post by **pecos** » Sun Aug 31, 2008 8:29 am

Si just keep going even when you feel bad? Dont let the bad moments discourage me? I guess when i feel bad i jump to the conclusion that i am broken forever and why has this not gone away yet??!! And i think knowing that I was diagnoses with MDD makes me feel worse. Now I have a label, is basically how i feel.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Aug 31, 2008 9:25 am

Oh my, if I added up all the labels I've been saddled with in my half century of life I'd fall through the floor from the weight of that!

Yes, as much as I'd like to say you can jump on this train and it will always be an easy ride, it isn't and it won't. The morning my pet was killed, I was doing quite well, right up to that moment. Things went south in a big time hurry. But I stayed with the program. I just took two weeks on the same session. I did not stop it, I just took longer because I was in grief.

Life has so many surprises for us, we never know what's around the next tree! But we keep working our way through this forest. And I do believe, from so many of your past posts, this program will help you, and you will have a happier, more peaceful life because of it.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Sep 01, 2008 6:15 pm

thank you for always replying to my posts Pecos. It means a lot to me

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Sep 02, 2008 7:56 am

You are so very welcome.
Hope your day is good to you.