Hello, I am just sending this because I don't know who else I can talk to about these feelings. I am feeling so depressed, it's scarey. I wouldn't mind if I could just die peacefully in my sleep tonight. Don't worry I wont do anything, I don't have the courage to even do that. I think right now I hate myself so much for being like this but I am just at a loss. Have no energy left now.
Joy
This may be too depressing to read
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Guest
Joy - I'm so sorry you're feeling this bad. Please don't hate yourself for feeling this way. You're not doing anything wrong and from what I've read on your posts you seem like a very nice caring person. Maybe you need a different type of medication than what you are currently taking? Maybe it would be a good idea to contact your doctor tomorrow. Talk therapy with a good therapist is really helpful when you have all these feelings and don't know what to make of them. They can sometimes help sort things out. I wish there were something I could do to make you feel better.
Mary
Mary
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Guest
Joy, please hang in there. We all have bad days and I find that when I am feeling really down and depressed that this poem helps me. I hope it will help you too - I am not entirely sure about your situation so forgive me if it is not appropriate - just thought it couldn't hurt to pass it on. I especially love the part about success. Read it and see if it helps at all and most of all -- keep fighting- you are a survivor!
Don't Quit Poem
by anonymous
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest! if you must; but don't you quit.
Success is failure turned inside out;
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt;
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit;
It's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit.
Don't Quit Poem
by anonymous
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest! if you must; but don't you quit.
Success is failure turned inside out;
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt;
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit;
It's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit.
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Guest
Hi, it's Joy again. Thanks so much for all your responses. I am just watching a film about schools in China, it's sort of like going to a boot camp but not so tough as that. I wish I had been sent to something like that when I was growing up in England, perhaps they were too soft with me. I feel I should be tougher,I wish so much I was tougher, but then I remember that this "condition" is I believe an illness so we have that to handle as well. Also I have to remember that I have supported myself all my life and come through at the other end, so I must have some strength. Always had a huge fear of marriage, did try it but it didn't work.Now I think it was more a fear of being close to someone, I notice that most of the ladies who post here do have a husband/boyfriend so I sort of envy that. Post just ran out so better go.