Stress Center Peer Support

Hi everyone,
I'm new here. I am 23 years old, a recent college graduate, and am going to law school next fall. I have some concerns, and I thought possibly someone(s) could help. I've battled depression/anxiety for the past 4 years. My sophomore year I began having severe panic attacks. Ironically, I was taking a psych class at the time and had studied panic disorder, anxiety, etc. Anyway, it was bad enough that I took a week of school and went home. My doctor put me on 1mg of Xanax Xr. Nothing happened at first, but then I noticed it calmed me slightly, or at least enough where I wasn't having severe attacks. However, I noticed I felt especially down. I had no energy, had awful feelings that I can't really articulate that well (like a dark cloud over me all the time). So, he put me on 10 mg of Paxil, which according to him, would balance out my mood. The recovery (I'm not sure if that is the right word?) was gradual. I would say in 4-6 weeks I was back to my old self. I think I went 6-8 months without any problems. Actually, overall the past 4 years have been pretty good. My problem is this: every once in a while I start feeling that way again...not to that extreme, but it's there and it's awful. Sometimes it's two days, other times it's a few weeks. I would say 2-3 times a year I get this. It's either just a general down feeling with low energy, mild irritability, and sleeping all the time OR all of the above with random episodes of anxiety....which by the way, I am having right now. The weird thing is, when I am "okay" I tell myself, "Why couldn't you just tell yourself to snap out of it." Life's fine, all is good. But when I'm under this cloud, it's like no matter what I do, breathing, mild exercise, positive thoughts, etc. doesn't get me out of it. Don't get me wrong, they all help, but they don't "snap me out of it." I look back over my life and I've always been an anxious person. I'm a self proclaimed hypochondriac when it comes to health issues, lol. I'm sure this fuels the fire. When I get an episode I religously think, "Why am I feeling this way? Will I feel like this forever? Will it ever go away?" You'd think I wouldn't worry because I have been through this before, many a time. But, there is always "What if this time...." Anyway, I definitely in a stressful situation right now...studying for the LSAT which is Dec. 6th, trying to finish law apps etc., but this is different than just stress, which I know most, if not all, of you understand. I worry that I won't make it through law school because of my depression/anxiety issues, or through a career in law for that matter.

I don't know if my medication should be adjusted? Should I go to therapy (I've heard both extremes)? I went to a psychologist once, on campus, and it seemed to help. The problem is, I started feeling better and never went back. And now, I don't have health insurance so I guess going to see someone is out of the question. I just don't know what to do. I just want to feel better, and not have these random episodes, which are really SCARY. Sorry for such a novel. Any help appreciated.
God Bless.

well Im no expert, however, I can tell you my experience...i too am a hypochondriac lol. But anyway, Im on 10 of paxil as well, and also klonopin. I feel great alot. It makes me feel human again. But you have to realize that life is not all peaches and cream. You will feel anxious at times and you feel depression at times. Its human. EVryone goes thru it. It just scares u because you have been thru hard times with it in the past and you are on meds so you shouldnt never feel that way, right? wrong! life isnt perfect. Youll have ups and downs like everyone else. so whenyou start to have an episode, just say to yourself, "Is something bothering me that I dont want to deal with?" And then remind yourself that you will be ok. Youve been thru it b4 and you be ok...and distract yourself anyway possible...hope that helps...if you want you can email me anytime.....asamsyd@yahoo.com

Thanks for your response and kind words. You are right. I need to distract myself and stop obsessing, which I've been doing and am starting to feel a little better. Thanks again and God Bless.

Hi,

You may want to look into SAD since you are posting this at this time of the year.Seasonal affect disorder !

Best to you Sit

Hi: I hear what had to say, and I think part of the problem might be that you feel so good now, you're afraid to go back to the way you felt before. Hey, that's a scary thought and nobody wants that to happen. I know there's times I don't even want to think A thought because I'm afraid I'm going to go someplace in my mind, or run into obsessive, scary thoughts and topple right back into my depression. Just distract yourself, listen to one of the sessions or work in the work book and pull your way through it. I had one last night that lasted into today and it prompted me to sit and think about what was really bothering me. Once I figured it out and started to work on the issue, things started to get much better.
Also, be nice to yourself. Don't start beating yourself up, or berating yourself when you have a sad moment. It certainly doesn't help you get out of it.
God Bless!
Lynnier

n I am "okay" I tell myself, "Why couldn't you just tell yourself to snap out of it." Life's fine, all is good.

I think the problem here is "why can't I just snap out of it".

Unfortunately it doesn't work that way or else noone would have panic attacks. I think everytime it does happen you make it last longer through "what if this is it" thinking and attempting desperately to make it change "quickly".

I also believe the reason why it is repeated every so often is you are yet to reach "the realization" that panic attacks are a result of an intensified anxious thought that could go away at the very instant that it comes to mind if you give it time and understand that it is only a matter of time before you think about something else (like that guy you met on the campus). I think what does happen here is as soon as the thought comes to your mind your reaction is "oh damn here is that thought again I'm potentially up for another 4 weeks of panic what do I do now".

Also change your lifestyle and do a mix of activities that keep you busy in a natural way. While you are busy, you don't get to sit down and think about things.

Hope that helps

You all are so very kind to respond. Everyone had valuable advice, thank you. I am trying to do all of the above that you guys mentioned and I am definitely feeling better.
Thanks again and God Bless you all!