Anxiety related to death in the family

courtneyd · Post by **courtneyd** » Tue Aug 26, 2008 2:59 pm

In November my dad passed away at the age of 53. I've never lost someone close to me and it's been a traumatic 7 months. Since the funeral I've had increased anxiety - especially when I think of him or anything that reminded me of his tumor, being in my parents home, church where the funeral was, etc. Just thinking about either makes me feel panicy. Anyone had the same? Any suggestions for moving forward?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Aug 26, 2008 4:06 pm

I can relate to what you are saying so much. I lost my only sister who was in her 30's on March 12, 2007. She was found passed away from an overdose to her pain pills. The early morning hours of the 13th of March, 2007 my husbands Mom was found passed away from a massive heartattack. She was in her late 60's. Up until that time I was starting to get out and do things for the first time in years. I was going to church, to the stores, and homes of family/friends here in town with my husband who always drove. I hadn't been able to do that without high anxiety for several years. I was beginning to think I was finally pulling myself out of the shell I had created. But then when that awful March came and we lost two very close members of our family I totally shut down again. As of right now I can't go anywhere without freaking and can barely get outside and won't go out unless someone goes out with me. I think we just let our emotions take over again by letting those terrible "what if's" rule. I am trying to stop doing that and hope that eventually I can start coming out of this again. We both can do this but it's going to take a lot of determination, courage, strength, and faith in ourselves. Don't give up and fight this. I know its not easy trust me but we can do this.

God bless,
Susan

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Aug 27, 2008 7:50 am

Your devastation is something many of us here do understand. I lost my only brother many years ago. He was young and full of life. Every time I see a Harley Davidson bike, I am reminded of him. He always rode Harleys. A cousin killed himself in more recent years. He had just completed four years in the US Navy. We all thought he was doing well. I see anything Navy, I remember him. This past year, my father died from cancer, and a few months ago, my mother's heart failed. I do know so well everything you mentioned. Sometimes I still pass things in the store that I briefly think I need to buy for one of my parents. I even have those moments when I want to call my dad to ask his advice. How do we just forget these people? They were our family, and we loved them dearly. I have one small token of advice: look for all the wonderful parts of your personality, your good sense, your good features, that you got from your father. Begin to think of those good things. The good thoughts can gradually out weigh the sad ones. My best wishes are with you.

Shaky Susie · Post by **Shaky Susie** » Mon Sep 01, 2008 2:38 pm

Thank you Susan and pecos! It's always reassuring to know that others are living with this and getting through it. Grieving is not easy and I wish it got better with time, but we each need to work through this.
Take Care

Coach Frank · Post by **Coach Frank** » Mon Sep 01, 2008 6:29 pm

You are welcome. You are right grieving is not easy but with time it does get a little easier to get through each day. We never ever forget our loved ones but the pain of losing them does ease up. When I get really lonesome for one of the members in our family that has passed on I try to do something that they enjoyed doing because it helps me to feel them close. When I am really missing my Mom I listen to her favorite music and burn incense as this was something she really enjoyed doing alot. One of my brothers likes to make pizza using her recipe while drinking her favorite beer, and listening to Willie Nelson (one of Mom's favorite singers). It's true that remembering those special memories that are near and dear to us does help to get through those lonely days. Hang in there it will get better.

God bless and hugs,
Susan