Could use some advice on getting up in the morning

[Alby88]

I've been struggling with depression and anxiety on and off for 12 years. I'm currently on medication but recently the depression has started to get the best of me again. I have trouble especially in the mornings, mostly with fatigue and negative thoughts and not wanting to get out of bed. I currently use a dawn simulator, an alarm clock that shakes the bed, and an alarm on my phone to try to get out of bed. The problem is that I just can't find the motivation to get up. I've also been having some physical symptoms like headaches, dizziness, fatigue and a little bit of nausea. I'm having a hard time pushing through and getting to work when I'm having these symptoms and I don't have the motivation to even try to push through. This has caused me to miss quite a few days of work recently and even on the days when I do make it in, I'm really late. My main issue is not being able to get up on time. If I could do that I believe I could deal with all the other symptoms. I've lost jobs in the past because of this issue and I would really like to keep this job. It's just that in the mornings, in those moments when I'm feeling my worst, keeping my job is not enough motivation to get me out of bed on time. What do I do?

[bob p]

you just have to do it! we all have that same issue, some more than others. i know you can do it, i have faith in you. i know it is very very hard. come on. no giving up. get through those uncomfortable feelings and explode through life. i have you back.

[lockdo]

I feel the same way!!! I feel as if I am overwhelmed with paperwork. We must press on!!! Pray to god and believe we will succeed!!!

[MLafferty]

I completely understand, I wake up some days with this impending dread, nothing even has to be wrong to feel this way, just dread. I hate it, I really do. The days I feel good I feel guilty for feeling bad the day or days before. I feel like my life is going before my eyes with me just worrying or feeling guilty. I spent my whole summer in a horrible depression and now and trying to winterize my home and make up time with my 15 year old son who I feel like I neglected all summer thru my depression, I purchased the program this summer and was really gun ho at first then fell off and got slower with it, feeling guilty for taking time to do the program.

[Bryce_in_TX]

This is an old thread, but this was my problem and the reason I lost a job in 1997. I wasn't in touch with the thoughts, I just could not regulate my sleep cycle. The first thing I did to try and get the sleep cycle better was buy the Stresscenter Program. Then I started writing down negative thoughts that really, really bothered me. I listened to the relaxation tape twice a day, also, usually two times in a row.

When I got in touch with the thoughts that were causing my depression they really scared the wits out of me. It took me weeks to figure out some compassionate thoughts to counter the negative ones, but I did. After several months I got into the habit of combating the negative thoughts with compassionate, loving ones. Then I began to feel better. My sleep cycle was still really messed up, but I was trying to deal with what was causing my depression. The program was working for me and at times I found myself waking up from listening to the relaxation tape with earbuds still in my ears. I had fallen asleep listening to it and didn't know what had happened until I woke up. A relaxation response was being established.

After another several months I was feeling even better and felt like I might be stable enough to work again. I enrolled in a Jackson Hewitt tax course. After finishing the course my sleep cycle was still messed up but I went to work for Jackson Hewitt anyway. The first week I had nights when I didn't get any sleep. I went into work the next day, anyway. After work there were times I was tired enough that I fell asleep. There were also times when I went two nights in a row without sleep. I went into work the next day anyway. After work, with 2 nights of no sleep I was definitely tired enough to sleep so I could work the next day. Over time, several weeks, I gradually created a sleep cycle that worked for me. I gradually stopped having sleepless nights.

I had support from people that were on this forum then. They encouraged me, supported me, and helped me.

So, I had to work the Program, write down the negative thoughts, listen to the relaxation tape, and try to stop the beating up of myself with negative thoughts and replace them with loving, compassionate thinking. Over time I learned to love and accept myself unconditionally. Before doing that I was my worst enemy, beating myself up daily with my thinking.

Professional help was no help at all. One psychologist I went to told me I wanted to stay in my depression. Another, 4 years later, told me I just needed to find a job and get up and go to work. I thought, "How do I do that?!? That's what I was coming to see you for!!! This is' HELP'? "

Learn to love yourself, do things that give you a sense of worth, work the program and see where you're at in six months. Post on the forum the struggles you feel you don't know how to solve and see if anyone can help you.

[coachchris]

Wow Bryce, great job using the program! I love how hard you worked at getting out of the negatives and finding your positives. This is where the battle is and the victory. It felt like a giant tug of war for me in the beginning. Sure takes a lot of practice and celebrating each little victory on the way. Thanks for sharing. We love to hear your stories and they are a priceless encouragement for others.

CC

[Bryce_in_TX]

Thanks, Chris. Getting better really is hard for some of us. It really, really is. We've been "stuck" for so long we don't know how to get unstuck.

Some of us don't think we deserve to get better because of mistakes we've made from our past. That's where I was at. Hurting terribly but believing I deserved all that hurt and more because of what had happened to my son on my watch and how I had mistreated my wife at times. Maybe I didn't deserve to get better, but as long as I was emotionally ill it wasn't just me who suffered. My family did, also. Getting better doesn't just impact "us" it also have a positive impact on our family. It's a win-win for you and your family.

Learning how to write down the negative thoughts, then coming up with a compassionate, truthful thought to combat the negative one or ones is where more than half the battle is if you're battling depression. Anxiety maybe more involved than that. I'm not sure since anxiety wasn't my main problem. I think what I did at first was just tell the negative thoughts, "you feel real and true, but for now I'm going to insist that you remain outside, in suspended animation, while I consider this program and try and find something that is compassionate and true about myself. I'm going to insist that you stop attacking me on a daily basis so I can focus on this program." "At some point in the future maybe I'll let you in again but for now you remain outside while I try and work this program."

When that some point in the future came, I was feeling better and had the emotional strength to kick the negative thoughts to the curb.

Friends on this forum also accepted me for who I was and that helped me accept myself as I was, warts and all.

All I can say to folks that may be experiencing not being able to get up in the morning to go to work is, there are people on this forum who have been through something similar or worse (already lost the job and are now unemployed). We don't judge you. On the contrary we've been where you are now. Come in from the cold, get the program and let us support you as you try and get better. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Give us a try.

When you do get up, whatever time that is, do something that makes you feel like you have done something good, of worthy report, that makes you feel good inside. Whether it's taking out the trash for your wife, washing dishes, cleaning up the yard, bathing and shaving, brushing your teeth, going out with a friend for coffee, listening to a Program lesson and working in the workbook, going fishing, whatever. You get the idea, I hope. And then trying to stop the negative thoughts from attacking you by telling them to stop. Okay, I'm rambling now. Sorry.

Please understand I'm not here to judge you. I'm here to try and help you.