Caring Too Much About What Other People Think Of Me

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Dec 18, 2006 5:04 pm

Hi,

I can totally related to how you are feeling. I deal with this all the time. I appreciate everyone's thoughts about it. I think they will help me too.

Take care!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 26, 2006 10:03 pm

WOW!!! DID I WRITE THAT!!!???

bna · Post by **bna** » Sun May 20, 2007 5:42 am

Hello my dear, you're preaching to the choir on this one,ahaha It's hard eh? We're such sensitive creatures. I've been battling the same problem for a very long time. In some ways I don't care what people think but on the other hand I want everyone to be my best friend which is pretty unrealistic,hehe I've realized true friends appreciate you for who you are and we have different levels of frienship with people. Some I'm very close with, others I wish we were closer but I've come to the conclusion that they're just that type of friend and perhaps that just works.
It may sound cliche but all you can do is be polite and nice to others, don't expect the same treatment in return. Does that suck? But that's life!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat May 26, 2007 2:37 am

Hi there, you are not alone on this one...i have battled this issue for a long long time... i too know about expecting people to treat me the way that i treat them with care and respect and empathy and i too know what it's like to be hurt and disapointed when it is not returned. i think a common trait with people like us is that we care, we have big hearts and we give way more of our selves than we probably should..i think for me i love to this part of me but there is a percentage of me that seek approval from my peers and have probably thought myself that this is the way i will gain compassion in return... i was in love with a man, i mean the real deal.. but things went sour and i left because the axiety was almost overbearing.we parted on really bad terms and i am still trying to heal the emotional scars from it... i blamed myself for everything i wasn't pretty enough, what did he really think of me...he probably thought i wasn't good enough, he probably thought why would he want me.... during this time i had a best friend who became a friend to this a man during our relationship....after the breakup, she would give him advise about his new girlfriend, she would call him to counsel him about his breaks ups, all while trying to be in my life..i felt so betrayed and hurt, i was still dealing with the greif of loosing the relationship and i felt like i didn't exist like my feelings were invalid.... like you i avoided her phone calls and tried to play nice...i did not want her to know how upset i was...and i also did not want him to know that i was so upset and broken hearted i did not want him to know i still cared..... i have not talked to him or her in over a year....but yet i have no closure because i did not let either one of them know how truly hurt i was.... I found that journaling really helped me it helped me to get thing off my chest instead of bottling it up and becoming angry.....

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Jun 22, 2007 12:28 pm

I'm always concerned people think she's not pretty enough or smart enough.I work as a dental hygienist,in close proximity to my patients,I'm so overwhelmed with my appearance.Sometimes I think if I'm just nice and respectful to them they can't help but like me.What is this need to be liked?I think it stems from my appearance as a child, my mother was depressed I know now and she didn't help me with my grooming.Today I spend so much money on beauty supplies because I equate being pretty with having people like me. I'm working really hard on this part of myself.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Jun 23, 2007 12:13 am

When I start taking care of myself, I find I am less prone to get that from others.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Jun 24, 2007 3:24 pm

Kathleen- I, too am a dental hygienist, and I totally understand what you mean. I sometimes feel like our job is to try to get the pt to like us, afterall most of them don't want to be there!!! I try to remind myself not to try so hard, and while some people will love you, some will not, just depends on their mood, their own personality etc. I also remind myself not to be such a people pleaser, I can tell since I've been a hygienist, that I can easily fall into trying to please everyone! I'm glad to see I'm not the only hygienist feeling this way sometimes!

rose_thorn98 · Post by **rose_thorn98** » Sat Jul 21, 2007 3:37 am

I can totally relate to what everyone is saying here. Reading this, and remembering what someone told me once, made me realize that we do assume others are judging us - but in reality,we are just thinking that ourselves and projecting our own feelings onto them, thinking that our thoughts are theirs. Wow - that makes sense now...

when I was younger (and I still struggle with this) I thought everyone thought I was boring and stupid. In reality, I must think those things and I'm assuming everyone else thinks it. Also, my exboyfriend used to say to me "you think I'm a jerk" and "I'm not a bad person" - in reality, I didn't think he was - but he must have thought that about himself. Wow - huge lightbulb - thanks everyone!

by the way...has anyone read "The disease to please" by Harriet Braiker? It is excellent!

Gman5256 · Post by **Gman5256** » Mon Dec 17, 2007 7:11 pm

I feel the same way you do...but I am coming to realize something since I asked some people to describe my attitude when I am around them or in a group. They said that I am the one that step back on everybody, and that I am the one that looks that I am judging everything in my mind... so, go figure, I think is us judging that people don't like us and therefore creates that outside...you know like "the secret" thing..but well, I am glad I am not the only one and this is just something that we can work out..Hugs

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Dec 20, 2007 10:23 am

Others around us are so wrapped up n their feelings and needs, they do not see us. Even our parents were so busy getting their needs met, they never saw ours. They never heard us when we tried to tell them. There are a very precious few (mainly people like us) that do take the time. And the others home in on us and suck us emotionally dry.