Goals, not expectations

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Sat Jan 10, 2009 10:19 am

If Anxiety wasn't a factor what would it be that you'd like to achieve? What things would you do for yourself and the people around you?

There is something I've come to realize and in which I would like to share with others. I've realized that if there are goals in which you can focus on besides overcoming anxiety and depression then this can help to get past the anxiety and depression. These goals have to come from yourself and from your heart...I'm not talking about goals that others have for you such as (get a job where you make lots of money, spend more time with a relative, becoming better than someone else...) I'm talking about things like starting a new project that involves your favorate hobby or going on vacation to a place you've never been before, writing a book and getting it published, becoming a well known singer...What are your "passionate" goals?

One goal I have for myself right now is that of getting a specific job. I just started this new job at a call centre for a research company and this lady just started there not too long ago and she worked in the mental health and addictions field for 12 years and we've talked about anxiety, stress, depression and a little bit about how I took that job so I could overcome my social anxiety and some of the other struggles in my life...and she suggested I get a job as a "peer" so in other words, I'd be helping out people who are struggling with the same things I've had to deal with in my past and I'd get between $15-$25 an hour to do. I know my purpose is to help others and I've spent most of my life working through my struggles and learning to understand people and situations and I know this would be a great job for me to have as I do care to help many people. For now however, I need to work on getting myself to a state where I can handle that job and cope with my own stress first as I do not want to have my bagage bringing these other people down as it did with my shiatsu career. My main thing is to get rid of the "it's impossible" kind of thinking.

It feels really great to help other's out when i'm feeling good...There is passion there for me in this.

Is there a passionate goal for you? Finding a passionate goal might be what can bring upon the motivation no i'm sorry, the inspiration to climb out of the dark hole of depression & anxiety. So if you feel comfortable, I'd really like to hear from you guys on this.

Mike

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Jan 10, 2009 10:53 am

Hey Mike, what an absolutely delightful topic! Yes, indeed, goals. Some goals materialized for me AFTER I finished the program, and after I experienced a couple of setbacks. I used valuable skills learned here to keep those setbacks at a minimum. I am now working on these things, and every day, even days which bring problems, I move forward. It's a wonderful feeling. I so enjoy having a life worth living. Again, great topic!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Jan 13, 2009 8:14 am

I totally agree! I am starting to realize that I am going to make myself stronger, and I have decided to prepair for the good days that I feel healed and successful. For starters I am growing my hair out. I cut it all off after my divorce (5 years ago), and have never changed it or grown it out since. He liked the long hair so cutting it off was kind of my way of helping myself move forward. I know it may sound strange, but it worked. I am growing my hair out not to leave it long, but to choose a differnt style to go with my new life on the other side of this program. I will feel more secure in myself and free, so I am bound to want a differnt hair style. Probably something I would never agree to now.

Plus, I have decided to take the weight off, I have ballooned since my son was born (11 years ago) and now to go with my new life and to gain more confidence, I am loosing the weight as well. The weight is my realy problem with my self esteem, I hate it, and feel slow and clumbsy because of it.

I am also going to start my reasearch on a book a subject that I have always wanted to write about. How to place your loved one into the right long term care, things to look for, options they have, what to expect as far as good care, treatment, and enviornment. Having worked in the health care field for years, I feel quailfied to write it, and have always wanted to do so, so off I go. Wish me luck!

JC

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Mar 25, 2009 9:13 am

This really is a great topic. It's funny how many times people put things off "after they get rid of anxiety" instead of challenging themselves and working through goals despite anxiety.
For me, I want a dog. Yet I've been afraid that with all my anxiety I won't be able to handle a dog. I'm setting up my own limitation. The truth is I've had a dog since I was 4 and I'm good at training them and taking care of them. So I'm going for it. I'm sure I'll be able to handle all that comes with the challenge.
Isn't that what you mean? Sometimes you don't know what you can achieve and overcome till you go for it.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 08, 2009 8:05 am

NinjaFrodo... the question I keep putting off at every intersection; "what are my goals?". I love to paint. I love to read. I love to write poetry, though really they would be better off as songs. So the obvious thing would be to paint often and sell the pieces. I paint, but the selling part evades me. I want to be able to make a living at it, but...well you see my dilemma. Move to a different state close to the mountains and the sea is my other goal. All these things freak me out. I am an intelligent person. Conceptually all are plain and simple and doable. Putting any of these in motion is scary as hell and it paralyzes me. You asked...I responded.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Dec 10, 2009 9:48 am

wow you really dug deep to find this thread. It has almost been a year since i posted this thread.

Goals are challenging to reach at times which is what seems to be your problem at hand. Maybe you need to talk to someone who works in sales or an artist that is successful at selling their art and get some ideas from them...the technical aspects as well as the mental aspects.

Mike

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Dec 28, 2009 10:50 am

NinjaFrodo,

Thanks for your original post. I think working towards goals unrelated to our anxiety is a great way to move forward. We ALL have our own unqiue aspirations. There is power in knowing that we can achieve far more than the world has planned for us.

“Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them and try to follow them.” -Louisa May Alcott