I am finding session 4 extremly differcult.
I just started session 4 a couple of days ago. i know that Luncinda Bassett, suggested to let go of expectations, and quite litteraly try to be in control of your own life. But lately since i started volunteering I've been getting paranoid about people talking about me behind my back. I feel that when it happens i think there is something wrong with me. Like i just dont belong. I am currently trying to come to the conculsion i cant live like this anymore. I just feel the mental wall i have kept up all these years is getting harder and harder to tear down. I know that i dont have control of what people think of me. I should just try and control what i can in my own life and be at peace with who i am. The problem is trying to overcome my own anxiety that i am currently facing is the delema. I am also trying to fight my old habits of people pleaseing and trying hard to fit in. I know i should not be anxious because i have no control over how people think of me. But taking the action is so much work. I sometimes want to just give up and go back to where i was, Because the fear the parnoia and the constent effet to try and have positive dialog with myself and not let these emotions control me is taking a toll on me.
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Guest
Brian
There is no way any of us can live up to anyone
else's expectations of us. When we start trying, we are already loading an unthinkable weight upon ourselves. There is nothing wrong with setting goals in life or expectations. It's when we set unrealistic expectations upon ourselves or others where we end up beating oursleves up with guilt and stress.
Im assuming your volunteering because you want to, because your want to help others. THAT is what is important,,not what the people you volunteer with think of you. Your not doing it for them, your doing it to be helpful to others.
Be proud of what your doing, if all they have to do is perhaps talk behind your back, then they are there for the wrong reason!
Be gentle with yourself,, start liking who YOU are. session 4 is such a good one, because it allows us to set boundaries for ourselves and others, to protect ourselves. Nelly:)
There is no way any of us can live up to anyone
else's expectations of us. When we start trying, we are already loading an unthinkable weight upon ourselves. There is nothing wrong with setting goals in life or expectations. It's when we set unrealistic expectations upon ourselves or others where we end up beating oursleves up with guilt and stress.
Im assuming your volunteering because you want to, because your want to help others. THAT is what is important,,not what the people you volunteer with think of you. Your not doing it for them, your doing it to be helpful to others.
Be proud of what your doing, if all they have to do is perhaps talk behind your back, then they are there for the wrong reason!
Be gentle with yourself,, start liking who YOU are. session 4 is such a good one, because it allows us to set boundaries for ourselves and others, to protect ourselves. Nelly:)
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Guest
I know all too well about the people pleasing and being concerned about what people think of me. But then I ask myself...can i really read minds? who's thoughts can effect me?
I'm the only one who can think my thoughts so any other person is going to be able to only think their thoughts. Its just a faulty interpretation.
Maybe there is something wrong with you, I think that would make you just like the rest of us human beings. If we didn't have things to work on then life would really suck.
If people talk behind your back and you don't hear it, then would it really devistate your life?
Something to think about,
Mike
I'm the only one who can think my thoughts so any other person is going to be able to only think their thoughts. Its just a faulty interpretation.
I feel that when it happens i think there is something wrong with me.
Maybe there is something wrong with you, I think that would make you just like the rest of us human beings. If we didn't have things to work on then life would really suck.
If people talk behind your back and you don't hear it, then would it really devistate your life?
Something to think about,
Mike
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Guest
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Guest
I know I demand too much from myself and others. I can extend situations to the point of no return. But I think I control it very well at times. Its almost like you are stepping backward in another dimension and view the whole complete picture. Its a STOPPING the moment within yourself. I did that alot at work...if someone was in dire straits, unconscious or in need of CPR...I would take in the whole of the situation...scan the area so to speak, see whose around me to help, focus on my patient because THIS was my main job AT THAT MOMENT....what stressed me out is other staff or nurses getting stressed too much to the point where you were dealing with them and your sick patient....Focusing on THAT moment is vital and makes you in control I feel. But then I always felt out of sorts like I didnt do ENOUGH. EVen though the patient was feeling better or went to the hospital awake and alert.
I always questioned my actions....I guess I thought I was too demanding at times with others....But in a situation of crisis...you have to delegate duties to those around you.
Funny thing is that I EXPECTED my staff to know their job and how to help me.....thats not alway the case. creamcheese
I always questioned my actions....I guess I thought I was too demanding at times with others....But in a situation of crisis...you have to delegate duties to those around you.
Funny thing is that I EXPECTED my staff to know their job and how to help me.....thats not alway the case. creamcheese
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Guest
Hi Brian,
Another people pleaser here! But, I do have to say I am getting much better since my Therapist told me what to think when I am worried about what others think of me. She said to tell myself that IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF ME!!!! It's so true, I can't control their thoughts, so it's none of my business! I hope this helps, it has helped me in job interviews, classes, etc.... And she just told me this 3 weeks ago! Good Luck, you'll be better in no time....keep with the program!
Jodi
Another people pleaser here! But, I do have to say I am getting much better since my Therapist told me what to think when I am worried about what others think of me. She said to tell myself that IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF ME!!!! It's so true, I can't control their thoughts, so it's none of my business! I hope this helps, it has helped me in job interviews, classes, etc.... And she just told me this 3 weeks ago! Good Luck, you'll be better in no time....keep with the program!
Jodi