Wow this is really hard!

Kandy Bolton · Post by **Kandy Bolton** » Fri May 01, 2009 4:00 am

This is my 4th week. I got really stuck between the 3rd and 4th week. I feel like I need to be doing something but what I need to be doing is slowing down and healing. I've developed such bad habits in my thinking that it's hard to be quiet and alone because I bombard myself with negativeness. I'm back on track today though. What a struggle. I really fight with rejection. I'm right between knowing that I may not get the response from people that I hope for and being OK in myself when I don't and not even being concerned about it. I want to be free to just be me and not care before hand about what might happen. Why can't I just be happy and at peace despite the outcome weather it's good or bad. I think I might be thinking selfishly? If I focus on me then that is what I will think. If I focus on what I can contribute to someone else then I'm not hung up on the lies that I've believed about myself and will change those lies by doing good and feeling self worth. Does that make sense?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri May 01, 2009 5:04 pm

hi kandy,I know what your talking about I too worry what others think of me really bad.It is so bad with me I hate this website and only do it cause the program tells me to.If I write a post and don't get any or little feed back I think that no one likes me,my posts are not good enough or that no one really cares. I too want to move past this problem and just be ok nomatter what happens in my life. I just hope you don't put all of yourself into helping others, you are not being selfish right now working on you and you won't feel any better about yourself by trying to earn the feelings of peace and contentment,I have tryed the more I did for others the worse I got because it never felt like enough or that I was really making a difference. I don't think that inner peace can come from external things or actions. I think it really is internal and how we think about ourselves. I really belive lucinda is right about all of this. It is so very hard to do though, I'v wanted to give up so many times,but I know I will get better if I just stick with it. I am feeling better emotionally but am mentally drained with all this. I guess all I am trying to say is don't be hard on yourself, you are not selfish and by doing this and trying to change,you are going to be worth a lot more to the people in your life and others in the long run.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon May 04, 2009 6:43 pm

You all are great!!!! You definitely are taking things too personal!!! I care about each and every one of you!!!

You all are welcome to read my postings...Most of them are in the General Comments section...

I wish I had the time to spend on the computer to encourage each of you daily, but, I am sooo busy with all my other commitments....

I am sure everyone on here cares..Most are working hard to recover themselves!!!!

So, please don't take Personal, because it isn't!!!

I wish you all the very best!!!!

~*schnauzermom*~ · Post by **~*schnauzermom*~** » Wed May 06, 2009 1:23 am

Hi everyone,
Haven't posted for a few days just was wondering I'm on session 4 and am feeling like I haven't taken in everything I need to from the other sessions. I'm feeling a little overwhelmed this morning and for some reason I feel more anxious than I was before. I had a hard time with session 3 and don't know if I was ready to move on? Sometimes I just don't want to hear about anxiety anymore but I really want to get well but want it yesterday has anyone else felt this way. Thanks Roberta

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed May 06, 2009 4:09 am

hi roberta, yes I feel that way a lot I get overwelmed and sometimes get more anxious, I just started week 5 and am seeing that moving through the program the way it is suggested is for a reason. A lot of the stuff from previous lessons are gone over again and again in small amounts. It is normal to feel more anxiety for a short time in the beginning, you are facing stuff that produces it, but don't give up, keep up with the relaxation cd and for me I relax better with really old country songs. I put my headphones on pick a favorite album and just get lost in it. I still do the relaxation cd but I find music really helps calm me also. keep busy when you feel anxious and distract yourself with something. This program is not easy,it takes a lot of really hard work, what keeps me going is the faith that this program will work for me. I really belive if I do what it tells me too I will recover. just try to be patient and keep telling yourself you can do this and a little anxiety now is worth the outcome.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed May 06, 2009 11:43 am

Thanks Dorothy it really helps to know that we don't have to go this alone and can talk to people that are going through similar things. I needed that encouragement to keep moving forward. I wish you all the best doing your program. thanks again Roberta

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu May 07, 2009 7:59 am

Hello Everyone,

I just read through your post and I came away encouraged, because even though you are all suffering you still take the time to encourage someone else.
This program is amazing and we are all amazing people as Lucinda always reminds us. We have anxiety, because we are high achievers, perfectionist, creative people.
I look forward to hearing the success of each and every member. Because if you can do it, I can too!!!