Posted: Fri May 22, 2009 6:25 am
As we grow up we are taught how to view objects,people, situations and experiences. It creates a foundation of interpretation for a whole lives. This is what determines how we react to rejection, acceptance, insults, compliments, hate, love and everything in between. It is a necessity in order to get through life. Without it, nothing would have any meaning or value. It also helps us to create our morals and rules that we have for ourselves and each other as well as habitual ways of thinking.
Like most things, our beliefs, rules & habits can help or harm us. They can be self-succeeding or self-defeating. Ie. Carrying around a belief that if you don't do it perfectly then you are a failure is a great example of a self-defeating thought. On the other hand if you believe that you have the ability to grow, improve and use mistakes to better yourself then you'll be more self-succeeding.
Recently i've come to actually take a deep look at all of my rules & beliefs which drive my habits these are those things you tell yourself "Should/Shouldn't", "must" or "have to" happen. There are a tremendous ammount that don't help me at all! I wonder if anybody can relate to them. So far i have counted 115 of them!
Among my most self-defeating rules are the following; (and yes i know exactly how rediculous they are)
1) I have to do things perfectly or i'm a failure as mistakes are bad and people will look down on me for them.
2) I shouldn't hurt anybody in any way
3) If someone criticizes me or insults me, they are automatically right.
4) As a professional, I should know how to answer any possible question that is asked of me and be able to handle any situation that arises.
5) I shouldn't express myself as it shows vulnerability.
6) If i do something that i feel is right and someone else doesn't approve then I failed and am inadequate.
7) I shouldn't be lazy. This shows that i'm inconsiderate, worthless and selfish.
8) I should put people first and me last. I need to help people regardless of how i feel.
9) People should understand me.
10) People shouldn't treat me in a mean, hurtful and/or unfair way.
11) Nobody should stay stupid or retarded things.
12) I should get to bed early.
No wonder i feel anxious and depressed
Like most things, our beliefs, rules & habits can help or harm us. They can be self-succeeding or self-defeating. Ie. Carrying around a belief that if you don't do it perfectly then you are a failure is a great example of a self-defeating thought. On the other hand if you believe that you have the ability to grow, improve and use mistakes to better yourself then you'll be more self-succeeding.
Recently i've come to actually take a deep look at all of my rules & beliefs which drive my habits these are those things you tell yourself "Should/Shouldn't", "must" or "have to" happen. There are a tremendous ammount that don't help me at all! I wonder if anybody can relate to them. So far i have counted 115 of them!
Among my most self-defeating rules are the following; (and yes i know exactly how rediculous they are)
1) I have to do things perfectly or i'm a failure as mistakes are bad and people will look down on me for them.
2) I shouldn't hurt anybody in any way
3) If someone criticizes me or insults me, they are automatically right.
4) As a professional, I should know how to answer any possible question that is asked of me and be able to handle any situation that arises.
5) I shouldn't express myself as it shows vulnerability.
6) If i do something that i feel is right and someone else doesn't approve then I failed and am inadequate.
7) I shouldn't be lazy. This shows that i'm inconsiderate, worthless and selfish.
8) I should put people first and me last. I need to help people regardless of how i feel.
9) People should understand me.
10) People shouldn't treat me in a mean, hurtful and/or unfair way.
11) Nobody should stay stupid or retarded things.
12) I should get to bed early.
No wonder i feel anxious and depressed
