Stress Center Peer Support

So how do we know what are reasonable expectations and what are not in a relationship? I mean, there have to be some basics you should be able to expect beyond not getting beaten or abused...

I do understand that it's not supposed to be up to the other person to make you happy or fulfilled... and that we need to not overreact and take things personally - but how do we deal with it when it feels like we're not respected or our emotions get hurt or it's all about the other person? How do we know when we should adjust our expectations and when something is actually wrong?

A friend pointed out to me that I don't always react or pick up on it when someone is not nice to me... She remembered an episode where a friend was very challenging or atttacking and I didn't react to the behavior, but went home with a headache later in the evening. I think I may have high expectations, but also put up with a lot because I expect people to be able to change and to treat me nicely if I only explain how it makes me feel if they don't... It's so surprising to me when people are not nice!

Would love some input on this...

Yeah, this one is a tricky one for me too. I know that sometimes I overreact to situations or comments made by others. But sometimes I feel like I just have to stand up for myself. Especially with my husband. He is a type A personality--like myself--and to him he is always right and always perfect. How can we both be perfect?! haha. Sometimes, I know I'm wrong, but he is NEVER wrong. I have to speak up and then I end up feeling guilty or angry because I stood up for myself (or our children). Does anyone have answers?