Empowering Group Program Run-through part4

Do you have such high expectations of yourself and others that you’re constantly disappointed? Learn how to have realistic, reasonable expectations and be happier than you’ve ever been before.
LyndaLu
Posts: 794
Joined: Sun Oct 03, 2010 4:43 pm

Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through part4

Post by LyndaLu » Sat Feb 01, 2014 8:15 pm

Mary:

I was off of my psychiatric medications for over a year.
This was a terrible time for me.
I did not have an income or any other money, so I had to discontinue my medications.
I started back on small doses of psychiatric medications in September 2013.
Not too long after that I started attending support groups and learning coping skills.
This combination has been successful for me so far.

I too get into a panic when I am in panic !
Since entering recovery I have had one bad panic attack at home
and one bad depressive episode. I don't know why, but they always
seem to happen on Sunday afternoons. :(

Silly me, I thought that once I learned and started practicing all
of those coping skills that I would NEVER have another panic attack
or depressive episode ( crying uncontrollably and feeling really depressed ).
But this was not the case. It is very, very unrealistic to think that
because I am now entering recovery and learning healthy coping
mechanisms that I will no longer, ever, have panic attacks.

The difference between the old me and the new me is this,
now I have the skills to lessen the severity of the panic attacks.
They are less scary and not so devastating. I can use that positive
self talk. I can use the breathing techniques. I can use visualization
techniques. I can listen to quiet, relaxing music on my headphones.
Also a great thing to do when you are having a panic attack is
to talk to someone. I have not yet built up a support system
for myself, so I have no one really to call on the phone or talk
to in person. But hopefully some day I will.

When I had my recent panic attack I was able to lessen the
level of the panic. It did not ruin my entire day. Within a reasonable
amount of time I was able to work thorough it. It did not kill me.
I was not harmed. After I survived the panic attack successfully I was so
proud of myself. This improved my self-confidence.

Well, I am getting a bit chatty here ! :o

LyndaLu :)

Mary B.
Posts: 36
Joined: Fri Aug 31, 2007 8:23 am

Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through part4

Post by Mary B. » Mon Feb 03, 2014 9:32 am

Hi LyndaLu,
Sounds like you have come a long way and continuing your journey to recovery. I know it is not easy. Especially those days or moments when you feel as close to normal as ever and then an intense but brief anxiety/panic attacks come on with a vengence and I am unprepared to deal with it bc I told myself that I was in "the clear". THat I must be past "those" days and then the let down comes flooding in. That is my challenge right now. I am having more time of feelings of well being until I get symptomatic again. Like for instance this morning I woke up to snow and just learned that schools were closed and that my husband was still attempting to go to work. This is a trigger for me. I don't know but maybe feeling trapped in by the snow the freezing temps, having to manange my 3 boys alone all day, the list of chores that need to be done despite my lack of motivation and low energy. I went a little longer that I should to eat bkft and I think I have hypoglycemia which bring on some anxiety and I suddenly felt like my heart rate slowed down that I checked my pulse. it seemed slow and that triggered an adrenalin rush bc I prob said to myself subconsciously that "Im dying" and than I ran to take my Ativan. I was too afraid to "just" use my skills. Big mistake right? Anyway, I won't dwell on that and just try to move forward. That is where I am at now. Keep up the food work!

THH
Posts: 860
Joined: Mon May 10, 2010 10:53 am

Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through part4

Post by THH » Mon Feb 03, 2014 1:42 pm

Lyndalu,
I applaud you for finding the right help for you! I can agree with you that being with other people who tend to be like you can give great insight and support. I know of others who have done as you, with great results.
I was in denial that I had a anxiety problem. Then I worried I was the only one. It was refreshing to come here and see I was so not alone. I have done the program several times I think my first was in 2010. The support on here was very good. It was helpful for me to read and post.
Great job! Keep up the great work!!!

Mary B,
I have had problems weather related like you. Too cold, too snowy, too hot ect... For me I have to go out in it. It helps my thinking. For me it seams to tell me that even though I don't like it, I can still go places or do things. I also watch the what ifs because I really can scare myself, what if I get sick and can't go to the hospital or doctor. What if we loose power on and on.
It is good that you take your meds. because if you could of controlled your thinking you would have. I take them as needed as well. I am doing better and do not take as often. They work better when I am at low levels of anxiety rather than wait till I am at a 10.

I am doing well, I have picked up a bunch of new skills this time though. Like you I do vey well for awhile and then I go back or have a stretch of anxiety. It really is something we have to work on all the time by being aware of our thoughts. I get depressed too when I have set backs, and I have connected with it as depression too. It can be a expectation that by working on all this stuff we will not over react or expect to never have a anxiety attack again! It could happen that way but it does not mean never. I know so many things are just reactions and I never pay any mind to them, where now I do.
Oh its snowing, Over reaction is I can't drive, I can't see. I can drive, may not be able to see very well, but I can see.

Great job ~ :D

Mary B.
Posts: 36
Joined: Fri Aug 31, 2007 8:23 am

Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through part4

Post by Mary B. » Mon Feb 03, 2014 4:03 pm

Yes THH,
Im sure my automatic what ifs are so deeply ingrained that it often happens without out notice and it is the physical reaction that I am keenly aware of. It will take time and practice to really listen to what it is I am telling myself when any physical sensations come on. Unfortunately, my scary physical sensations for me now are heart related and death. I am obsessed with my physical sensations (Heart skips, and other heart related sensations) potentially causing me to die. It seems that my automatic thought screams "danger danger" whenever if have this experience. And fortunately the meds prevent the spiraling out of control. It is has gotten better but I've been having these breakthru more than is comfortable. I may need to change meds but I also want to do the work myself by practicing self talk and relaxation. I know that those changes will ulitmately be more long lasting and effective. I don't want to be on meds for too long. Thanks for the support

LyndaLu
Posts: 794
Joined: Sun Oct 03, 2010 4:43 pm

Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through part4

Post by LyndaLu » Thu Feb 06, 2014 9:06 pm

All: :)
I would just like to thank everyone for their input here
and for writing about their own experiences as far as their condition(s).
Listening to my peers ( in person, or on the computer ) has
really aided in my recovery. Listening and talking to my
peers at recent programs and support groups has really made
me feel like I am not alone after all. There are men and women
out there just like me who are suffering. We all have a different
diagnosis, but the socialization was an advantage to all of us.
No matter what point we all are in our recovery, we can always
offer hope to one another.
LyndaLu :)

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