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Do you have such high expectations of yourself and others that you’re constantly disappointed? Learn how to have realistic, reasonable expectations and be happier than you’ve ever been before.
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allenae9
Posts: 35
Joined: Thu Jul 26, 2012 7:19 pm
Location: Maine

question

Post by allenae9 » Thu Aug 23, 2012 10:36 pm

I'm afraid people are expecting things from me without me knowing. I'm constantly worrying if I should do things at work because people assume its my job anyways. I worry friends and family expect me to do things for them even though they haven't said anything. Is this people pleasing? Is it my own expectations of myself coming through? Is it me wanting control over situations or doing things myself so they are done right? I'm so confused I feel like it is everything.
As I grow to understand life less and less, I learn to love it more and more. ~Jules Renard

coachchris
Posts: 757
Joined: Wed Jun 06, 2012 2:34 pm

Re: question

Post by coachchris » Fri Aug 24, 2012 12:29 pm

HI Allen,

It sounds like a combination of mind-reading and 'shoulds.' I love your awareness of this for it is the key to continued growth. When you find yourself mind-reading pause and get back into the present moment. Lesson 4 challenges us to hear our 'shoulds' and ask if they are reasonable, realistic or rationale. Doing this helps us to reign in all of the expectations we are piling on ourselves and also expecting from others. The attitude inventory in lesson 4 also helps with this.

Celebrate your awareness. Learning this concept really moves us toward peace.

I would love to have a free coaching with you and we could talk about it further. Feel free to private message me if you would like to get on the schedule.

We are here to help,
Coach Chris StressCenter.com

learnpatience
Posts: 2
Joined: Fri Mar 02, 2007 9:11 pm

Re: question

Post by learnpatience » Sun Sep 02, 2012 10:06 pm

I have the feelings of shoulds and worrying about what other people think. I also, have a fear of not getting better, or my friends not liking the "new" me. This week was difficult, I am on a leave of absence from work because of my anxiety and depression and I stayed in bed most of the day today, I feel like a slug/ I could not motivate myself. Help..any suggestions!

coachchris
Posts: 757
Joined: Wed Jun 06, 2012 2:34 pm

Re: question

Post by coachchris » Sun Sep 02, 2012 11:20 pm

Hi Learnpatience,

My name is Chris, I am a coach here at StressCenter. Do you have the program? It sounds like life has gotten stressful and it's hard to find the positives and manage the adrenalin. I would suggest the relaxation cd and review lessons 2 and 3. Remember that every negative thought we have carries a chemistry with it. If we are thinking bad, we will feel bad. Maybe you needed a day of rest too.

Be sure to be eating healthy and getting some exercise in....lots of water. I would love to schedule a free coaching call with you if you would like to talk. Just PM me and we can get something scheduled ASAP.

We are here to help.
Coach Chris StressCenter.com

learnpatience
Posts: 2
Joined: Fri Mar 02, 2007 9:11 pm

Re: question

Post by learnpatience » Fri Jan 18, 2013 2:10 pm

Hi Chris,

I have the program and am on Week 12. Courage to change. I have learned through the program that my reasons for staying anxious are from not being assertive, so that I will be liked or please others, or fit in. I have had anxiety several times and they have mainly been job related, when I am given more work or responsibility, and then all of my underlying insecurities come up to. I am in therapy with a doctor that supports the program, it just occurred to me that I need to tell him what I am telling you in this post. What do you think?

Thanks,

Shelly

coachchris
Posts: 757
Joined: Wed Jun 06, 2012 2:34 pm

Re: question

Post by coachchris » Wed Jan 23, 2013 5:35 pm

Hi Shelly,

Sorry it has taken me so long to reply. My internet has been down. Yes, do share with your Dr. and also try and attach and action with this new awareness that you have. Always replace lies with truths and take that next baby step toward growth. Be sure to love yourself along the way. It takes a lot of courage to do what you are doing, that means you are a courageous woman!

Would love to have a free coaching call if you would like to talk more.

Private message me if you want to set something up. Just click on the the PM tab to the right of this post.

Celebrate your successes!

We are here to help.
Coach Chris

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