Afraid to Listen to Love Songs

Do you have such high expectations of yourself and others that you’re constantly disappointed? Learn how to have realistic, reasonable expectations and be happier than you’ve ever been before.
Post Reply
LovesLuv2
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Jun 29, 2012 2:05 pm

Afraid to Listen to Love Songs

Post by LovesLuv2 » Fri Jun 29, 2012 2:27 pm

My husband passed in May. The love of my life. Aside from everything in the world that reminds me of him, I cannot now listen to love songs, especially our favorite ones like Frank Sinatra. I just heard IT HAD TO BE YOU by Sinatra and really lost it. Still breaking up. Trying to breathe. This is when I feel like I can't go on.

My daughter and her child are the only things holding me here. I just don't really care about anything else.

Recently my daughter and I hosted a memorial for my husband. His eldest daughter, my stepdaughter was scheduled to come early and to speak first (my daughter insisted on honoring her) and to help out setting up. We had 1 hour to setup, 45 minutes for service in the chapel, 1 hour for coming together and a slideshow, food, in the hall, and then 1 hour to clean up. Because we didn't hear from stepdaughter, after waiting an hour into the time scheduled for a service we had to start without her. She says she called and I know I called dozens of times, but we never connected. There may have been a dead zone for the phones. Tragedy is there was horrendous traffic holding her back and we had to start the service. We really held it as long as possible. Stepdaughter finally got there, took offense that we didn't wait for her ( I do know she must have been wiped out) and left without coming in or telling us she got there. Now she blames my daughter, her 1/2 sister for starting the service and not considering her. We are now criminals in her book and she is poisoning the rest of the family that we have done something against her. She actually said she would not forgive my daughter and she is "done." It kills me to see my daughter being treated like this when she took her sister into consideration at every juncture and always does. My husband was cremated and now the stepdaughter is demanding some of his ashes so she can do "her own thing."

I am not always as thoughtful as my child, but there will be no forgiveness coming from the stepdaughter, she says and has the audacity to call my daughter, "controlling and justifying what happened." I can't find much forgiveness at the moment either, mostly because the stepchild has made this ugly. It is physically painful. I guess I expect that stepdaughter will come around but I really think she won't and will leave this dark cloud over my husband's passing, possibly turning my husbands family against us, though we know them and they love us, there will always be this awkward bad taste in everyone's mouth.

Post Reply

Return to “Session 4 - Expectations: How to Expect Less and Get More”