What are your expectations like?
What are your expectations like?
I have just spent two weeks on session 4 as I feel that both sessions 3 and 4 contain a lot of information that pertains to me - and to alot of us, I believe. As I have examined my expectations, I have found that my expectations are extremes - at polar ends of the spectrum. For myself and what I should be, do, accomplish, etc. - my expectations are high and perfectionistic. On the other hand, my expectations about others and what I believe I deserve is at the complete opposite end of the spectrum - very low. Is anyone else like this? I also think I need a session titled: Expectations: How to Expect More and Get Something!!!!
Re: What are your expectations like?
Hi,
I seem to be working on the expectations I have of others. I feel that other people should be honest like I am. I expect people to be courteous to me. I expect people to be truthful. I expect people to be grateful for what I do for them. I am learning that these are unreasonable expectations. I have been very disappointed with others. I need to realize that what they do is their business and not mine! Hard lessons for me.
I also have high expectations for myself. This leads to depression and inactivity. When I "fail" to live up to expectations then I feel lethargic and dont want to try. How to get over that?
I seem to be working on the expectations I have of others. I feel that other people should be honest like I am. I expect people to be courteous to me. I expect people to be truthful. I expect people to be grateful for what I do for them. I am learning that these are unreasonable expectations. I have been very disappointed with others. I need to realize that what they do is their business and not mine! Hard lessons for me.
I also have high expectations for myself. This leads to depression and inactivity. When I "fail" to live up to expectations then I feel lethargic and dont want to try. How to get over that?
Re: What are your expectations like?
Peony,
I'm the same way about my expectations for myself. I set them so high and so perfectionistic that I don't do anything or never finish and then I start feeling guilty.
I'm the same way about my expectations for myself. I set them so high and so perfectionistic that I don't do anything or never finish and then I start feeling guilty.
Re: What are your expectations like?
Hi Dixie,
I was "stuck" for a few days there when there were important things I had to deal with... I told myself I would just do one thing, and did a couple. Gave me a lift doing SOMETHING. Now I need to motivate myself again. I can do it!
ONE thing at a TIME. I vacuumed today and went for a 1 hour walk. Now I think I will read my fiction. he he
I was "stuck" for a few days there when there were important things I had to deal with... I told myself I would just do one thing, and did a couple. Gave me a lift doing SOMETHING. Now I need to motivate myself again. I can do it!
ONE thing at a TIME. I vacuumed today and went for a 1 hour walk. Now I think I will read my fiction. he he
Re: What are your expectations like?
Dixie, Congratulate yourself for even doing one thing!!! You are doing better than you think you are, probably not noticing the good stuff.
Re: What are your expectations like?
Hello there,
I'm new here and still don't quite know how this is all functioning..so I'll try and do my very best....english isn't my mother language, so I hope you'll understand me...
!
I'm on session 4 by now and still have a lot of up and downs...my expectations are quiet high as I realize this week, It's like my "should 's or could's" are telling me go go go and then my body is like stop stop stop tooooo much.....and then I'm left there completely exhausted, sad, anxious and depressed.....and have a bad conscious because I could not do the things I wanted to. Is there anybody else feeling like this
My major problem is to be exhausted most of the time.....but I suppose this will not last for ever....Sometimes I don't really now how long I should work at a session....I stay for 2 weeks on session three, I think I should take my time and not hurry up....nobody said we have to make it in 15 weeks, it took me quite a time to get there were I am, so It can take a little while to manage all this 
.
regards!
I'm new here and still don't quite know how this is all functioning..so I'll try and do my very best....english isn't my mother language, so I hope you'll understand me...
!I'm on session 4 by now and still have a lot of up and downs...my expectations are quiet high as I realize this week, It's like my "should 's or could's" are telling me go go go and then my body is like stop stop stop tooooo much.....and then I'm left there completely exhausted, sad, anxious and depressed.....and have a bad conscious because I could not do the things I wanted to. Is there anybody else feeling like this
My major problem is to be exhausted most of the time.....but I suppose this will not last for ever....Sometimes I don't really now how long I should work at a session....I stay for 2 weeks on session three, I think I should take my time and not hurry up....nobody said we have to make it in 15 weeks, it took me quite a time to get there were I am, so It can take a little while to manage all this .regards!
Re: What are your expectations like?
Peony,
I did complete a couple of the things I wanted to do that I had put off for a long time and it made me feel great! I did congratulate myself. Now, my conscious is nudging me again - that was great, but you still have all this that needs to get done! Motivating myself past that thought of I really need to do this and making myself do it is so difficult, but the end result was great. I hope I can continue to do what needs to get done, pushing past the perfectionistic inactivity and reaching more goals. Good luck to you too! We can do it!
Pat2,
You expressed yourself very well! Congratulate yourself for that accomplishment! I don't think there is a set time frame for working through the program. You do it at your own pace. They do suggest one week for each session, but I did spend two weeks on session 4. I think they don't want you to get too stuck on any one session and then not progress to the next one. This can be especially true if you are perfectionistic and then become overwhelmed by everything thinking you didn't do it good enough. Remember, you have the program and can always go back and review it. Good luck!
I did complete a couple of the things I wanted to do that I had put off for a long time and it made me feel great! I did congratulate myself. Now, my conscious is nudging me again - that was great, but you still have all this that needs to get done! Motivating myself past that thought of I really need to do this and making myself do it is so difficult, but the end result was great. I hope I can continue to do what needs to get done, pushing past the perfectionistic inactivity and reaching more goals. Good luck to you too! We can do it!
Pat2,
You expressed yourself very well! Congratulate yourself for that accomplishment! I don't think there is a set time frame for working through the program. You do it at your own pace. They do suggest one week for each session, but I did spend two weeks on session 4. I think they don't want you to get too stuck on any one session and then not progress to the next one. This can be especially true if you are perfectionistic and then become overwhelmed by everything thinking you didn't do it good enough. Remember, you have the program and can always go back and review it. Good luck!
Re: What are your expectations like?
HI,
I am stuck again. I have SO MUCH TO DO that I have been putting off and that has to get done in the next 6 weeks.
My daughter's boyfriend's parents are coming to visit from out of country for 3 weeks in July and we are to entertain them. Never met them and nervous that we wont be good enough. I need to do some work on my kitchen (floors and counter and paint cupboards) which I find daunting.
I also need to put some effort into my garden which I have neglected for some time. There are perennials that come up every year but most will be finished blooming by the time they come. Today I had a guy come to take out a stump I had in the back yard, something I've been putting off for years. I was annoyed about the mess he made and he said, "to be truthful, your whole yard is a mess" .... I had to phone a friend because I was so upset, then I did the relaxation CD then I wrote up the many negative thoughts I had around this guy. Felt better after doing these things. Thank God for the program. I feel discouraged about the yard. 1/3 acre lot and 6 flower beds, around 10 mature trees, various shrubs. Pruning, weeding, and have to get some annuals in. Maybe being perfectionist. My friend says my garden is pretty, but not perfect because that's who I am!
I have been playing computer games because I am so discouraged and STUCK. Gotta do something!!!
I have been very good on my exercise and my daily walks are actually saving my life right now. Also find the daily journal helpful.
Thanks for letting me gripe.
I am stuck again. I have SO MUCH TO DO that I have been putting off and that has to get done in the next 6 weeks.
My daughter's boyfriend's parents are coming to visit from out of country for 3 weeks in July and we are to entertain them. Never met them and nervous that we wont be good enough. I need to do some work on my kitchen (floors and counter and paint cupboards) which I find daunting.
I also need to put some effort into my garden which I have neglected for some time. There are perennials that come up every year but most will be finished blooming by the time they come. Today I had a guy come to take out a stump I had in the back yard, something I've been putting off for years. I was annoyed about the mess he made and he said, "to be truthful, your whole yard is a mess" .... I had to phone a friend because I was so upset, then I did the relaxation CD then I wrote up the many negative thoughts I had around this guy. Felt better after doing these things. Thank God for the program. I feel discouraged about the yard. 1/3 acre lot and 6 flower beds, around 10 mature trees, various shrubs. Pruning, weeding, and have to get some annuals in. Maybe being perfectionist. My friend says my garden is pretty, but not perfect because that's who I am!
I have been playing computer games because I am so discouraged and STUCK. Gotta do something!!!
I have been very good on my exercise and my daily walks are actually saving my life right now. Also find the daily journal helpful.
Thanks for letting me gripe.
Last edited by peony on Mon Aug 27, 2012 7:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: What are your expectations like?
Hello Dixie,Dixiesmom wrote:Peony,
I did complete a couple of the things I wanted to do that I had put off for a long time and it made me feel great! I did congratulate myself. Now, my conscious is nudging me again - that was great, but you still have all this that needs to get done! Motivating myself past that thought of I really need to do this and making myself do it is so difficult, but the end result was great. I hope I can continue to do what needs to get done, pushing past the perfectionistic inactivity and reaching more goals. Good luck to you too! We can do it!
Pat2,
You expressed yourself very well! Congratulate yourself for that accomplishment! I don't think there is a set time frame for working through the program. You do it at your own pace. They do suggest one week for each session, but I did spend two weeks on session 4. I think they don't want you to get too stuck on any one session and then not progress to the next one. This can be especially true if you are perfectionistic and then become overwhelmed by everything thinking you didn't do it good enough. Remember, you have the program and can always go back and review it. Good luck!
Thank you, that's sounds good....and you 're wright...my good old perfectionism is still around, maybe I better take it all a little bit easier, it's amazing how I start to look at myself in a different way....still a little bit puzzled I must say but interesting ....I realized that I have probably more or less fight against a lot of feelings, fears... for most of my life....and now hoho I have to learn to float with it and let it go....well I'm still on it....will get me a while to get on with that one....but no stress....we have plenty of time, don't we! Thank you for your support.....
Re: What are your expectations like?
Dear Pat and Dixie,
It's good to know there are other people working the program. We are very fortunate to have it.
I had a great day today. I have had some success doing some things that are risky and hard for me to do. Yesterday I was commenting to my husband how amazing that I have been so proacive lately. He said he thinks it is the program. He doesnt even know what it is but he sees results.
I think it's like dieting. You have to keep doing it ... all the time. Even though I am on session 6 now I find Session 3 Self Talk is really important for me. I have so many negative thoughts to notice, question, change, and problem solve. Writing it down makes a big difference. I have the 2 booklets like they recommend; the daily journal and the negative thoughts "workbook". I aim for every night. If i miss a day or two, I catch up.
All I can say is, work the program the best you can and stay with it !!! I think it's helping us.
It's good to know there are other people working the program. We are very fortunate to have it.
I had a great day today. I have had some success doing some things that are risky and hard for me to do. Yesterday I was commenting to my husband how amazing that I have been so proacive lately. He said he thinks it is the program. He doesnt even know what it is but he sees results.
I think it's like dieting. You have to keep doing it ... all the time. Even though I am on session 6 now I find Session 3 Self Talk is really important for me. I have so many negative thoughts to notice, question, change, and problem solve. Writing it down makes a big difference. I have the 2 booklets like they recommend; the daily journal and the negative thoughts "workbook". I aim for every night. If i miss a day or two, I catch up.
All I can say is, work the program the best you can and stay with it !!! I think it's helping us.