Needing External Validation

Do you have such high expectations of yourself and others that you’re constantly disappointed? Learn how to have realistic, reasonable expectations and be happier than you’ve ever been before.
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NeverQuit
Posts: 162
Joined: Mon Dec 06, 2010 1:22 pm

Needing External Validation

Post by NeverQuit » Mon Dec 19, 2011 8:30 pm

I have really picked up on this recently in situations in my life, I NEED to know that others approve of me. And it's a sub-conscious thing, but I am beginning to pick up on it more in myself. I want to fix people, I want to MAKE them change, and I know I can't. Definitely ties into expecations. Can anyone else relate to this?
I need to go over this lesson again.

Nel01073
Posts: 72
Joined: Sat Oct 15, 2011 2:04 pm

Re: Needing External Validation

Post by Nel01073 » Mon Dec 19, 2011 9:25 pm

Hi Neverquit. This has been a life long struggle for me except I kind of always been aware of it but it has gotten worse lately. Im always comparing myself to others in different ways. Ive been doing it for so long its become a part of who I am. Also im constantly wanting to change my family members. I just think its for their own good but im starting to accept I cant control them. I can give them advice and they will decide if they want to take it or not.

Iwillbebetter
Posts: 484
Joined: Sun Nov 27, 2011 8:35 am
Location: Minnesota

Re: Needing External Validation

Post by Iwillbebetter » Tue Dec 20, 2011 9:12 am

I can deffinately relate. Funny thing is I spent my life trying to be the one who didn't care what others think. Now I am starting to see how much I do rely on what others think. I thought it didn't matter. It's amazing when I really stop and look I look to everyone one else for everything. To tell me I did good, to tell me I am good, to tell me I look good. Oh and yes change the family. I have wanted that many times. And thought how much better things would be for me if so and so would just do this or stop doing this. What a concept, if I change the way I view it or react to it... then it changes everything. I am just starting this one and know I will be spending a bit of time in it and am sure I will be reffering to it often. This will be something so easy to "fall back into"
"Only rainbows after rain, the sun will always come again, and it's a cirlce, circling around again it comes around again...."

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