When things arent fair

Do you have such high expectations of yourself and others that you’re constantly disappointed? Learn how to have realistic, reasonable expectations and be happier than you’ve ever been before.
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Nel01073
Posts: 72
Joined: Sat Oct 15, 2011 2:04 pm

When things arent fair

Post by Nel01073 » Sat Nov 26, 2011 1:05 am

When things arent fair I dont know if I should let it go or do something about it. Also if someone knows something really bothers me and they still do it should I just let it go? Am I expecting too much from them? I dont know why this session is so hard for me to grasp. I have to keep coming back to it.

christieinez
Posts: 17
Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2011 12:47 am

Re: When things arent fair

Post by christieinez » Sun Nov 27, 2011 7:49 pm

I know how you feel. I have a hard time with things not being fair. I always feel like everyone else around me, particularly work are getting promoted and I am working so hard and I don't feel like I am being appreciated. I do think that it is good to say something otherwise it gets bottled up inside and you will start to resent those who are doing things that make you upset. I have been working on voicing my complaints and concerns and I feel like it helps me. I mean we all know life isn't fair but does that mean we are settling?

Nel01073
Posts: 72
Joined: Sat Oct 15, 2011 2:04 pm

Re: When things arent fair

Post by Nel01073 » Sun Nov 27, 2011 11:36 pm

Thank you christieinez
I hope things get better for you at work. Sometimes I feel Im the only one trying to do something about the problems. Recently I had a problem with someone who was doing something that really bothered me and I let them know how I felt but it seemed they didnt care or didnt want to compromise. I felt like a failure like maybe I was the one with the problem. This lesson has been really difficult for me but also very important. I think it is better to talk about whats bothering us instead of keeping things bottled up inside. I hope I keep hearing from you. All of your advice has been really helpful. Good luck. :)

Iwillbebetter
Posts: 484
Joined: Sun Nov 27, 2011 8:35 am
Location: Minnesota

Re: When things arent fair

Post by Iwillbebetter » Fri Dec 16, 2011 7:47 am

Nel, I think it can be about finding a balance as well. I think somethings should be let go. I know personally I can let MANY things get to me, and I'm reallizing some of them are just silly and should be "let go". While some things are not as silly and should be addressed.
Now for you to address it and then it be "ignored" is another story!! Don't let that make you feel that you are "wrong" in anyway or a failure as you said!! These are YOUR feelings and that is not wrong!! How to address or where to go after that I'm not sure. But you should be patting yourself on the back for addressing it in the first place not feeling down because they were not receptive. That's something I know I have to get better at, we can express how we feel, but we can't control what others do with it. I'm starting to see, there are a few relationships in my life, that I am going to have to work on changing, and if the other people are willing to change, I might have to just end them, as much as that would "hurt" Some things we can't just leave as they are as we grow!!
"Only rainbows after rain, the sun will always come again, and it's a cirlce, circling around again it comes around again...."

Nel01073
Posts: 72
Joined: Sat Oct 15, 2011 2:04 pm

Re: When things arent fair

Post by Nel01073 » Fri Dec 16, 2011 8:02 pm

Thank you iwillbebetter. I do think we should be able to keep a balance. Im learning that some things arent as important as others and little by little Im starting to let go (though its been hard). Other thing are more complicated. It was really hard for me to address some of those things because I was already feeling so bad about what was going on and when people refused to cooperate it only made it worse. This is still one of the hardest things for me to accept. To not blame myself for feelung uncomfortable about a situation and thats its okay to address the things that are bothering me. I think that what happens after that can help us to determine if we need to work on changing some of those relationships. I hope things work out for you. :)

Iwillbebetter
Posts: 484
Joined: Sun Nov 27, 2011 8:35 am
Location: Minnesota

Re: When things arent fair

Post by Iwillbebetter » Fri Dec 16, 2011 10:23 pm

I know what you mean. I have always had trouble with that. I am certianly not the one to speak up. Although I've always wished I was. It sounds like you are on the right path for sure!! I hope that you are able to stick with it!! I for the first time ever actually believe I will be able to speak up and know that I am worth speaking up for, not take the blame/feel the guilt, to not allow people to treat me less that I deserve to be treated etc...
Yes I agree it is more about addressing the issue and going from there, it's addressing the issues I need to work on. And there are a few of that I hope I can get to sometime soon. It's not if it's just when. I know at this point I am not ready for those. I do need to work more on myself and get further into the program. :)

I certianly hope things work out for you and I hope you are able to keep on the path you are on!! :)
"Only rainbows after rain, the sun will always come again, and it's a cirlce, circling around again it comes around again...."

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