SEXUALLY ABUSED

[isabel001]

hi everyone....

i made a realization just today, I'm ready to share my story to everyone of you.... to inspire women/men out there who were sexually abused as a child or as an adult...

i was molested when i was 8 years old, and at first i didn't know what was happening... for some reasons, i wasn't able to scream, i wasn't able to shout for help and i was so FRAGILE...

it continued when i was growing up... still I couldn't scream, I couldn't shout for help... i was so FRAGILE...

then I didn't know what to do, I didn't know who could help me because I belong to a dysfunctional family, i might just as well keep it MY DARK SECRET

I grew up to be very smart, i was an A+ student almost all through out my school years but deep inside me "SOMETHING WAS WRONG"

my heart was full of hatred, self blame, agony, despair and insecurities...

I couldn't share it to everyone because I was so fragile and I didn't know how to start....

I suppressed ALL THE SEXUAL MOLESTATION MEMORIES. I killed all the memories of my childhood... I grew up thinking I was a CURSED...

I thought I succesfully KILLED these NIGHTMARES OF MY LIFE but I was wrong...

IT HUNTED ME FOR ALL THE YEARS OF MY LIFE. I GOT FIXATED. I DIDN'T GROW. I WAS STUCK. MY HEART WAS DYING. I FELT ALONE.

now, I'm one of those people who is suffering from POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER.

I HAVE DEPRESSION. I HAVE ANXIETY.......

IT'S 7:45 PM RIGHT NOW, and im offering this story of my life to all the STRONG SURVIVORS of SEXUAL ABUSE in this whole wide world....

i know it's not easy... IT'S PAINFUL and i describe it as a DYING HEART

BUT

my merely SURVIVING this trauma means WE ARE BLESSED. GOD MADE A MIRACLE IN OUR LIVES THAT NO ONE COULD TAKE AWAY FROM OUR LIFE.

TO ALL SURVIVORS OUT THERE, SPEAK UP! SHARE YOUR STORY! DON'T HIDE IN THE CLOSET OF SHAME AND HYPOCRACY!

WE ARE BLESSED, WE ARE STRONG, WE ARE FIGHTERS, WE DON'T GIVE UP!

i feel a lot better now that i have written this MESSAGE. share your story and after typing your LIFE EXPERIENCES... EXPERIENCE HOW IT FEELS TO BE FREE.

[garyhermesch52]

I've never been physically abused but I have been emotionally (probably we all have been). I think it causes to a greater or
lesser degree the same thing, which is self-hate. I'm not an expert but I'm thinking thats what is probably behind scary
thoughts. What we have to remember is that the self-hate thoughts are not true, but we are so used to them and "addicted" to them that it is hard to change them to the true stuff. A turning point in my life was when I picked up a magazine in the
back of church with an article in it on self-acceptance. I can't remember a lot of the details from the article but there was
10 points they listed, so its not necessarily just a real simple process. I do remeber that I had to keep reading it and re-reading it over and over because I just could not get it to sink in. Eventually enough of it did, though to at least get me on the way to the point where I am today. You might try what Ken suggested in the program which is to keep repeating to
yourself "Thoughts only thoughts", over and over. Another piece of advice I heard one time to try to love yourself is to
think "How can I love all of God's creation if I don't love myself". The point is to be in what they call that observer mode
and try to catch yourself being disrespectful or unkind to yourself, but instead be patient and love youself unconditionally, because those are the thoughts that are really true. I hope that helps a little bit and good luck!