Figuring out why I'm divorced

[garyhermesch52]

Its slowly getting through my thick skull what my ex-wife was talking about. I really wasn't even that interested in her.
I was pretty much consumed with myself and how I felt. I was in love with the idea of having all these expectations
about being married and having a large family and making myself look good, I guess. No wonder she said I was overly
scrupulous and never talked to her. Of course there was no way she was ever going to live up to my ridiculous expectations
any time soon. I think maybe it was because of having been bullied myself and not dealing with it. Just passing the buck.
Then you start having these irrational fears. You start being afraid of something and you don't know if its a real threat or
not or if you should be afraid of it or not, and your mind just start going in circles because you can't decide.
What we have to understand (through education about this condition) is that what's scaring us is not reality, its part of
the problem, actually. I think its these irrational fears that make us so negative and have such ridiculous expectations. Its a defense mechanism or something. Oh well, life goes on!

[finallyhere]

g52, everything you wrote back in that July post makes sense to me right now. Just starting lesson 4, so I will probably never catch up to your current posts, but I was glad to read it. thanks buddy.