Major issue!!

[Morgan1776]

Hi everyone I have a major issue in my life right now and i'm having alot of trouble. I'll start from the begining I have struggled with anxiety and depression for most of my life as im sure alot of you have. When I started this program alittle over a month ago I was excited and nervous and as i went thru the first couple of sessions I felt that I was in the right place and I was chugging along also had feelings of being overwelmed and that I was not doing it right. I think it was in session 2 when they talked about people with anxiety tend to avoid lots of things and to think about some of the things you avoid so i did. As i did this there were things that i could identify that over the course of my life I defintly avoided do to anxiety and one of them is breaking up with my girlfreind of 14yrs I have had these feelings from time to time about this over the years but have been terrified to move on I have broke up with her several times (4 I think) but I can never move past it once the severe anxiety and panic sets in I have ended up always going back because shes my safe person and safe place and I'm hers I think. Well on Tues. of this week I talked to her that I was having some of these feelings agian. I cant beleive I could even make sense because of the overwelming anxiety I was feeling and long story short I ended up leaving and have not been back since we've texed alittle back and forth but I can't face her Its SO HARD I feel so guilty and am having lots of anxiety over this and lots of obsesive thinking I know this is a major change and thats were most of my anxiety comes from CHANGE. I did'nt plan this and was not expecting this when I started this program but here I am. I hope this post made sense because I'm freaking out! and I start to feel spacey,confused,bewildered and overwhelmed. I also don't want to stop the program either but I feel this is hampering my ability to focus on the program. I havent been using the forums at all only once but thats my goal is to start posting more so if anyone wants to responed any encourageing words would be much appreciated.

[sappho]

I find the more I am true and good to myself and my feelings, the better I get, and with that less anxiety. Safe people and getting through my anxiety alone are things I struggle with. I have a habit of going back to people that I'm comfortable with even when I know I really don't have the feelings for them that I should. That I just don't want to be alone. But it gets better. I take it slow and sometimes have to really convince myself to keep going and the days get better. When my anxiety is really bad I have to use all the tools I'm given and my safe person is now. Self. I breath and say, " I love myself, myself is good to me, myself is there for me, myself will love me back. So don't feel guilty for taking care of yourself. I don't feel like I've been doing the program perfectly but we don't have to be perfect, I just keep going, some days better than others. The more I do the better my day is.

[CourageousKris]

Oh my goodness...what a monumental thing to go through right now. I see you posted this almost a month ago, but hope your doing better now. Obviously this relationship was hurting you, not helping you and that you knew that deep down. I'm not saying your ex-girlfriend is a bad person, just maybe not the best fit for you right now...or ever. I cannot image the emotional upset this has caused you and the anxiety I'm sure it's brought on. Just know that you're not alone out there....we're all here for you.
I too have come to some pretty serious realilzations while going through this program and it was terrifying to talk to some of my family and my husband about some of their behaviors that were not helping me. Major anxiety and I too didn't think I was making much sense when talking to them. Things are getting better and better as I go through the progam and learn new skills every week. I struggle with some of them and have good/bad days, but it's so worth it...I'm so worth it.
I hope you have stayed with the program. I know it's hard, but it will help. I truly believe that.
Best wishes and many blessing.
Kris