How is being less effective different from self talk

[CarolM]

Not clear on how to be less effected? Should i be using positive self talk or just ignoring stuff more?

[Kas37]

Well, for me, it's definitely been a self-talk thing. It seems like, in situations where I'd usually be "affected" and overwhelmed, it's because I'm thinking about them in the completely wrong way. I'm thinking, "I can't handle this," and "this is too much for me," and "this isn't fair," etc. So, when I can catch myself and say, "I can totally handle this, I'm strong and capable" and "life isn't fair, but I can deal with that," it becomes easier and the situation has less of an effect on me. I've found that trying to ignore stuff doesn't work; it's there, it's happening, and it's not necessarily going to go away. It's all about changing the way you view yourself, and your role, in relation to what's going on.

Hopefully that helps.

[CarolM]

thanks Kas!

[Paisleegreen]

Good answer! I'm finding the same thing, I keep working on that positive self talk and that its not me that is the "problem here", as other people have their own problems that they bring to the table and like to blame others for it or they are in a bad mood and take it out on me or someone else instead of seeing that they just might be the problem. Paislee

[bunny rabbit]

I had a situation recently with grandchildren. My grandson was having one of his hissy fits in the car and his mother was trying to calm him down while I was driving. Normally I would get very tense and upset at the situation but because of listening so much to the relaxation CD I immediately said to myself "I am calm. I am relaxed. I am peaceful. I am quiet now. My mind is quiet." I kept repeating that and it worked. I felt great and was able to emotionally detach from the situation. Blessings from Bunny