Limitations and expectations? Advice?
Posted: Tue Apr 12, 2011 2:41 pm
I would like to know if there is anyone out there who can relate to this and maybe has some insight or advice. I'm going to try to keep this light because it can be kinda difficult. Before I started this program I knew I had bouts of anxiety and depression. I knew there was stuff I wanted to do but couldn't. I didn't know they were avoidances or that my anxiety had anything to do with it, I guess I just couldn't see it to put the two together, until right before I started the program. Kinda funny. Thing is my avoidances are something that I love very much, and I am one of those people that I force myself to do them. Usually, it ends up with me having mini "breakdowns" of tears, frustration and anger, which I now understand are mini panic attacks- I never recognized them as such because I've had two full blown attacks in my life and they don't resemble it. I just thought something was wrong with me for a long time, but I didn't understand what it was. Anyways, so I force myself to do them and it usually ends up me having a mini panic attack, or getting though it and running away to hide like lucinda says with my tail between my legs lol. I'm not sure why but I kinda think I should be over it by now. I've been doing this stuff for seven years. Difference is, I never knew how to handle the panic and now I'm learning these new skills and I recognize that which is a good thing, but I'm still struggling. I just had an panic attack yesterday trying my limitation. I don't know, I guess I never learned how to deal with the panic, live through it and keep going. I always rushed through or had a panic attack and kinda ran back to my safe place. Until I forced myself to do it all over again. And my main concern with anxiety is embarassing myself in front of people. And when I'm doing my limitations, I'm around people and working with people and most of the time, I end up having issues with anxiety and embarassing myself. It's like a self fulfilling prophecy. So I hope these skills work, because I've been forcing myself through my limitations for so long already, I'm a little discouraged to keep going and keep trying them, even with the skills. That felt good to get out:)