I have never looked at my expectations before.
After listening to the tape, so many things came to mind.
Expectations that ended up getting blown out of the water.
I guess the primary expectation I have is about my relationship
with my family. If I keep on doing the right things with myself,
my family will stop seeing me as incompetent and mentally unstable.
I've held on to this idea for years and still do with my pinkie.
Lately, I've reached a place where I don't know what to do anymore.
I keep hearing that small voice in my mind telling me not to give
up the fight. I usually tell that voice to shut up.
Emotionally and mentally I'm worn out. Everything I have ever
done to help myself has failed royally. I keep facing circumstances
I can't control. I am forever trapped in this merry go round of never
making progress.
I guess I am fed up with getting a raw deal. The only thing I've
learned to expect is more of the same.