"I've yet to meet an absolute perfectionist whose life was filled with inner peace. The need for perfection and the desire for inner tranquility conflict with each other. Whenever we are attatched to having something a certain way, better than it already is, we are, almost by definition, engaged in a losing battle. Rather than being content and grateful for what we have, we focus on what's wrong with something and our need to fix it. When we're zeroed in on what's wrong, it implies that we are dissatisfied, discontent.
Whether it's related to ourselves-- a disorganized closet, a scratch on the car, an imperfect accomplishment, a few pounds we would like to lose-- or someone else's "imperfections"-- the way someone looks, behaves or lives their lives, the very act of foccusing on imperfections pulls us away from being kind and gentle. This strategy has nothing to do with ceasing to do your very best but with being overly attatched and focused with what's wrong with life. It's about about realizing that while there's always a better way to do something, this doesn't mean you can't enjoy and appreciate the way things already are.
The solution here is to catch yourself when you fall into your habit of insisting that things should be other than they are. Gently remind yourself that life is ok the way it is. right now. In the absence of your judgement, everything would be fine. As you begin to eliminate your need for perfection in all areas of your life, you'll begin to discover the perfection in life itself."
-Richard Carlson (Don't Sweat the Small Stuff)
Making Peace With Imperfection
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Rhasslariel
- Posts: 41
- Joined: Thu May 01, 2008 7:55 am
I liked that. Found some quotes that fit in with this thinking too.
Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing. ~Harriet Braiker
A man would do nothing if he waited until he could do it so well that no one could find fault. ~John Henry Newman
Certain flaws are necessary for the whole. It would seem strange if old friends lacked certain quirks. ~Goethe
Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything,
That's how the light gets in.
~Leonard Cohen
To escape criticism - do nothing, say nothing, be nothing. ~Elbert Hubbard
Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best. ~Henry van Dyke
When you aim for perfection, you discover it's a moving target. ~George Fisher
Once you accept the fact that you're not perfect, then you develop some confidence. ~Rosalynn Carter
There are no perfect men in this world, only perfect intentions. ~Pen Densham, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you practice makes perfect. I wish they'd make up their minds. ~Wilt Chamberlain
Always live up to your standards - by lowering them, if necessary. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966
Unless I accept my faults I will most certainly doubt my virtues. ~Hugh Prather
Striving to better, oft we mar what's well. ~William Shakespeare, King Lear, 1605
Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it. ~Salvador Dali
All of us failed to match our dreams of perfection. ~William Faulkner
Congratulations! You're not perfect! It's ridiculous to want to be perfect anyway. But then, everybody's ridiculous sometimes, except perfect people. You know what perfect is? Perfect is not eating or drinking or talking or moving a muscle or making even the teensiest mistake. Perfect is never doing anything wrong - which means never doing anything at all. Perfect is boring! So you're not perfect! Wonderful! Have fun! Eat things that give you bad breath! Trip over your own shoelaces! Laugh! Let somebody else laugh at you! Perfect people never do any of those things. All they do is sit around and sip weak tea and think about how perfect they are. But they're really not one-hundred-percent perfect anyway. You should see them when they get the hiccups! Phooey! Who needs 'em? You can drink pickle juice and imitate gorillas and do silly dances and sing stupid songs and wear funny hats and be as imperfect as you please and still be a good person. Good people are hard to find nowadays. And they're a lot more fun than perfect people any day of the week. ~Stephen Manes, Be a Perfect Person in Just Three Days!
Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing. ~Harriet Braiker
A man would do nothing if he waited until he could do it so well that no one could find fault. ~John Henry Newman
Certain flaws are necessary for the whole. It would seem strange if old friends lacked certain quirks. ~Goethe
Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything,
That's how the light gets in.
~Leonard Cohen
To escape criticism - do nothing, say nothing, be nothing. ~Elbert Hubbard
Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best. ~Henry van Dyke
When you aim for perfection, you discover it's a moving target. ~George Fisher
Once you accept the fact that you're not perfect, then you develop some confidence. ~Rosalynn Carter
There are no perfect men in this world, only perfect intentions. ~Pen Densham, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you practice makes perfect. I wish they'd make up their minds. ~Wilt Chamberlain
Always live up to your standards - by lowering them, if necessary. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966
Unless I accept my faults I will most certainly doubt my virtues. ~Hugh Prather
Striving to better, oft we mar what's well. ~William Shakespeare, King Lear, 1605
Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it. ~Salvador Dali
All of us failed to match our dreams of perfection. ~William Faulkner
Congratulations! You're not perfect! It's ridiculous to want to be perfect anyway. But then, everybody's ridiculous sometimes, except perfect people. You know what perfect is? Perfect is not eating or drinking or talking or moving a muscle or making even the teensiest mistake. Perfect is never doing anything wrong - which means never doing anything at all. Perfect is boring! So you're not perfect! Wonderful! Have fun! Eat things that give you bad breath! Trip over your own shoelaces! Laugh! Let somebody else laugh at you! Perfect people never do any of those things. All they do is sit around and sip weak tea and think about how perfect they are. But they're really not one-hundred-percent perfect anyway. You should see them when they get the hiccups! Phooey! Who needs 'em? You can drink pickle juice and imitate gorillas and do silly dances and sing stupid songs and wear funny hats and be as imperfect as you please and still be a good person. Good people are hard to find nowadays. And they're a lot more fun than perfect people any day of the week. ~Stephen Manes, Be a Perfect Person in Just Three Days!
"No i brestanneth anírach tírad vi amar."
(Be the change you wish to see in the world.)
(Be the change you wish to see in the world.)
Are You A Good Friend To Yourself?
<center>
<a href="http://i95.photobucket.com/albums/l140/ ... s/0727.jpg" target="_blank">
<img src="http://i95.photobucket.com/albums/l140/ ... 7.jpg"></a>
</center>
Friendship with oneself is all-important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else...
--Eleanor Roosevelt
If you met yourself, would you want to stick around and talk? Are you the kind of person others can be proud of? Hopefully you are, because that's who will be with you for your entire life. Your values and beliefs create a pretty good picture of what you want to see in the mirror. To be proud of yourself, do everything you can to make real life look like that vision. Find people that have the qualities you want and learn from them. Becoming a person you like gives you the confidence that you're someone worth being friends with. There's also a flip side to the friendship coin--you also need to cut yourself as much slack as you do your friends. You have friends because you see the good in them, not the flaws. You like them the way they are, warts and all. You enjoy their company and root for them to be happy and do their best. Look at yourself the same way. To be a good friend to yourself, accept your blemishes, while still pushing yourself to reach your full potential. Don't harp on your weaknesses... Take another look in the mirror and be kinder this time...
~ Healthy Reflections ~
Posted by: LINELLA BRECKENRIDGE
<center>
<a href="http://i95.photobucket.com/albums/l140/ ... s/0727.jpg" target="_blank">
<img src="http://i95.photobucket.com/albums/l140/ ... 7.jpg"></a>
</center>
Friendship with oneself is all-important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else...
--Eleanor Roosevelt
If you met yourself, would you want to stick around and talk? Are you the kind of person others can be proud of? Hopefully you are, because that's who will be with you for your entire life. Your values and beliefs create a pretty good picture of what you want to see in the mirror. To be proud of yourself, do everything you can to make real life look like that vision. Find people that have the qualities you want and learn from them. Becoming a person you like gives you the confidence that you're someone worth being friends with. There's also a flip side to the friendship coin--you also need to cut yourself as much slack as you do your friends. You have friends because you see the good in them, not the flaws. You like them the way they are, warts and all. You enjoy their company and root for them to be happy and do their best. Look at yourself the same way. To be a good friend to yourself, accept your blemishes, while still pushing yourself to reach your full potential. Don't harp on your weaknesses... Take another look in the mirror and be kinder this time...
~ Healthy Reflections ~
Posted by: LINELLA BRECKENRIDGE
Annette