More time on session 4

linz360 · Post by **linz360** » Mon Oct 13, 2008 3:14 am

Hey everybody! I have had a hard time with Session 4 because I do have such high expectations of others and myself. Therefore, I am spending about 2 weeks on it, because I don't feel comfortable to move on yet. Who knew this would be such a struggle? Is anyone else having a difficult time with this, or did anyone have to spend extra time on it? Any suggestions on how to move on easier? Thanks to all, any advice is always appreciated!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 1:41 pm

Hi, I started session 4 today, and I am having a hard time with this too. I seems that I'm not sure if my "shoulds" are realistic or not. I don't think I'm totally grasping this. Can someone shed some light on this? Thanks in advance for any advice!!!

chrissyfree · Post by **chrissyfree** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 3:45 pm

I agree...this is the hardest week so far for me...I can't believe how many things bother me...being a perfectionist, guilt, feeling left out of things...it seems to me that all of my shoulds were not realistic...including having to have all the laundry done and making good meals and keeping the house cleaner and doing a better job at keeping up with our homeschool stuff...I have this feeling that I'm not keeping up to my own expectations...I am having a hard time convincing myself that these things really don't matter. Sounds silly when I write it but hard when put into practice!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Oct 16, 2008 10:53 am

Session 4 for me continues to be a difficult lesson. When I went through the program the first time I spent 2 weeks on this lesson. I was stunned to realize how very controlling I had been. I was physically/mentally and emotionally making myself ill over trying to make others see my point of view or to do things my way.

I just recently restrted the program for the second time. I will be spending two weeks on this lesson becsue its so valuable.

Wishing you all much success. Take care and God Bless.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Oct 16, 2008 11:17 am

Wow, weird! This is the first time I have got on this peer support group and I too am on session 4 and having trouble with it. To me almost most of my shoulds are not realistic but like many of you stated it is hard to drop them after keeping this irriational thinking for so many years. What has been working for me is to almost let myself be not affected by anything. I know some things probably should affect you but they are so few and far between. I have just been letting myself let go and not care. This really seems to help me. Sure I still get too carried away on things but then I just calm myself down and forget about it. Laughing about the situations seesm to help also. I have for the first time been able to look at myself when I over react to something and just laugh at how funny I am acting. I take my breaths and then forget about it. For some reason the comedy in how I over react seems to help me.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Oct 18, 2008 11:53 pm

it seems like the lessons go smoothly into the next. so i'd say just go to the next lesson even if you think you're not ready... i think i read that in the book to?
what i had trouble with was the food diary. i keep forgetting to write meals down.

Kelly12345 · Post by **Kelly12345** » Sat Nov 01, 2008 6:23 pm

I'm 3 days into session 4 and what an eye opener I scored 52 on my test. Geez I had no idea what a taskmaster the shoulds and high expectations have been. For me digging in and getting beyond the intellectual and into the gut level is the key for my change. The shoulds and high expectations are truely comical and I've been the monkey in their circus for a long long time. When I really look at them and boil it down they are completely absurd! It's a no win dog chasing the tail behavior. No wonder so many people have told me to lighten up, take it easy and don't be so hard on yourself, but I didn't have a clue what the heck they were talking about, now I do. I'm going to keep plowing forward as suggested early on by Lucinda even if I don't feel I'm 100% ready to go right into Session 5, I'm going because I trust her judgement.