expectations
Trying to lower your expectations is extremely difficult for me to do. I have high expectations for myself and for guys that I am dating. Is having expectations different than having standards. I do feel like I deserve respect in a dating relationship but my homework is telling me to lower my expectations. Also I am very anxious about attending a class reunion. Mostly because I measure myself against everyone that I know. Why can I do about this?
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OldeCodger
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Wed Dec 17, 2008 2:53 pm
Hi n_smile
The Program cautions against having unreasonable expectations of yourself and others. Surely, you should have standards and expect respect. If all around you fail to live up to your expectations, the fault may not be with them.
We often would like to have more than our relationships or circumstances will allow and this sometimes drives our expectations to the unreasonable side of the line.
Life is not in all ways a competition, it is OK to come in second now and again.
If you were in all respects better than everyone you know you would soon have to search for new friends!
Best Wishes
The Program cautions against having unreasonable expectations of yourself and others. Surely, you should have standards and expect respect. If all around you fail to live up to your expectations, the fault may not be with them.
We often would like to have more than our relationships or circumstances will allow and this sometimes drives our expectations to the unreasonable side of the line.
Life is not in all ways a competition, it is OK to come in second now and again.
If you were in all respects better than everyone you know you would soon have to search for new friends!
Best Wishes
-
Guest
Hi Smile:
Expectations:
Okay. My birthday is next month. If I expect that I'm going to get flowers and gifts and lots of attention.
Then I am going to get very disappointed!!!
But if I don't expect anything, and I do get some cards and some phone calls and appreciation , then I'm going to be so pleasantly surprised. i will feel joy then.
Lots of time we expect more of people and of ourselves than really comes thru' for us.
To lower stress levels, the program advises to not expect so much.
It has little to do with our standards, or I should say our values.
However , we can set such high standards for ourselves that we can't live up to it. But that isn't what this means really.
The whole point here is to reduce stress. To help us learn how to live comfortably.
Of course we deserve respect.
But if you expect your date to always cater to your every whim, then you need to lower your expectations. That sort of thing.
Good work there on the program. you are getting there!!
MJ
Expectations:
Okay. My birthday is next month. If I expect that I'm going to get flowers and gifts and lots of attention.
Then I am going to get very disappointed!!!
But if I don't expect anything, and I do get some cards and some phone calls and appreciation , then I'm going to be so pleasantly surprised. i will feel joy then.
Lots of time we expect more of people and of ourselves than really comes thru' for us.
To lower stress levels, the program advises to not expect so much.
It has little to do with our standards, or I should say our values.
However , we can set such high standards for ourselves that we can't live up to it. But that isn't what this means really.
The whole point here is to reduce stress. To help us learn how to live comfortably.
Of course we deserve respect.
But if you expect your date to always cater to your every whim, then you need to lower your expectations. That sort of thing.
Good work there on the program. you are getting there!!
MJ