Stress Center Peer Support

Most of us have grown up believing that things are good or bad. People can be good or bad, experiences, thoughts, ideas, situations, relationships, food, music, careers...pretty much everything. Good or bad is soooo ingrained in our psychies and we have many many things that we link to both things. These links help us identify what things can give us pleasure and what things can give us pain but at the same time it can be something that gives us fear and guilt.

I had an ampiphany recently about this. Perhaps this was something that was taught to me in a class in the past and it created a seed and something triggered it's sprouting into a beautiful flower. Who knows. Anyways I feel really great about it and so I'd like to share it with all you guys as well.

The problem with categorizing things as good and bad is that we avoid the bad things which may help us learn and grow and stay in our comfort zone with the good things. It can also put people above other people and devalue the things that we don't prefer. I honestly feel that without categorizing things into these 2 categories we wouldn't be so judgemental and we also would put so much fear into many things.

Now within ourselves we may call certain things good and bad. Now from my understanding, the way the brain works is when we start feeling a certain way...inadequate, fearful, sad, angry about one incident. We have one situation that triggers one of these feelings and then boom we are flooded with any other situation that we associate with that feeling. I can say I've definately experienced this. For instance, when I would be afraid to go to work...I would start thinking about how afraid I was when I was growing up and was being picked on at school, or how terrified I would be when socializing...and then the fear would bring me to anger and I would cycle through anger situations. Can you relate to this? I doubt it stops there. How about if part of your personality was bad? Don't you think it'd be possible to start building connections between some of the "bad" things and yourself or other people?

Is it really that important to see things as good and bad? Does it make you feel comfortable when you do this? Is it really fair to associate all the bad things with each other? Does it give you energy when you're around bad things? Or does it drain your energy? I feel like alot of my anxiety comes from this. When I think of it, I feel like there is so much pressure to be a good person that I feel really guilty if I do things wrong or not right...that is one of the things I consider to be bad.

Why can't things just be lessons that can help us grow or times of relaxation. Negativity when it comes down to it is really just something that we can learn from and grow...is it not? And what do you feel when you're around GOOD things?

I'd really like to hear from you guys on this one.


Mike

not to mention, when we get really intense anxious feelings that scare the crap out of us, we start avoiding the things that caused this. Would you not think that we would link up some of the main components of that anxious situation with that thing we call Bad? How long would you think it would take before everything becomes "bad"? Even the things that we originally found pleasurable and fun eventually give us anxiety and become "bad" things. I feel that even good things become bad which is why we don't want to do the things that we need in order to get better.



Mike

Mike what a very insightful topic. Its funny, I have begun to wonder some of these things myself lately. Things are neither good or bad its the value that we give it. Its the judgements and thoughts that we place upon something. Isn't it just another form of black and white thinking. Things are either good or bad there can be no shades of gray between.

Then this type of thinking sets us for anxiety/depression. Then if we begin to have anxious /panicky feelings then we automatically think its bad and should be avoided.

Keep up with the insightfuls posts because it challenges us to see/think with our new skills.

Take care and God Bless.

bna

Thank you for responding. I found this stuff to be pretty deep and was a little concerned that it was too overwelming for some people to accept. This just came to me while I was walking home from class. I wasn't trying to figure anything out, I just had it come to me.

I agree that this is another form of black and white. I'm wondering if maybe some things need to be put into the good & bad category but not half of the stuff that happens. Maybe some of the bad things would be deliberately trying to make someone feel aweful about themselves.

I believe that many of our first anxiety attacks were sooooo strong that we quickly linked this to bad...and we've been told by the program that acceptance is a really big part of overcoming anxiety, but how easy can it be to overcome something as "bad" as anxiety? Bad=pain and as humans does it make sense to easily accept pain? If anxiety was good then wouldn't it be easier to overcome?

My insightful posts challenge you guys to see/think with your new skills? Really, I never thought like that. I'm glad, I really hope it makes people get ideas and think more outside of the box. From my experience, receiving all the answers or giving someone all the answers isn't helpful at all. Neither group was able to fully accept what was given but when we figure it out for ourselves, then it really sticks in our psyches. Plus it's another accomplishment to add to our list.


Mike

Hi Mike
I do enjoy your posts. You raise some very interesting topics and I feel challenged to think other than the anxious "oh no here it comes again, what's wrong with me thoughts".

I wonder since you are a program vet have these new skills become so ingrained in you now that you can actually think about things other than anxiety/depression.

Anyways, keep up the posts. Take care and God Bless.

bna
That is fantastic that you're enjoying the posts. I appreciate the feedback soooo much. I'm glad my posts are able to break the anxious cycle. I've learned from another source that the more you can break it...the more you "scratch" that pattern...it's like a disc...If you scratch it enough, it will be difficult to play the same way ever again.

Well anxiety/depression is still there for me..I've gone through it and did very well but then got rusty and kinda been bouncing back and forth but never really going back to where i was before the program. I can say that there are times when I can think alot more than just the anxiety and depression and other times when it is mainly the anxiety and depression. It depends where I am in my life and how much I've tried to take on.

I was actually getting better and better and things were getting tons easier and then I decided I was going to challenge a big anxiety...Social anxiety and took a job which "forced" me to change it and I would have to work on it everyday wheather I liked it or not. So right now, it isn't so much about thinking of other things. I wished I had been using more relaxation techniques for a longer period and ingrained these more so it wouldn't be as uncomfortable but that isn't the case right now and that's alright.

I believe the key to getting to that state is to first get to the state where you can stand up for yourself and then that clarity you speak of presents itself...that or making a dramatic reduction in the stress level in your life (cutting out work, negative people, sleeping earlier), that works well too. The most stressful thing for anybody is feeling powerless in a situation. I've gotten to a point where I haven't thought of anxiety at all. That was when I had the opportunity to do the latter of what I mentioned in this paragraph. It is very very possible and thank you, this question you asked actually motivates me even more.

I hope this answers your question.

Mike