Making your home enviroment positive

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jan 07, 2008 1:28 pm

Hello all,
I have 5 sisters. 2 of which are extremely negative. My mom can be very negative at times and very supportive at times. My oldest sister is very domineering. She knows everything and has to be right at all times. She does not seem to like too much in life. I think it is because she is miserable in he own family life.
The second one is very jealous of almost everyone in our family. Siblings, neices, nephews. Now she is starting to focus on the little ones. She has one daughter and lived her life through her daughters. She thought her daughter was going to turn out so perfectly and when she didn't the rest of us pay the price. They don't even know it and if you brought it to their attention they would lash out at you so bad! I tend not to call them so much. This is before the start of this program. I can't deal with all the negative talk. I have to defend myself, my kids, my neices and nephews. Everyone else is horrible and they are perfect. It drives the rest of us up a wall. My mom I can talk to sometimes and other times she gets very negative. At those times I feel myself getting angry, but just try to change the subject or say I have to go do something. People don't understand. My husband doens't either. I know it's because we have been through a lot together, and I feel this is one more thing to tell him I have. I have depression. The doctor's say it's bipolar. Oh no today it's anxiety. He probably doesn't want to deal with it anymore and furthermore he is not a self help type anyway. He would never go for this type of program for himself, although I see lots of anxiety in him. As Lucinda and also Dr. Phil would say, we have to work on ourselves and hopefully when the family sees the change and really feels the change they will react to us differently and we will be able to react differently to those buttons that they always seem to push just right. Lets hope.
sign me: Still HOPEFULL

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jan 07, 2008 4:06 pm

Hi still hopeful, I'm want to respond to your email about the husband part, but mine is right here and my babies. He doesn't understand and has no understanding and no patience for my depression. I've been reading all these different posts and yesterday was my first day and I thought this was going to help me, but I can tell now after today, that all this talking on line for me may not be the way. I think I need a real someone here. gotta get! Hang in there.

samcat · Post by **samcat** » Mon Jan 21, 2008 5:19 am

The "negative jars" are a great idea! I can relate to having overly negative family members. I decided awhile back to take a break from certain members of my family (mainly my sister) while I work through this program. She is very negative, and I'm pretty negative myself, so when the two of us get together it's one big negativity fest! Either we're bickering with each other or complaining about everyone else in the world. It's not healthy for either of us, and I hope to start gradually spending time with her after I've gained more tools for staying positive. Maybe at that point I can even help her to let go of some of the negativity. Right now, it's a very toxic relationship, and stepping away from it for awhile is like a breath of fresh air.