Stress Center Peer Support

well, ive been kind of putting off checking out the forums :/ the first week of the program went great, but i found myself going downwards as i entered the second week. its like no matter what, i feel so hopeless. i suffer from a lot of anxiety & depression as well. i really am not getting support & i think that's a huge thing. so hopefully i can find it here. since i was born my mom has done nothing but allow fear & anxiety to penetrate my thoughts & my life. not blaming her... but i now understand it was the way she raised me that lead me down this path. (im a senior in high school so i still live with her) i have no friends (im home-schooled) & my boyfriend is hundreds of miles away attending navy a-school. ive never felt so alone in my life. im chronically ill & never have energy to do anything & its killing me inside. ive tried so hard. i guess i just need some encouragement & some boosts. im not really looking for pity, just someone who can relate thanks!~

im about to start session three & im trying my best to be positive about it!

Hi. It's especially difficult to go through this alone, but IMO you really have a lot to be thankful for! You are in high school and you realize that you have a problem and you've found a great way to work on it!

You are your safe person! We'll get stronger and stronger as we go through this program. Count on it. We (ok, I...) have been shrinking our world for a long time to stay in control. As we heal, lets find ways to reach out again!

Stay with it and be proud of your effort!

thank you i really appreciate the reply! & you're totally right, its really great i figured this out early on & found this program to help. im not giving up!

Hi
Boy, I can relate to your story a lot. I am now 43 but when I look back at my life, it sounds so similar. I had no friends growing up and my mother basically had the same issues. I always feel one step removed from everyone else and still have very low self esteem. I never knew what my problem was though and it wasn't until I was 31 and had full blown panic attacks that I sought help. You are so smart and brave for first of all recognizing this and to go ahead with the program. It is the hardest thing you will ever do but also the most rewarding. I envy you in a way because I know that you will go on to live a great and happy relaxed life once you conquer this. Are you currently on any meds? What are you chronically ill with? I am here anytime you want to chat and would love to help you feel less alone if I can.

thank you so much for responding on one hand it has been an encouragement that someone older & wiser out there knows what it is like, but on the other i am sorry that you can relate though..its no fun. yeah, it has been difficult so far to change, but i notice that when i start addressing something & working on it, i feel really good about it & it's an amazing feeling im only on prilosec right now for my unrelenting GERD. i want off so badly, but its the ONLY thing that's taken the edge off. i suffer with horrible constant stomach issues, headaches, & extreme fatigue & insomnia (which of course causes some more issues as well) ive been to copious amounts of doctors & hospitals & they all told me the same thing...there's nothing wrong with me. i always thought that the anxiety was BECAUSE they couldn't figure it out, then as i kept gathering more & more information on anxiety disorders, i realize ive shown signs as early as 6 years old. my mom was not nurturing or understanding in the least & as much as i don't mean any disrespect to her, i really feel like she had a major hand in this. i was so angry at her my entire childhood because of that, & perhaps i finally cracked & my anxiety came out in the open? as im getting older though, i do realize the more she messed up & misunderstood me, the more i will make sure that does not happen when i raise my kids. so in a way, it is a blessing in disguise. its just hard to accept sometimes, especially since at any given time she rips up old wounds. again, thank you SO much for the reply, ill be sure to come to you if i need anything take care & i hope you're doing well!